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Coping with Social Isolation and Loneliness, Together

Written by Sarah Friar

Sarah Friar is the CEO of Nextdoor, the world’s largest neighborhood network that enables neighbors around the world to build connections, stay informed, and help each other in their everyday lives. Building connections in the real world is a universal human need. That truth, and the reality that neighborhoods are one of the most important and useful communities in our lives, has been a source of inspiration and a guiding principle for Nextdoor from the start. Today, neighbors rely on Nextdoor in more than 241,000 neighborhoods around the world in the United States, the United Kingdom, France, Germany, the Netherlands, Italy, Spain, Australia, Sweden, and Denmark.

As I pass the eight month mark at Nextdoor, I continue to be inspired daily by what I’ve had the privilege to observe neighbors doing on our platform. In January, I wrote about how at Nextdoor, we are obsessed with the global power of local, gloriously swimming upstream against the current of other technology platforms. But in reality, it’s so many of you, around the world, who are doing the meaningful work to fight isolation, polarization, and lack of community engagement – proving that the neighborhood is where change begins. 

Technology has revolutionized our world – in many ways for the better. It’s an enormously powerful tool that allows us to stay in touch with friends and family across the globe; it provides us with a source of endless information at our fingertips; and it entertains us in new and exciting ways. 

But technology has also contributed to a more isolated life for millions of people around the world. In the 2019 World Economic Forum panel on loneliness, experts discussed how technology is fueling loneliness and the empathy deficit in our lives, despite the promise of bringing people closer. In the United States, a Cigna study found that over 40% of adults report feeling lonely. The study also noted that loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, making it even more dangerous than obesity. Research in Australia found a similar trend, with 28% of people saying they feel lonely at least three days every week. According to The Campaign to End Loneliness, 40% of people in the UK under the age of 25 report feeling lonely often or very often, and 27% of people over the age of 75 report feeling the same. Recognizing loneliness as a nationwide epidemic, in early 2018 the UK government appointed a Minister of Loneliness to tackle the social and health issues caused by social isolation. 

Growing up in the village of Sion Mills in Northern Ireland, I benefited from an upbringing where everyone in my neighborhood knew each other by name, or even nickname. I grew up at the height of the Troubles, a human-created disaster that divided people based on religion and led to decades of violence. But much like former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy remarks in his piece on loneliness, this tragedy brought our community together in deep and memorable ways.

As I grew up and moved to new communities around the world, I noticed the deep connection that I had become accustomed to between neighbors, and people in general, was vanishing. Even as I embarked on a new and exciting chapter in my life – starting my own family and meeting inspiring people in London, South Africa, and Silicon Valley – I often felt lonely. 

Why? 

As a society, we have become worse at connecting face-to-face and building impactful relationships with one another. Belonging is a universal human need, and in every corner of the world today people are yearning to feel more connected with real people in real places in real ways. So, how can we work together to combat the social isolation we feel and forge a more connected world? 

At Nextdoor, we believe that change starts with each of us opening our front doors and building deeper connections with the people nearest to us: our neighbors. Last year in Europe, we introduced a campaign encouraging neighbors to reach out to each other to combat loneliness during the holiday season. Whether it was to get to know each other better or to lend a helping hand, neighbors across Europe rallied together to pledge their time to help combat loneliness in their local communities. A study we conducted alongside the campaign found that while only 56% of the general public have two or more neighbors they can rely on in a time of need, 79% of Nextdoor members feel they have neighbors they can depend on. We see everyday how neighbors turn to Nextdoor to break the ice and meet new neighbors, and then turn those online relationships into real world bonds and friendships. This holiday season, a time when feelings of loneliness are often recognized, we’ll launch our first ever global “Hello Neighbor” Challenge in hopes of inspiring more neighbors around the world to form deeper connections in their local communities to help cope with loneliness.

But there’s plenty we can do before then. Over the next few days, we will share in your newsfeed and on Nextdoor’s social channels inspiring stories from neighbors around the world who are utilizing Nextdoor to make real social impact in their communities. Recently, I traveled to France to spend time with René, the creator of P’tit Bistrot Solidaire, who opens the doors of his local church community center every two weeks to welcome neighbors for a morning of coffee, chocolate, and conversation. In Spain, I met a group of neighbors who pooled their talents to produce a short film about their vibrant and thriving community. In Australia, Cheryl, a recent empty nester, recently turned to Nextdoor to form new friendships as she headed into a new chapter of her life. A quick post on Nextdoor offering up a cup of coffee and a chat led to dozens of neighbors coming together to get to know one another.

These powerful member stories inspire me every day and I know we’ll see even more of them throughout the rest of the year. Please take five minutes over the coming days to read and be inspired. We hope you will feel energized to “take five” to help, or ask for help, in your community too, and to tell your neighbors on Nextdoor about your experience. A quick conversation at your local store or a knock on the door of a neighbor who might be struggling could make all the difference. In my case, I recently used Nextdoor to find a non-profit organization that matches teens with seniors to help teach them new technologies, and more importantly, help my teens’ learn valuable lessons from folks with a lifetime of experience.

Together, we have an opportunity to change the trajectory of social isolation around the world. If we do not focus on rebuilding authentic connections, we risk retreating further into our disconnected lives and unraveling the social fabric that is woven so deeply into strong communities. I’ve found that when you give to your community, you end up getting so much more out of it. At Nextdoor, we strive to provide a platform that will motivate you to reach out to those around you and to take the necessary steps to build stronger, real world connections among your local communities. In the words of one of our members: “you might just meet someone wonderful.” 

All the best,

Sarah Friar 


Thanks to experts from AARP, Cigna, The Big Lunch, Campaign to End Loneliness, and the UK Government for speaking with us on this topic.

For more inspiring stories of neighbors coming together, be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter

1,083 Comments

  • Thank you so so much for this for one and for NEXTDOOR for two — I love it!!! I send out postcards a lot – I love my community – I love the thought of bringing people together and I love that we are able to communicate the way that we are — whether it be about a lost animal that has been lost and more importantly found – to some people asking to please be on the lookout for some other kinda possible shady people….to events going on yes that can include people — OMG esp anyone who is alone and lonely!!!! I say a huge thank you for sure to you, this blog and to all of the people who contribute indeed on NEXTDOOR as it makes me feel happy to know that people care and care about each other and our community!!!!!! Cont me in absolutely yes!!!

    • Count me in. I am lonely and would like to meet people for games, cards, dominos, etc . Also get together just for coffee etc

      • I feel exactly the same. I am a widow with no family in Texas. I do not know the names of most of the neighbors who live close by

        • Hi Nancy! My name is Virginia and I also live in Texas. We’re possibly living in different towns, but we could communicate often if you would like that. I live in El Paso, and you?

          • Unfortunately I have to work all day and don’t know my neighbors. I would like to meet some neighbors!

          • Hi Virginia, I was born in El Paso my mom passed away when I was 5 and my was 4, so my dad brought us to San Antonio. Have never been back to El Paso. Would you like to be a pen pal?

          • Hi, Nancy and Virginia, where in Texas do you live. I also live in Texas.

            Hi Maria Rivas and Deb. I live in Texas also. You can email me

          • I am not lonely. I am follower of Jesus Christ. Fives plus women of God is having this Great yard sale.! I hope these ladies can find a good church & get involve. Yard Sale- 2033 Bishop Drive, Charleston,SC. Please come. Blessings to all the ladies. If this is wrong site. Sorry. Love ❤️ you all

          • For those of you who live in Central New Jersey – please check out nonprofit Caregiver Volunteers of Central Jersey – http://www.caregivervolunteers.org. We’re a nonprofit that has been combating loneliness for the past 26 years. We offer free friendly visits, free check in phone calls and even in-home therapy dog visits to seniors who are lonely. If you’re looking to volunteer to help your neighbor – please give us a call 732.505.2273. Thanks!

          • Hi neighbors, Shannon from Nextdoor HQ here! it is so inspiring to see so many of you reaching out and expressing interest in meeting up in real life. While we love what is happening here in the comments of this blog, we wanted to remind everyone that this platform is the Nextdoor blog and is different from your neighborhood’s Nextdoor website. If you’d like to connect with neighbors who are in your local community, sign into your Nextdoor account and share a post with your nearby neighbors.

            If you are new to Nextdoor, welcome! We are so excited you’re here. We encourage you to create a free account and get to know the members of your local community. Get started at https://nextdoor.com/

          • Virginia I will be moving to El Paso in about a month to live with my son

          • HI! I AM LOIS. I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS. I AM LONESOME MYSELF. I CAN GO ANYWHERE BUT WHO WANTS TO GO BY THEMSELVES ALL THE TIME/ EMAIL IS ELLIPSCOMB1948@GMX.. I LIVE IN GOOCHLAND CO VA

          • I’m also a widow in San Antonio , Tx, would like pen pals or meet ladies for coffee etc.

          • Hi Virginia, I live in Germany but also in El Paso years ago. I am looking for a penpal and not sure if I am right here 🙂

          • I also isolate myself and live in Cypress, TX. Does anyone live in Cypress or nearby?

          • Anyone in Woodstock Ga interested in meeting for lunch, dinner or just a chat over a glass of wine?? I am a widow looking for friendship

          • Hello! Where are you? I am in Austin, Texas! Pray your having a blessed day. Here to chat. I isolate too! Doing better and getting house done with organizing. Have lots to still do for self, etc. So, praying and focusing on bettering self. Some days tough don’t sleep for different things, getting better. I make jewelry and need help to finish some projects as I organize and finish uploading pictures, pricing etc. Will teach for the help! Time to share.

        • Come join,
          Lanier Women’s Group, 1st Thursday each month, except July and August, at First Presbyterian Church 10:30 am, 800 South Enota St. Gainesville, This originally started for Newcomers.
          Meet and Eat group,3rd Saturday 11:30 am, restaurant TBD, email Melinda Flock, lake05@aol.com, let her know you wish to join, and to have your name placed on email list to be notified.

          • I would love to make some new friends. I lost my mom 5/2, another friend 5/7, and 7/14 I lost one of my best friends. Besides this, I was caregiver for my mom, whom had a stroke, and alzheimers/dementia. I was her caregiver for 4 years, and in that time, most of the few friends I had, have either moved away, or passed away. I would enjoy someone to share happy hours, shopping, day trips, or to travel with. I don’t have any children but I do have 5 parrots, that all talk, and 2 cats, that are all very special to me. If there is a singles travel group, or others that would enjoy having someone to join them, and to start getting some new friends, please contact me. I am going to grief sessions at a church on Sunday nights, and I do take care of my 92 year old neighbor, but I have way too much time on my hands with all the losses, plus you can only clean just so much! I hope there are others that would enjoy getting together.I live in Murrells Inlet, SC, and am not looking anything but friends for now. Take care! Cynthia

          • Gainesville is far. I live in JAX, but would love to chat with more people.

        • Nancy,
          Where do you live? We have in Bowie Maryland a widowed Person Support group for men and women who lost their partners and/or spouses. The group helps to understand emotional ups and downs, exchange of ideas how to cope and find a new “normal” life. No religious affiliation is involved. The group is very divers and international. Social events are organized.

          • That’s great! I live near Bowie MD. I have an idea for your group: you can socialize together by going to a play or musical at the Bowie Playhouse. Two community theater groups present shows to much acclaim. Tickets are around $25, must leas than theater in DC.

          • What a wonderful thing to provide for both women and men. I always wondered who took care of the men when they have a loss, other that at a medical center. I am a widow who remarried, but I care enough to contact the men friends who lost their spouses. They have feelings too, Congrats on your being so compassionate to include them. God Bless all your efforts to comfort and protect.

          • Hi Tina.Archibald–hope you are this. I’m in JAX too. Mandarin area. Where are you?

          • I am a widow, as well. I would love to get together for coffee, chats, plays, hikes and just friendship. I am feeling awfully alone. I just moved to Alexandria. Bought a townhouse and am having a hard time adjusting to where I am living. My tel is 703 881-6091. I look forward to hearing from you. Kam

          • I’m a widow with no circle of friends in the Bowie MD area. Could you provide more information on this support group? I’m lonely, I miss the companionship and I’d like to start having a life outside of work or being the last minute (unpaid) babysitter for family members. The only restriction is I’m employed full time and can’t make any day time meetings.

          • I live in Pikesville MD. And I am
            Recently widowed. I have very few
            Friends in MD. And I would love
            Company to talk, shop, enjoy movies, laugh etc.

        • Wish I were closer to you since I’m in the very same situation. I have no friends around my age, and I wish I did.

          • I agree. I would like to create a new circle of friends. I used to, but too many people went in diff directions.
            Im in South Florida. Im home most of the day. 61 yrs young.

          • Hi Rachel (my granddaughter is named Rachel too). I live in Houston but have been doing some traveling since September. I went to three grandchildren’s graduations in three different cities. If you wish, Please tell me something about your life.

        • I’m also a widow with no family. I don’t know where you are but you’re welcome to contact me. I’m in Round Rock. Best wishes.

          • Hi. I’m trying to connect with the Texans I have seen posting here. I live in Houston and would like to meet with those in the area. It sounds like there are several of us who are not finding people our age to socialize with like we would like to. I’m 62 years old and single and like to do all kinds of activities. Maybe this post will be helpful to some of us. Have a good day

          • I live in Missouri. I am very much alone and lonely and also very ill. It would so nice to have someone to whom I could talk once in a while.

          • Round Rock Texas?
            That is a bit too far for me however, I did grow up in Burnet.

          • Great article from the CEO. Her statistics on isolation and loneliness r startling. I consider myself to be an isolationist. But 70% of the time, its a good thing and I don’t feel lonely. I guess that’s because I have hobbies to turn to. I do however wish I could join local book club. If anyone knows of any for Southwest side of Indy, please share info. Have a blessed day all!

        • I understand. I’m home bound with my daughter who has a terminal disorder.
          Write away. I’m in Hideaway TX

          • I’m home bound as well, my husband is terminal with stage four colon cancer. We could email or connect in some way if you like. I live in Colorado.

        • I am far way from where you live, but have felt that isolation and loneliness a number of times as I’ve moved to be by grandchildren (and their parents). Prior to moving from my friends of many years, I had no idea how separation from those dear people would affect me.

          Again, please reach out. I hope you will find encouragement and new friends with Next Door.

          • hazlewood. Linda, my isinda too. I am a cancer survivor of 33 years I had colitis for most of my childhood. At 25 1/2 years i had a lot got married found out i was pregnant after I gave birth I found out I had cancer. I was under for 10 hours. I have been living with an ileostomy I do not have any large intestine. But i am here. If you can get a hold of the American cancer you can get help there are a lot of findings that could save your husband.if you do nothing but the basic cancer radiation treatment and chemo treatments i pray your husband makes it.

        • Loneliness. – solution. Berkeley. California. Is a college town. —with lots. Of Cafes. Used to see. People at tables. Talking to v each other. Eye to eye. —-NO. MORE. ! Today it’s. One. Person. To a table. With. Their. Laptop. Computer. ——-

          • I live in Pleasanton and feel the same way you do. I like to have conversations face to face. Are you interested in getting to know each other first by e-mail. Also I am married (50 yrs.) I am 70 yuk

          • Hi Harry. Yes technology has isolated most of us. I always admonish my grandchildren to call me inst ad if or in addition to texting. While I have embraced technology, I still hold a letter or phone call near and dear to my heart. Respond back if you wish. Take good care.

          • and they *might* even be reading your post about social isolation! plate o’ shrimp!!

            a late friend of mine, blair newman, back in the early days of the well (one of the oldest online communities) was lamenting that folks seemed to be getting “internet addiction.” his solution? regular group meetings for therapy. online . . .

            I Am Not Making This Up (tm dave barry)

        • Where on Texas? I am in Denton and I feel the same way!! I would like to meet and help our HOA in doing things. I, too lost a husband and am remarried, he works a lot so I am alone a lot. Hopefully your close to me.
          Bobbie

        • I wished “the group/s on next door where able to open or function. I’m an isolated grandmother fostering my 4.5 yr old grandson. I wished I could start a group on Nextdoor of maybe others whom may ne feeling like I do. Alone at 60 and no friends whom are raising little kids at my age. I need connections for myself and for my grandson to have a friend to talk and play with. Its a very tough job and I have no one to talk and relate with. I tried sending out a post and receive not a one response. So sad.

          • WHY are you all not putting in your locations? Some of you are, thank you, but many are not so someone who might want to respond will hesitate if they do not know where you’re ‘coming from’. Just a thought . . .

        • Sue would love to meet some nice people to share some laughs and talk withehere in Texas, I was raised pin San Antonio

        • Hi Nancy. My name is Maria. If you (or anyone reading this) have no reservations on my being gay I would love to meet up for coffee and good conversation. I’m going through a 71/2 yr breakup and also work from home which makes it tough. I hope to make friends and get out for a while even if it’s for a walk.

        • Hi Nancy-
          My name is Gretchen and I was touched by your post. I love to mail cards to people via snail mail. I live in California which I know is far away from Texas. If this interests you we could try being pen pals.

          Take care

          Gretchen

        • Hi Nancy,
          I am also a widow without any family. I wanted to let you know I found a wonderful group on FB,
          Elder Orphans. I am not a social media type person and only check FB once in awhile. But I look forward to sharing with others in the group. All are very supportive. It would be nice to have a local live group, but in the meantime, you might find this helpful.

        • Hello Nancy, where in texas are you? If ya ever need a friend to chat with, please feel free to e mail me anytime.

          • Nancy
            Hi I am a fellow Texan in the Houston area. are you anywhere in the area. I am retired single and would love to connect, chat, and if you are in the area then get together…… if you see this note and want to, then reach out anytime

        • Hi Ursula-
          I was not born in Germany my parents just fell in love with the name Gretchen and I was the first girl in the family so I was given that name. I live in Northern California. I enjoy food from a variety of cultures as long as it is not to spicey.

          Thanks for reaching out.

          Gretchen

      • Hi. I am a 70 yr old female who works in the church pantry. A church group of us elders are getting together Sunday around one to eat at Longhorn, and if you just want to chat about things we can do call me at 404 453 4234. Bonnie

          • Ronald, do you live below the Mackinac Bridge or above? I lived in the UP and became an adopted Yoo per! I was told if you can make it past the 10 year mark and still shoveling your own snow…you become a “Yooper” !! However as they saying goes “If you live below the Bridge you’re a troll” LOL
            My name is Joy and I am now in Arizona

          • A fellow Waterford resident, “Hi”!
            I was reading this blog and all the comments and wondered if anyone lived in Michigan anymore. I’ve lived in Waterford for almost 40 years.

          • I am Sophia in Bloomfield Hills, MI. I am Looking for companion 70-75 years old widower for sport and art activity.

        • bonita you you need more need more help at your church pantry reach me 779 475 1497 i can help you

        • Hi Ursula Fiedler-
          I live in the Bay Area not too far from Berkely. My parents fell in love with the name Gretchen and since I was the first girl in our family I was given that name. I was not born in Germany but I really enjoy eating food from a variety of cultures. Thanks for saying hello.

          • Hi, Ron! I was forced to retire from Empire Blue Cross after I got hit by a car.
            I have never worked for the Federal gov’t.

          • Oh! Sorry to hear that. I worked with a “Beth Babb” for the Federal government and thought it might have been you. In any event, thanks for getting back to me and good luck!

            Warmest Regards,

            Ron

          • Maria Elena Hi!
            I am sitting here right now scrolling through the posts to see about Texans and Houstonians in particular and came across your post…….I live in the Sugar Land area…… Would you like to connect? I’m going to finish going through the posts to see if there are others in the metroplex area. I’m 62 years young and would like to make some new friendships……..take care

          • Hi Maria Elena!
            Yes I’m in the Houston area. Yay…..I live in the Sugar Land area. You posted this July 24 and today is August 7 and I’m just seeing it….I am not having much success getting responses….reach out if you like and I’ll give you my phone number and/or email address.

      • Hi, Alice! Where do you live? I’d really enjoy a Scrabble game and I have great coffee that I’m quite willing to share. I have some yummy gluten free cheddar crunchies, too, if you’d like. I’m on 4 Strong Place in Cohoes.

      • I feel the same way as Alice Collette. It would be so helpful to me if I could get together with others just for conversations, games, coffee, etc. I think I can speak here for the rest of my family as well.

          • Hi Baron,
            How funny, I went out to Huntington Beach/San Clemente area last year to see if I could move there….I couldn’t believe the real estate prices out there :). Where in Texas are you moving to. I’m in the Houston area. I hope the move goes smoothly for you. Welcome to Texas.

      • Where are you located? I’m in saint Louis and feel the same way. Having coffee just to have some company would be wonderful!

        • Count me in too…my zip is 44124. Mayfield Hts Oh I am retired & would like people that are similar to me likes dislikes doesnt mind an occasional swear word…loves dogs! Someone that is laid back
          I would like a bud or two for lunch, movies, scrabble,etc…

          • I saw your response on Next Door and just wanted to say hello. And hopes this finds u well. Smile people do still care. I have very few people I know to talk to. I live in a rural part of North Bend Wa.
            So again a kind hello
            KarolynYou go girl.

          • You’re the first person I’ve seen on here close to me! I live in Auburn towards Enumclaw, so it’s less than an hour to you, probably (not sure how many minutes your extra rural bit adds on, and my being on the plateau usually adds a bit to people’s travel time calculations). I’m probably a good deal younger than you (given my age relative to everyone else who has posted theirs) but if that doesn’t bother you I’m happy to meet in real life. I like music (probably not the genres you would expect), interesting films, board games, and cats (I have a couple), among many other things.

          • I just love WA and stay in Port Angeles/Olympic Peninsula twice a year
            for weeks, visiting Lake Crescent. Anybody living in that area who is
            also interested in visiting So Cal, please let me know.
            We could get together in both places.
            Hope to meet somebody :))

          • Hi Puget Sound neighbors! I live in Bremerton, so I’m basically in the middle of all of you. Children are grown, and I lost my husband ten years ago. Spend a lot of time talking to my two boxer dogs and gardening. I love to travel and explore, I miss playing cribbage, and make some of the best coffee and baked goods you’ve ever tasted. Email me at.2bouncingboxers@gmail.com if you want to get together.

        • Kathleen, We have a group of Christians who read some articles — like an overcoming life every Tuesday morning on a coffee shop. We are in St Louis. Would you like to join

      • My experience with Nextdoor is that the “neighbors” on it have made me feel even more isolated instead of less so. People in my Nextdoor neighborhood don’t have a clue what it means to be old and poor in this area. They have merely increased my impression that there is absolutely nothing to do in this city that doesn’t cost a lot of money.

        • Hi, Nancy! Where are you? I’m lonely too and would really enjoy playing Scrabble and drinking coffee with some neighbors. I live on Strong Place in Cohoes, NY.

        • That’s so sad. I know how you feel. I’m way up north from you! I wish I could help you.

        • Maybe you could start something, maybe in a park, that doesn’t require money. It’s tough! Nobody told me I would have to turn into an extrovert in my later years, but apparently that’s what it takes. And oh yeah, being patient! I’m in Denver; come on over!

          • Hi, I just moved from Denver area- there is plenty stuff to do there. Check out Active Minds.com- they are all over the city- library and senior centers always have something going- if you are a Silver sneakers many things at the recanter are free.
            When I was there belong to several book clubs- a mindfulness group- a adult coloring group-

        • Nancy,
          I have the same impression…I live in a neighborhood with nice homes, and nobody knows anybody around…They keep to themselves, and there is no a common place where the ones who want to meet new people would gather. My own condo owners in my building act hostile and grumpy…I was thinking on proposing a Talk Bench at the front of the building, so we could say Hi while waiting for the Uber car…All this is so depressing, because we can’t count on them in case of emergencies, like hurricanes and storm.

          • I am open to meeting new people as well. I work all week.I usually go all day Sunday without seeing or talking to any one

          • I feel the same way. My last neighborhood, we all knew each other by name, watched out for each others kids, but times have changed. I miss being able to just chat with my neighbors. I’m in Jacksonville, FL

        • Nancy, I have the same feeling of extra isolation. People have been mostly rude in my encounters on Nextdoor, not at all neighborly or kind. Really just a reflection of the city I live in. People are rude “in real life” around these parts, too.

          • Me too. I feel so lonely and isolated. I posted about meeting some people for coffee sometime, and no one responded. My neighbors are sour and unfriendly and I live in an apartment near Portland, Oregon. I feel so sad. I need some friends. I have encountered some very rude and hostile people on Nextdoor here in this area unfortunately. 🙁

        • Agree but there are free things to do such as at public library and sometimes at local senior centers. Maybe try those? I’m in Texas by the way and also don’t have much money. Texas property taxes are so high, I may have to leave my home.

          • Hi Margaret
            I just read a reply post from you to someone and it said you were in Texas. I live in Houston. I hear you regarding taxes. I am looking at having to probably relocate myself from a house I’ve been in for about 20 years. I hope this post goes through. I’ve tried several outgoing the past 10 minutes to several people and the message says “I’ve already sent…”. With the heavy response to the post, hope many of us can make connections here! Have a good day.

          • Where in Texas?
            I live near Austin. Frequently feel isolated & alone especially since retirement. Maybe we can have cup of tea or coffee.

        • You don’t need money to have fun! Find someone and go for a walk, a drive, anything.
          Tell the folks that are mean to just back off or don’t talk with them.

        • Nancy, I’m sure there are lots of nearby people who would love to meet at a park for a walk or visit or at McDonald’s for a “senior coffee”.

          Also, in Missouri, our senior center not only provides a low cost meal, but many activities (dancing, cards, woodworking etc).

        • I understand perfectly. I live alone am a widow and if one could die of loneliness I would be dead. My husband passed away 10 years ago and my only son is too busy for me. I have many neighbors but none offer any kind of support……….. not hi, come over for a cup of coffee or even a wave. It’s awful to be in a neighborhood for 10 years and no one even notices an 89 year old woman using a walker.

          • I would be happy to be your friend. I understand from experience how you feel.

          • Hi Janet,
            I just read your post. I wished you lived nearby! I understand what you wrote…..I have lived in my neighborhood for about 15 years and have the same scenario. I have always been friends with my neighbors before living here, everyone doing for each other and in each other’s homes. IT’s a different world now. And I’m only 62. Is there any chance you are in the Houston area? I’m sending you a huge hug my dear. Janice

          • Hi Janet,

            I’m so sorry that you have no support.. I too am lonely and don’t have a lot of support. I didn’t think I’d end up divorced with no kids. Life is even harder for us who are alone. Please know that I am thinking of you and praying for you. ?❤

          • Hi Janet, my name is Mary. I live in San Antonio, TX. Where do you live?

          • Hi Janet,

            My name is Mary. Where do you live? I would love to chat with you.

            I live in San Antonio, TX

          • Hi Janet, Sorry lost your husband, I have lost my husband for over 10 years.
            Try to call Senior Center or AARP to look for some activity in your city, or join church. Don’t feel sorry for yourself, you have to open door for yourself, try to get out the house and enjoy your life, lot of people are looking for some one. Enjoy today tomorrow never come. If you have any problem please e-mail me. My name is Mitzi
            mitziwfl@gmail.com.

          • I sure understand_ same for me exceptI am in Hickory,NC. It is such a different world when one retires…

          • Hi Janet, I just read your post an it just put a big lump in my throat. I am so sorry that your son doesnt make time in his day to go visit you and show you love daily. It’s so sad you only get one mother and one father in your life time, you have to make time to show your love for your parents. My mom is also very old she is 91 and she lives far from me. But I text her daily, call her often and fly over to go see her at least 3 times a year. She is my heart and I dont know how anybody could not make time for their parents. My mom lives alone but my brother lives like 8 mins from her my sister lives very close to her. Every single day one of them are there to check on her popping in different times of the day to see if she has any needs or wants or to play games with her. She has trouble walking but her mind is very active and she loves to play games and she paints. I wish you werent so far I would be more then happy to go visit and do things with you that interest you. But since that is not possible you can message me or email me, we can stay in contact that way if you ever just need some one to talk to.

          • I know your feeling. I lost my husband Apr.2018 and I have been totally alone since he passed. I never see my son, as he is too busy to even call. I have no other family and go days without seeing anyone.
            It has been a sad time since he died. I have my two small dogs and they are my only family now. Do not give any close friends, as my husband and I spent all our time with each other. It is hard for me to meet people for I am very introverted and he died with no life insurance, I am on disability so have no money to go places. I struggle just to pay mortgage and utilities. My life has definitely changed since he died.

          • Hi I’m Gail where do you live , I live in Phoenix. I’m 71. My daughter is living with me and she’s helping me big time with mortgage and bills. She has Aspergers and needs to work.
            Unless people took the time to be a caregiver of their loved ones they have no idea how to talk to a senior. I hate the word Elderly. Now tha I’m older I’m by no means Elderly. Let me know if you want to chat or e-mail

        • Senior Activity Centers, here in Austin, TX have classes, groups, local day trips little cost, m-f. All of us over 50, friendly people. I found a group meeting every Tuesday 10-noon, people doing any kind of art. We have demos one time, bring in our own work, sketches ok, have an art show & sale in May and in Nov, art plus craft. You know, come up with gifts, decor people buy for holidays.
          You can run into people & just start talking to them, at the store, the VA, drive & get ‘lost in your town or nearest city, ask a clerk or shop owner what’s good around there. In Austin, City sponsors free yoga for Seniors at branch libraries. I went, & after a class just stood next to a couple people talking & complimented someone on their striking jewelry. You start talking, she says “There’s this ohter group I belong to” – that is how I found municipal Senior Center.
          Or get the local weekly “what is happening” paper, go to some of the more laid-back art openings. People to talk to. I went to a twice-yearly huge “open studio” just looking in the catalog & the map, in people’s garage or spare bedroom or a shared studio space. Ended up joining the group that organized it. About $4 a month if you don’t have the $50 for one year. They email about lots of events for learning & meeting & sharing your ways around common issues.At one, I said to the young guy next to me I did not get to the last lecture. He promptly got his cell phone & texted his notes to my phone, which I had left home. Today, remembered I had sat next to a fascinating person who had created manipulated photos in great colors while traveling for his regular work. I took several, & while at a small branch library, noticed some abstracts on a wall that remained me of his work. Asked – so, they show local artists there. I thought, his photos! Powerfu, unusual. Today, I thought of bringing us together. I will write him about left Ietting me bring my collection of his photos that he was giving away at a (free) Art Swap event, to that library. Whole new career, I will bring to groups I joined & art places I go already. Then I will ask to have us meet; the young man is a photographer who would find out how to successfully run a business and learn the process for those photos, gain a mentor. He helped me with last meeting’s notes & I can help him. I will collect more of the work & have the satisfaction of getting the artist & his work to the city’s art community, incl.enthusiasts who will buy. The architect, who ran an art gallery at a profit elsewhere and is missing that, will become the latest discovery on our art scene.
          Now, I don’t have money either; a lot of debt, and an ex that spent my money/credit, half-renovated house with burnt-out central a/c, over 60, somewhat disabled. On paper not a lot to work with.

          As Mother said when things were pretty rough, “Just put one foot in front of the other.”

          And, before I forget, money – anyone who whacks you over the head with theirs, is saying they have nothing else going for them. Sad.
          I just bought a couple small window units, 3 days ahead of predicted really dangerously hot month. Someone on Next Door is looking for work; I was about to text, can he help me install them. Now I can get work done, art & other things, see where all that leads. Have other people over, to interact & before long give lessons in one thing or another.
          As somebody, I usually forget who said these things, said,
          You start where you are, with what you have. Mother’s way you just put your foot out and persist, keep going if you’re shy or have little money or something hurts join us, we all have these or similar and now you are not alone. I have found you just get up & put your favorite earrings on, go out the door & go somewhere, anywhere – notice the other people, say something. At the grocery college students ask me what you do with that, or what are these spices you’re buying for. No doubt they will find out; I will do something to get that inf. out.
          Human interaction & some work that makes the world better, you get going on those and you get in a strong mental state that the hassles seem minor.
          If you have ever done anything interesting, useful or both some community college or craft group or small woodworking business will have you as a guest giving a talk/demo. You put that foot out there, notice what someone else seems to need: then you have decent friends, maybe another sideline for earning.
          Will wind this up (you got me into a reflective mood!) so can hire that man to get me back into a/c. Lots to do. Try it, for real – it works.

          • I’m so sorry you feel that way Nancy. I’m lonely and bored a good deal of the time. Started going to a Church that excepts just about everyone and that has helped me quite a bit. Also go on bus trips with the Seniors and enjoy that a lot. Still need friends to visit and go out to lunch, movies, play cards or just to hang out with. I doubt I live anyplace near you but just wanted to say “hello” and wish you well.

          • Reading all these interesting stories from you wonderful people, I find very helpful not only to me, but others as well. The responses are and caring for each other makes this World a better place. I came from a very friendly and caring neighborhood. I am now living the opposite which is very difficult adjustment. If you get a hand lift, that’s a good day. I would love to meet some nice, friendly, honest, God faring people. I am from the West Indies, if interested. My present location Las Vegas. Blessings to all.

        • Hi everyone. Anyone live in Massachusetts or New Hampshire. I am lonely as well. My Nextdoor Neighbor does mostly Request for people who can do yard work etc. Sell stuff, lost animals-which I like about it- but no connecting.

          • Hi Theresa,

            A few years late to see your post… I’m in N.H.
            Please write if you see this!

            Carol

          • Hi Theresa,

            I am seeing your message a few years too late. I live in N.H.
            if you see this feel free to respond Sandibeech29@gmail. Please put something on the subject line, so I’ll know it isn’t spam, if you respond.
            Carol

          • Hello,

            My name is Jeff. I live in Laguna Woods. Maybe we could talk on the phone, and meet sometime.

          • Hi Margie, I travel to Orange Co. twice yearly to visit my son and his family. I live in Arlington TX but am a native SoCal-ian. When visiting I often need to find things to occupy myself and live to get out. I am a 63 yo female and active (no surfing, just spectating.) Message me if you’d like to arrange a meetup, I’ll be there in LB later in August.

          • Jeffrey, how few people appear to reside in Orange County, CA. I suspect that most are engaged in working long hours to pay off their Tesla! Me? No Tesla, live in Huntington Beach, where one may start each morning enjoying Dog Beach with their unleashed dog romping into the waves with the surfers and dolphins.

      • Hello Alice,

        Welcome to Nextdoor. Sorry that you are lonely. I would love tomeet you for coffee sometime. What neighborhood are you in. We can taught on the computer and get to know each other.

      • Go to the Goebel Senior Center, there is lot to do there, every day..they offer a $3 lunch, Monday thru Friday.Bingo is available Tuesday’s Friday and Saturday.. a minimum buy in for approximately$10..there are lot’s of things from knitting, sewing, for those less, fortunate than others, they have a gift store, where these are sold., the gift shop is under renovation right now, but soon will reopen..

      • Alice Collette, I am free most evenings and play cards by myself. Would be happy to stop by… I am wondering, since I am seeing your post, are we in the same Nextdoor community? I am in North Buckhead/ Highpoint.

          • Hi Bob. Somewhere in this thread I saw a post from gentleman in Marietta. Used to live there myself. Perhaps you could contact him. If they still have the Sat. Farmers Market thing in the Marietta Square it might be a nice activity. Say hello to Lake Allatoona for me!

          • People who are finding their immediate neighbors to be less than welcoming (I’m so sorry!), maybe try widening your Neighborhoods. You can do this in your Settings ~ some people prefer to remain within several blocks of their home, but I like to know what is going on all around me. I’m on maybe a dozen differently named neighborhoods, but they’re all within 2 miles of me. People have started several themed book clubs, doggie play dates, bird watching, different kinds of exercise meet-ups (walking, hiking, biking, yoga), and an “I’m lonely, fixed-income, coffee-at-McDonald’s” group that is so sweet and kind to each other.
            Expand your horizons and maybe you’ll catch a new friend, or three!

      • Good morning, Alice! How are you? I don’t remember…do you live anywhere near Cohoes, NY? It sure would be nifty to have you over for coffee sometime. Do you like to play Scrabble? It’s my favourite game, so we could have coffee and Scrabble if you’d enjoy that.

        • Hi Lorraine
          I don’t live on Staten Island but I visit there quite a bit.
          I’m in the Annandale area… where are you?

        • Hi. Lorraine! I’m on the East coast, but I’m nowhere near you, I’m afraid. I live in Cohoes, NY, so I’m a few hundred miles upstate from you. Cohoes is near Albany, the capital.

      • Hi..I’m so grateful for NEXTDOOR,Just being able to meet people,well lets just say I’m so looking forward to it. I’m disabled,live alone-not exactly,my lil guy Nash is a big help emotionally-we talk all the time..he’s my dog,all 10 lbs of him. I’m in upstate ny

        • Hi! Would like to meet new people and make friends. Moved to California and feel a bit homesick and isolated.

          • HI Dee; where do you live in CA? I am near Ventura.
            I am lonely too, — would love to meet people.
            Camarillo, Ventura, Thousand Oaks….
            Ursula

      • I agree a im lonely and if we could make a free time .games play in takes things off the mind .i love table games.you could invite me. Bein 58 and not work in at this time.no one likes to hire at this age.i wish I new of a elder agency that hires just to keep me bissy. Any comments any body.tina renee

        • I found out the thing.
          When I became disabled, I had to give up my business, because a lot of it was physically too hard for me.
          When I tried to get a part time job, everybody wanted a degree. I had no work references, since I was self employed.
          I went to college and graduated in May with a degree in business administration.
          Now I’m trying to find a job and it’s really hard since I’m 60 years old. My husband is a truck driver and he is gone a lot.

          • REPLY TO SILVIA MILLER ON JOBS. TRY USAJOBS.GOV THE GOVERNMENT DOES A LOT OF STUFF ALMOST EVERYWHERE AND AGE IS NO FACTOR. JUST SAYIN’. WIDOWER IN ORANGE COUNTY

          • You and I have a lot in common. Where are you located? I recently moved from San Jose, California to Caldwell, Idaho.

          • Hi Silvia,
            My name is Janie and read your post. Where do you live? I live in San Antonio Texas. I’m not lonely, but I do know how you feel, we are empty nesters but my husband is always gone for work. So just know that there are people out there that care.

          • Where you from? I am from Indiana. My name is Penny. I am 56. I am disabled as well and hate it. I need a friend to talk to. What do you say?

          • Hi Sylvia, Try applying at a trucking company/Sometimes a smaller company is better..Wishing you Luck!!

        • Tina, do you have something called Senior Options? We do in Columbus, Ohio. I know what you mean about age discrimination ! Been there done that! If not contact Dept. On Aging and ask about working again! You are young! Well nice talking to you and I hope you find something to keep you busy!

      • I would love to meet new people and just like you would like to play bingo and games, or just to get together for coffee or tea.

          • Hi everyone! Anyone in the Fayetteville, North Carolina area? I am isolated and lonely,looking to meet someone to at least visit with and talk to. I’m a 63 yr. old widow.

      • where do u live ..im up for coffee. i live in Carrollton. do u mind my 12 year old chihuahua?

      • Alice where do you live please…….i would love to meet people……..i just moved here to Helena ?

      • Hi Alice Collette!
        My name is also Collette. You may already know that your name means VICTORIOUS! You are going to overcome the situation that you’re in. Changes require getting out of our comfort zone.
        What City do you live in?

          • Hi Mary;
            do you ever come to Camarillo or Ventura?
            Would love to get together.
            Text me to 918-605-0404
            Ursula

          • Hi Ursula:

            I live near Pasadena in Sierra Madre. Do you come down to the LA area?

          • To Jacki Schomer — Thanks for responding.
            How could I get in touch with your sister in Camarillo?
            Please contact me … 918-605-0404
            email to “ursula.fiedler@gmail.com”

          • She said right now she is babysitting her granddaughters and is real busy. I’m sorry. I’d call you if I were in Camarillo. I am a recent widow (hate that word) and live near Houston.

        • To Ida —
          thanks for responding. No, I never come to Pasadena.
          But do you ever come out to Camarillo/Ventura?
          Are you from Germany? I grew up there.
          Text me to 918-605-0404

      • Hi Alice, I live in FL, am a widow & am lonely most of the time. I know my neighbors next door barely, and that’s it. No one to count on really, so I know how you feel. Loneliness can be an awful crutch to live by.

        • Hi, my name is Janet and I just moved to Austin TX. from upstate NY. I would love to meet some folks, as I know only my roommate. I am a retired teacher and rehabilitation counselor.

          • Hello.

            I saw your post on Nextdoor. I lived in Austin for many years and recently moved to San Antonio which is @ an hour south of Austin.
            I still travel to Austin fairly frequently. I am a 60 yr old single female, no children, and am semi-retired from work in the medical and public education fields. I am looking to meet new people. My email is lg51786@gmail.com.

          • Hi – well, I could introduce you to the places, groups here where you will be around people who like the same things you do whatever those are. Austin 30 years now; lived in Northeast in the 80s. First thing, every Thursday about noon you pick up the weekly paper, Austin Chronicle. Listings in culture, art, community especially get a person out mingling. Drive over to the East Side, Google farmers markets for days/hours open, esp. Boggy Creek Farm orJohnson’s Backyard, you drive out & buy your veg right where they grow it. Then stop in almost any barbecue joint. Brisket, specify the lean end, cole slaw & beans if UR into health.

            Good place to start, there is a great city-sponsored network of these places, like clubs, with many groups, games, all kinds of exercise, & it is for only 50+. The classes & meetings are M – F. Easygoing, all super nice people. Someone told me about it just this year. “Google Senior Activity Centers”. I go to the Lamar SAC, would have gone @ 50 if knew! I can take you there, also we can meet for coffee or at one of the good local eating places I know – Austin is becoming nationally known for food, besides high tech, live music. A lot of fun here, creativity all kinds. You have scored a top spot for living an interesting life, however you happened on Austin. Also we are really big on environment, turning old ‘junk’ into new whatever, organic gardening, volunteering, huge range of classes. So if you are @ all into making the world better you are already one of us. Majority here are from elsewhere as we have nearly 50,000 students at UT alone, many stay after college. You get into it just being out & about. Like, eventually I will teach cooking to college students. Have to since they keep asking me stuff @ the grocery store and really want this vital skill to use daily/lifelong. Why keep it to yourself? Tho’ no kids myself here are thousands of them like “At the house I share, all we have is celery salt.” Aaaaaack! Something UR into, you would pass along?

            Also miss Northeast accents! – lived in N’ Hampsha’ several years. The kindness of small town culture shaped by shared experiences such as winter (bet you don’t miss driving on black ice, either!).

            Don’t worry, in person I am basically an introvert & only on occasion so chatty. The internet brings it out, probably the sense of anonymity, like being on a plane by strangers.

        • Hi Nedra, I live in Florida too, I play bridge game and as well as any cards game too.
          If you like to learn play bridge, I am more than happy to help you to play or take lessen.
          Please e-mail me, mitziwfl@gmail.com

          • Live between Naples and Marco Is.Florida. Love to play Bridge, Euchre and other card games. driving is limited

          • Hi, Sherri
            My name is Debbie
            Where in south florida do you live? I live in delray beach and reaching out to say hello and maybe we can connect.

        • Where in Florida do you live? I live in Tampa. Hope you are close so we can meet someplace. Barbara Beall

        • Hi, Nedra
          I live in south florida, delray beach to be more specific. Where in florida do you live? I am divorced without kids and 57 years old. Lonely and without dog (which I want but can’t have right now). Home a lot but trying to get more balance in my life.

      • I agree. I would like to create a new circle of friends. I used to, but too many people went in diff directions.
        Im in South Florida. Im home most of the day. 61 yrs young.

        • I’m a busily retired nurse in Houston, TX. I’m a volunteer ESL teacher and I make quilts to donate to a retirement community. I love cooking, gardening and sewing. If it would help I am willing to be an email penpal with someone with similar (or different) interests. PM me for email address.
          Reply

        • Hi, Sherri
          I live in south florida, too and would love to meet for coffee sometime. I would like to create a new circle of friends, too. I am 57 and I live in Delray Beach. You can email me directly at djw22812@gmail.com. It’s a lot easier to connect than going through all these posts. That is, if you’re interested in connecting.

      • Hi Alice! I am not much of a game player. I am looking for someone to go to lunch and see “The Lion King”. Am a major movie buff, but don’t care for going alone. If you are interested let me know. Also there a group of Next door women who get together once a month for lunch. We go to a different restaurant each month. The next one is Thursday August 8th. It will be at Dan’s Clam Stand in Crystal River. You would be most welcome to attend. The time is 11:30 am. Hope to see you there.

        • Hi Puget Sound neighbors! I live in Bremerton, so I’m basically in the middle of all of you. Children are grown, and I lost my husband ten years ago. Spend a lot of time talking to my two boxer dogs and gardening. I love to travel and explore, I miss playing cribbage, and make some of the best coffee and baked goods you’ve ever tasted. Email me at.2bouncingboxers@gmail.com if you want to get together.

      • I don’t know where you live but I am in Minneapolis and I feel the same loneliness since retirement . I’d be happy to be a pen pal or social media friend.

        • Iris, I am Toni from NYC. Widowed with one friend left who works a few jobs. I am a retired teacher and having health issues right now that keep me home a lot.
          Maybe we could write on What’s App. It a free app – you can talk on it without giving put your number, too.
          Would you like to communicate? Love to.
          Hope you are well.
          All the best,
          Toni

        • I am in St. Paul and would be more than happy to meet in Minneapolis. Newly retired and bored beyond words.

          • Hi Gayle,
            I’ve been retired for a year and a half, divorced for three and a half, live West of Mpls., MN in Montrose. Looking for a life with a new girlfriend to share my life with. I love country music and ride a Harley when I get a chance.
            If anyone is interested call Kevin 763-221-5015.

        • I live in Edina,( but am definitely not a “cake-eater.) I’ve lived here about ten years. I love dogs (don’t have one:( ). I read a lot and play ponytail canasta. I don’t get out much anymore, mostly because I don’t drive anymore and use a walker. I see you’re in Minneapolis. I use Uber frequently. I think being retired and not from this area is a set-up for loneliness. Maybe we could connect for. . . whatever. I definitely drink coffee. Best way to reach me is probably e-mail. I’m at hcharynanne@yahoo.com.

      • I’m also lonely. I have severe back problems and am unable to walk very well. I would love to chat with some neighbors that I do not know yet.
        I have two beautiful dogs and they are my family.
        I live on Dickson Lane.
        Thank you

      • Hi Alice I am Beverly I love doing puzzles, cooking, window shopping, making earrings and walking, i retired early 4 years ago an I am finding that it can be a lonesome road.I am a black female that doesn;’t have any racial barriers I am open to friendships with all nationalities, Indian, white, mexican, black, ect.I think we can make an impact on each others lives if we give each other a fair chance.

        • Where in Texas?
          I live near Austin. Frequently feel isolated & alone especially since retirement. In reading your post seems we have much in common! Would very much enjoy meeting up with you. Messenger me or email at shae6304@gmail.com

        • Hi Beverly
          I’m Sat Prem. I am going through all of the posts looking for Houston and Texas people, are you in the area? I love what you have expressed……I also retired a few years ago and it is a lonesome road. And we all need community……

        • I’m glad that it’s going so well for you in Austin. I live in Cedar Park area, and I am drowning in loneliness here. My husband was a Veteran and died a couple of years ago. I am desperate alone. I never thought it would be this way. The little family that I do have live 3 hours away. On days when I am not feeling well, it can feel frightening.
          There are no kind connections around.

        • Hi Beverly
          What city/ are you in? I’m in Abilene, TX and since my divorce in 2017, I’ve been trying to find a gal-pal to hang out with.

      • HiAlice! I recently”discovered” a nee coffee shop in brentwood& want to checkbit out… how’d you like to mwet me there sometime?! It’s called,”deer creek coffee.”& is located wt The Boulevard( on brentwood boulevard actoss from The Galleria mall.

      • Alice, let me know if you are near North Highlands, CA because we formed a group of ladies who get together to eat and for area day activities that interest us.

      • Hullo, I’m Sheila LaShay Earl, disabled, know very few people, spend most time with myself, same stories I’ve heard over and over and over, new input desperately desired, please ?!?!?!

        • Hi Janet,i truly understand. It sounds like I’m in a similar situation except my son comes by for lunch M-F for about 15-20 minutes but not on week-ends. I’m going to be 76 this month but,i use a walker. Only go out to grocery store and i drive myself. It could be worse and it could but,the only one that calls me and talks maybe 5-10 minutes but,i miss interacting with people. My neighbors aren’t friendly either. I lost my last sibling (brother) last of 5/12,lost my husband 6/7/12,and lost my oldest son in New Bern,N.C., 6/28/12. It sure can get lonely. I live in Fort Wayne,IN. GOD BLESS YOU AND I HOPE YOU FIND SOMEONE IN YOUR AREA. DON’T GIVE UP!

      • I love games and cards, Alice, and I’m lonely sometimes too. Di you live in the Kingston Ny area?

      • Hi Alice, I think my original msg didn’t go thru. I am in Lake Mary, Fl. If you are in a nearby neighborhood, I wd love to meet you for chat and coffee.

      • Hi Alice my name is Leanne Parker and I live on Limestone Dr. I am starting a social group just for women to come together and talk, meet new people and make new friends. Contact me at sallycarrita@yahoo.com and let’s meet?

      • Same here! I have thought about reaching out, before; but I worry I might be taken advantage of. I wish you were in my neighborhood.

      • I would love to get together for coffee, chats and friendship. I am so lonely. I just moved to Alexandria. Bought a townhouse and am having a hard time adjusting to where I am living. My tel is 703 881-6091. I look forward to hearing from you. Kam

      • I am new to Alexandria Virginia. That sounds wonderful to me. I would love to make new friends. I’m feeling pretty isolated. My number is 703-881-6091

      • Good morning, Alice! Say…do you play Scrabble? It’s my favourite game, so I’m always looking for players. I live in Cohoes, on Strong Place.

      • Hello Alice, I’m Zedd. I’m interested in developing good friendships and life time aquantices. I have no idea where to start. I’m located in the Gainesville fl. Area. I’m early retired looking to change that status and also my introverted mindset.

        Good Opinions are appreciated.

        • Hi, Zedd
          I live in south florida, delray beach to be more specific. I am divorced without kids and 57 years old. Lonely and without dog (which I want but can’t have right now). Home a lot but trying to get more balance in my life. I can relate to what you said about trying to change your introverted mindset and wanting to develop good friendships (for a reason, a season, or a life time).

      • Are you local in Pauma Valley or Valley Center? I would love to get together to play cards or whatever.

      • Hi Alice,

        I moved to Aspen Glen – Indian Springs Boynton Beach January 2018 and always welcome to new friends for coffee, movies, theater, etc. Experienced realtor since 1993 assisting buyer and sellers throughout Palm Beach County, Florida

      • Young SAHM here with small kids 1-6 I would love to socialize with locals. I have a passion for fitness and family.

      • Hi Alice
        I would like to meet you one day for coffee, My name is Pam and spending time with others I really enjoy that. I too like games, cards and I would like to learn how to play dominos. Email me and join me for coffee Everyone needs more friends including me!!

      • Hi Alice Collette, I liked your message and would be happy just getting together for simple card game and coffee…Please PM me. Thank you.

      • I am now 59, partially disabled by chronic pain, which causes depression. I’ve had 6 operations in past 4 years and only have a few friends who check in in me for a few minutes every other day, which is nice
        However, I like to feed the birds and I keep record of the many different types of birds throughout the year. I am unable to work anymore, I haven’t any family of my own, so I feed the birds. Trouble is(not for me) but I have 2 neighbors who think feeding birds attract rats. I’ve never seen one here. Also, there are pigeons who come, which I don’t mind, but, of course, these 2 neighbors hate pigeons. What can I do? Put up a sign-No Pigeons Allowed!! sign…lol Because of physical issues I can’t work or do much and this depresses me. Keeping a record of different birds that come by and squirrels and pigeons are friendly AND clean. So, these neighbors now hate me, gossip about me and it’s sad that people can be so cruel. They’ve called the town at least 5 times about this(yes, 5 times). The inspector came and found no infractions. Why can’t people just” Mind their own business?”. All I do, besides feeding birds and gardening is Charity work. I’m focused on doing good deeds and have even donated blood platelets close to 50 times. I really miss the 1980’s, the Reagan years when people were more social, helpful and kind. Thanks to all for letting me vent. My name is Rich on Pittsburgh Ave. Be well to all!

        • Good morning, Rich! I’m sorry to read you have chronic pain, too. I know firsthand that it’s no fun at all. I’m lucky in that pain doesn’t depress me very often, but it can make me angry and snappy to people.

          If you ever feel the need to just vent, or to talk to another sufferer, my email is meffie2@yahoo.com.

        • Hi Rich,
          Keep feeding those birds, I’m up to 30 in my backyard. Those pigeons here are morning doves. They eat up everything so I chase them off. Same with the house finch, appropriately named because they eat like a house, never stop. Very smart bird. The mockingbird too, eat and chase the songbirds away. So I chase them away. Well for about an hour, I suppose the other 23 they are having a time. Call if you want to talk birds, especially the wily little hummingbird. 404 989 3636 (Atlanta but maybe not for long)

        • Hi Rich,
          I just now happened to open your post. I relate to a lot of what you have shared here. I live in Houston, what city are you in? I love birds. thanks for sharing

        • I deal with chronic pain and isolation. I think your facetious idea of a pigeon sign is great, it’s something I would absolutely do! at least 2 or 3 of them facing their houses. Concentrate on the awesome outdoor nature you seem to be very in tune with, rather than your sour neighbors. Rats really aren’t thrilled about bird food (unless your birds are carnivores). Pintrest has some great ideas for less mess bird/squirrel feeders. Depression is not to be ignored, for inspiration, encouragement and a place to make friends with people in similar situations as you The Mighty is a great site to check out.
          I have a semi tame squirrel named Frankie & his little family, a loud group of blue Jays, doves that coo in the evening, 2 (new to my yard) hummingbirds and my own murder of crows that will actually see me through my house window and start cawing like they are starving to death. Do you ever share your bird information with the Audubon society? They need observant people to share their observations in order to track migration patterns and population information on certain species.

          • My experience with rats has been a bit different; we have bird feeders in our back yard and the rats do like the bird food – I’ve seen them on the feeders if I go out late at night, and previous dogs we’ve had actually caught some that were on the feeders when they went out. (Of course, the rats also love our compost bin, so I don’t know if they’d go into our yard just for the bird food, but since it’s there…)

      • I notice that a lot of folks are talking about getting together w/o really knowing each other. I wish the article had included safety guidelines, such as not meeting in homes and meeting in groups until trusting relationships are established. I guess I’m the Debbie Downer in the group today!

      • Hi, Alice
        I am also feeling lonely and would love to meet and make new friends that I can do things with including games, coffee, movies, shopping, attending craft shows, etc. I don’t know where you live but perhaps we can feel less lonely by connecting.

      • Hi Alice my name is Maria. I live on Walnut Meadow Dr. I’ll be honest with you- if you have no reservations on my being gay please let me know and we could have coffee and chat. I’m going through a 7 1/2 year break-up and I work from home which makes my sadness worse!

        • So sorry but since I’m new to this I didn’t realize there was people from around the world! I though it was in my neighborhood! Please disregard if you’re not in Houston Tx.

      • looking 4 people in West Sacramento to meet, play cards, go places, invite to bingo if U R that person please reply I will send U my phone #

        • Hopefully my previous post reached you. My wife and I are in West Sac. Will be babysitting our grandson next two days. Leaving on Alaskan cruise soon. We stay pretty busy but always room for new friends.

          alancandee@yahoo.com

      • Dear Alice and others, count me in too, I am open to meet people and have coffee or dinner, games, cards, walking, etc. Let me know, I am in Porter Ranch, CAlifornia.

      • What should I do to find people to get together in outings to theater , movies, chats face to face , card games etc ? I’m in Miami and can’t see the reason for reading a lot about people dar away since I want the here and now relationships.

        There is a space called Meet up , but I don’t enjoy going alone … if urged , I may do it , but I’m sometimes involved in preparing my trips … I travel quite a bit

      • Alice, I have been plagued by back and leg problems long before I moved to This neighborhood. Hopefully very shortly here I’ll have a pain pump implanted. I would love to meet people and get involved with neighbored activities. I’d love to hook up with you, but I don’t know how to reach you! Thanks for speaking out! I live in Wynston Mill Subdivision in Collierville, TN.

    • I see nothing on this site regarding alone or & loneliness??? There were several attempts for game & card get together but that failed ..lunch a bunch would be great..but no effort or attempt has been made Sad!

      • Hi — I am in California — have started my own menopause group as a support group for women twice a month now and am seeing a lot posted too about summer bike ride meetups and such – wondering Nicky if maybe you too might go ahead and start something as well that is of interest to you an others??? It is not hard to do and I bet people wil respond — not sure what part of the country you are in???? Lonliness is awful and no one should ever ever have to feel of be lonely no!!! This is shy I love NEXTDOOR – at least here we seem to watch out for each other as we live pretty close and a few of us have started up some things to do — there are a lot of hings to do – I was just thinking that early this morn on my walk!!!! Feel free to write anytime — maybe we can think of some good ideas together???

        • I live in the San Fernando valley CA and I get lonely even though I am living in a place many people and we don’t talk to each other

          • Hi…i am mostly a shut in and get very lonely at times…would like to chat with someone or maybe have coffee…i live in San Jose, California…i am 72yrs old

          • Hi Barbara; I live in Ventura County;lonely too,;
            let me know if you (and anybody else:) would like to visit
            or start corresponding….. Ursula

          • Hi, Barbara Hanna,
            The San Fernando Valley is a nice place. I live in the western part of it, and have for the past 40 years. It’s full of people I don’t know. I don’t even know my neighbors anymore. The kids next door smile and wave, but that’s about it.
            I was scrolling down the page here, and it looked like everyone was east of the Mississippi. I’d almost given up finding a listing for Southern California, let alone the San Fernando Valley. So of course I had to reply!
            You are right; people don’t really talk with people anymore. The Internet/Web has taken so much away from meeting and communicating. The biggest loss I see is the face to face interaction of conversation. Real life is so much better than trying to read between the typed word lines for meaning that is communicated so much better and accurately when one can see one another. I still think that conversation in person is the fastest and best way to communicate.
            Anyway, just thought I’d say ‘hi’ and ramble on a bit. Perhaps, if interested, we can talk here, there, or somewhere.
            Stay cool, stay hydrated, and stay safe!

          • Hi you two in So Cal;
            I live not too far west of you, in Camarillo.
            Would love to meet you.
            Lonely here,,,,,,

          • Camarillo is a different world from Los Angeles. Dropping down the Conejo Grade from my end always puts me in a slower, more peaceful frame of mind. Some of the best strawberries I ever had were bought road-side in Camarillo.
            Life sometimes gets lonely, indeed. I retired from nursing (I’m an LVN) about 3 years ago, started volunteering here and there, and that’s helped a little. Not much opportunity to meet people with whom to converse, discuss, and interact in those venues. Everyone has a home and a family. I go home, alone, to read, to post on various social media, eat, and sleep.
            Camarillo is not that far from me. Perhaps we could meet at either end of the distance, or somewhere between, sometime, for a cup of coffee and a conversation.

          • Yes, I’d certainly like to meet people. Let me know the next time you get close to Camarillo
            or Ventura. And you are right, the strawberries are good; so is the cool ocean breeze :))
            Which city do you live in?

          • I live in Camarillo, Ventura County, CA.
            Would love to meet you all.
            Text me: 918-605-0404

          • Hello, Mary Matkins, I’m in Winnetka too. It seems there are a few of us who feel isolated and at times lonely in the San Fernando Valley. We could maybe take over a few tables at a Denny’s or some place we could actually see each other smile and feel the gentleness of a handshake.
            The big problem I see with this nationwide blog is that there is so much to sift through. My tailbone starts hurting about half way through each evening’s reading, and then I find only one or two out of a mailbox full of replies and posts. I’ll look for you in my Nextdoor locally and maybe we can bypass the massive mailings, if you so desire.
            Anyway, it is very nice to know that I’m not alone here in Winnetka, CA. Have a great weekend!
            Rick Wood

          • Hi Barbara
            For me I don’t want technology. I need one on one or one on two contact. I’m lonely and want conversation.

          • I am very lonely too, but I’m pretty sure nobody really gives a damn! Not even my roommate, her!! Oh well, sure would be nice to have coffee and lay down my dominoe!

          • I agree Barbara. I would love a technology group for seniors. I’m 70 years old and consider myself to be very tech savvy, yet when searching online all I can find is info on teaching technology to seniors. Seniors today are not the same as our parents generation.

            It’s true that technology has contributed to today’s isolation but at the same time it’s what has allowed all of us to be right here, connecting as we are.

        • Good morning, Carolyne! How are you? I think a menopause group is a great idea! I wish we lived closer…I’m on the other side of the country in Cohoes, NY. I’m the right age (53) but too far away. I guess I can talk electronically. Ha ha

      • Not sure where you live but I am from Keene nh and would love to have neighbors stop in to play card or board games or just a cup of coffee or even lunch.

      • VERY sad! Thanks for voicing this, I thought I was the only one who noticed. Last night I sent a request to the support team about adding a Chat feature. That way neighborhood folks can casually “drop in” and “hang out” virtually. They said they’ll pass it onto the higher ups and dev team. I am not sure if anyone is actually paying attention to user requests, but we’ll see.

      • I posted about being alone and lonely….I read some other posts, too. Where are you? It would be cool to meet for lunch or Scrabble. I’m in Cohoes, NY.

        • Good evening Beth Babb, When you get lonely and stay home alone all the time, Have you thought about going the visit the home for the elderly, the hospitals, the old folks home. Is there a senior citizens location where there is food served for a small fee and the company is great. Try it some time, you just might like it and lose all the boredom. Not only that there are others that would like to share thei experiences with you. I live in Victoria Texas and my wife and I dont have time to get bored. Share a smile with someone and you would be supprised that you will get it back.
          Let me hear from you when you get lonely.

      • Then, Nicki, you must be the engine that gets such a thing started. Don’t wait for someone else.

      • Hi Nicki I am available for lunch most days of the week as I do go out to lunch alone sometime, I go to Panera, Golden corral, Chili’s , Applebees, Texas Roadhouse, Coney Island. Qudoba’s, and other places that have soup and salad bars.

      • It’s very difficult to put it out there in a public forum in the hope that one won’t be judged as a loser- to be blunt. It’s just easier to make suggestions for get-togethers.

      • Nicki: Sad that no effort has been made to get a bunch together for lunch to feel safer! Well someone once said that: “To find friend, one must first be a friend”. Every project or group needs a leader to get it started and to keep it going! It takes work, lots of it to get people together to work on a mutual project that truly benefit each and every person in the group. So, to all, which of you is going to be that leader? since no one has attempted it, then that is your opening, You be the leader and be the one to reap the larger share of the reward for your selfless work to to get it going and make it work! You can be that leader. It is your great Idea so don’t wait for someone else to do it!

        I am 83 years old, a Male who is married for the third time, this time for 19 years the previous one for 25 1/2 years and the first one for 12 1/2 years. I have outlived the first two and don’t expect to outlive the third as she is 11 year younger than I and really keeps me busy. I retired at age 70 or 71, not sure of my Birthday or birth location nor exactly who my parents are! this has led to a great Hobby in retirement (this is not an advertisement) I have become very active in Genealogy work to unravel my life. so far I have a family tree with over 32,000 names in it. Ok I do know who my Grandparents are on both side and have it verified via DNA I think I know my Bio Mother and that checks out via DNA as well and is my life mother’s older Sister and I am sure that my Bio father is either my life Father or his older Brother, this also checks out via DNA but I have very little documentation on any of it and what I do have is contradictory, such as I have a Birth Certificate that was different from the name I had always used so while in the Army applying for a Security clearance this came to light and I had to have my name legally changed! that fixed that but Mom and Dad still would not talk about it nor my Older Brother who recently passed away My older Relatives while they were alive thought I was trying to smear the family name while all I was trying to do was learn the truth of the situation. People were very touchy about the whole thing. now my Certificate says I was born in 1936 yet I have another Govt. Document that tells me where I was living in 1935. well this is all enough to keep one busy at least 60 hours a week. In the process I have located other cousins adopted both in and out of the family on both sides. I found that a Girl I almost Married was actually about my 3rd or 4th cousin and our families had known one another for years! There is a lot more to it than that as I unravel the pat family history back hundreds of years. I am a Distant cousin of William Shakespeare, I am related by at least, cousin of all the Royal House of England since William the Conqueror who was my 26th Great Grandfather The Emperor Charlemagne was my 33rd Great Grandfather Neither of these were Direct male line but were only one line off. Now for the origin of my last name of Simmons which is my 21st Great Grandfather on my Direct male line. His name was Simon DeMontfort ( meaning Simon from Montfort in France very close to Paris. Long story, but he went to England to claim some property there (Leicester) he went to King Henry III and made his case which he eventually convinced the king of the validity of his claim and he fell in love with the Kings youngest Sister Eleanor. (Her Father King John who signed the Magna Carta had died) The King allowed the Marriage so they were married and it is a real tragic love story. You can read any one of several historical books about them. The name Simon morphed over time to Simmons.
        Well if anyone is interested in this great hobby that can also answer many of life’s questions I suggest it. I use Ancestry.com and Ancestry DNA it has various price levels depending on your needs. It is not Free but not expensive enough to break most banks. I consider it a great investment and use it every day. My mother and her brothers and Sisters were avid Genealogists as were one of my my Grand Fathers and his Father, my Great Grandfather, who came to America in 1854 was the start of it all. prior to his coming here he was a Butler for the household of Queen Victoria and my Great Grandmother was a Lady in Waiting for the Queen. Queen Victoria had a very keen interest in Genealogy as well. All of this gave me a great head start in my own work.

        If anyone is interested in learning, I am a good teacher, or so I am told, since I was a Technical instructor for 3-4 years. I spent my lifetime career in the field of technology, including all phases of the Computer industry starting in 1959 until Retirement in Nov. 2006, all for the same Company. My work included a stint as a Contract Engineer for NASA working on Project Mercury. Disclaimer: I only attended College for 3 months before dropping out to Enlist in the Army to attend RADAR Repair School. This school required an IQ of 120 Plus for consideration and then a batch of entrance Exams.The course was 33 week of intense training in all phases of Electronics including RADAR. I Graduated at the top of my class and then went to school to be an instructor. I taught for 2 years in the Army in the USA and Europe and then as a civilian I taught another year for the Army. I passed the MENSA Exam but did not join. (I am not a Joiner) I do love working on my Family tree almost every day and find it a great way to beat up on Depression since like many of you here also suffer from it and it is Caused from Chronic Pain which I also suffer in my left Leg, Ankle and Foot. The pain is neurological and very difficult to treat

        Enough for now. If you are interesrted in more or need help getting started, my Email is: newarlin@yahoo.com I correspond with many people, Relatives, that I have located VIA Ancestry.com and DNA.

        Please have a great Depression free Day and many more, just keep your mind very very active!

        Arlin Simmons Burlington County, New Jersey

    • I wonder if people in Sherwood Oaks would like to start a Neighborhood Watch group. It’s done by the police department. They come to the host’s house for several meetings and give a presentation.. i would be glad to host this and set up a day and time for the meeting. If interested, send me a private post.

      • Wow, some people here seem to have wonderful neighborhoods and ideas. My Nextdoor has good intentions, but just about every post with someone’s comment on something in the neighborhood or serious issues, etc gets bullied by the same group of “adults” every time. Not even worth posting anything because they come on with snarky remarks, insults, bullying. A few are “leaders” whatever that means. It’s very sad to know so many people in my neighborhood are just mean.
        I have to say when someone posts about fonts lost dog, those comments are very nice and helpful.

          • Hi Virginia, I was born in El Paso my mom passed away when I was 5 and my was 4, so my dad brought us to San Antonio. Have never been back to El Paso. Would you like to be a pen pal?

          • Me, too. Newly retired and very bored. Where are you located? I am in the St. Paul, MN area.

        • Hi everyone here, I live in Delaware it is so nice to meet people who enjoy the same things in life. Many people just don’t speak even though they walk pass me every day and I feel like wow they don’t even realize that I’m standing in front of them. Well I don’t drive and I’m feeling more isolated than I can imagine. Going to lunch with or a good movie Sometimes. I have to get a movie partner with a since of humor because I don’t like murder movies or horror movies, I don’t get out much so that’s hard to adapt in my area. I had one wrong person already and I’m out of money because of it.
          I’m sure there’s a good person here who is real and dear to, but I haven’t met yet. Thankful for the ability to make a trip to shop with an an errand so I’m not complaining, I just watched and I don’t have many friendly people around me. Everyone is losing their dog’s, and that says I’m not in a good area. So today I was wondering if maybe there’s some one else looking for somebody to laugh again and trust, and I found this so I’m heading in the right direction. So hi to everyone here we all share the same.

          • Maureen – not only do we see you here, we acknowledge you! I sincerely hope that you find someone near you to spend time with.

          • Maureen, I am so sorry that someone took advantage of you. I want you to know that there are still good people around.
            I live in SW Florida.

            I am disgusted to hear about bullies on Just Neighbors. I am fortunate that Just Neighbors in my area has a low tolerance for that.

            Maureen, I will bet there are people in your area that want company, too.

          • Hi Maureen, I live in North Wilmington. Sometimes I go to the Brandywine Town Center as the Regal movie theatre has $6 movies on Tuesdays. I’m retired and volunteer for an animal shelter. Where do you live in Delaware?

          • No way, I am so sorry. I am sure there are bullies, I recognize them for what they are. They instigate a debate and go on and on and on, and it gets real stupid. …And we feed into that. I have had some success in pointing out to my neighbors what’s going on and encouraging them to leave the “conversation”.

        • Good morning, Francine! Where are you? It would be cool to meet for coffee sometime. I’m in Cohoes, NY.

    • Not sure where to respond to the original post but I think it’s great to see folks reaching out in friendship. This blog needs to be somehow regionalized or “neighborhood-iced” so you can hear from people close enough to eventually reach out and get together with each other. I’m in Oakland CA and I’m seeing responses from all around the USA.

      • Hey, former Bay Area resident here. Lived in Oakland, Hayward, San Lorenzo, San Leandro…
        How’s the weather there these days? And is the BART fully 100% extended to OAK and SFO?

      • Good morning, Francesca! How are you? I’m on the other side of this beautiful country…..the cold side. I’m in Cohoes, NY. It’s summer here now, so I bet our weather is similar at the moment. Give me 2-3 months and I’ll be cold again. Ha ha

      • Once was a beautiful resident of California, I miss the community .
        Hi everyone there and I glad to say how are you’ll doing

      • I am in Concord, California. Great to see the responses. Let’s figure out how to regionalize a bit.
        Love the outpouring of responses!
        Be well everybody!!

    • Unfortunately I am a Vietnam veteran with a 100% disability rating from the VA for ptsd & depression, I have a loving and supportive wife who has taken the time to learn about my condition but there is nothing she can do when I’ve had a Vietnam nightmare & I go into “that dark place” where I completely isolate & seem to stare into oblivion.

      I hate when it happens because I feel it coming on, it’s like getting on a horrific roller coaster but I can’t get off, I feel terrible for my wife, I won’t answer the phone, open the door or shades, I sit in the darkness & rock back and forth not knowing what to say or do.

      I’m not unique, I know many veterans who experience the same thing, I’ve participated in many kinds of therapies at the VA, I’m on a load full of psychotropic medications & it makes me sick that they don’t seem to help…….enough said, my apologies for the downer post, this post was meant for Sarah Friar but I couldn’t find how to reply to her post. Blessings

      • Mac,
        I’m not a veteran but I also have PTSD and major depression, and have been in those dark places too.
        Even with a supportive spouse it can be an excruciating lonely path.
        Honestly, I rarely leave the house.
        I wish you health and friendship.

        • Hi Janet,i truly understand. It sounds like I’m in a similar situation except my son comes by for lunch M-F for about 15-20 minutes but not on week-ends. I’m going to be 76 this month but,i use a walker. Only go out to grocery store and i drive myself. It could be worse and it could but,the only one that calls me and talks maybe 5-10 minutes but,i miss interacting with people. My neighbors aren’t friendly either. I lost my last sibling (brother) last of 5/12,lost my husband 6/7/12,and lost my oldest son in New Bern,N.C., 6/28/12. It sure can get lonely. I live in Fort Wayne,IN. GOD BLESS YOU AND I HOPE YOU FIND SOMEONE IN YOUR AREA. DON’T GIVE UP!

      • Mac where do you live? Do you like horses, try volunteering at a horse rescue or go and hang out with horses They are very therapeutic. If you lived in san Diego you could come to my horse rescue…..Wish more veterans would take advantage of my place…or any place with horses….

      • Thank you for your service to us and our Country. I hear that service dogs are very beneficial try looking into that avenue

      • PLEASE GET HELP! Whatever it takes, find the thing that works for YOU! I recently read about an organization which consisted of Vets helping Vets. Many of the people there said that this worked for them, when other things didn’t, because the premise is that no one other that someone else who has been through what you have can understand. The other treatment that comes to mind is a specially trained PTSD Therapy Dog. I am not sure how you apply for one, but they do exist, & I believe are free to the person in need. There are SO MANY stories of people for whom these remarkable dogs have made an INCREDIBLE DIFFERENCE in their lives!
        I wish G-ds blessings on you, wish you a full & speedy recovery, and THANK YOU MOST SINCERELY for your service & your sacrifice. Please, please, do whatever it takes to help yourself be the best you can be! You deserve it, & your wife deserves it.

    • I absolutely love this! I think its a wonderful idea. I am stuck in a town where isolation is extreme. I call it ” Emptytown” because its always been very closed to people not from here- no matter what i try to do to engage. And i want desperately to move out of here but lots of bad luck has prevented that. I love being around people; so this has been very difficult to endure. Love this idea! Also love the idea of connecting older people with young people to learn technology. I worked at a job wherecthe decision was made to use Ipads. The young people at the the were phenomenol at helping me to learn how to use it in making sales, etc. . Isolation barriers and wrong perceptions can crumble in minutes with this interaction. Keep up the good work!!

    • I love it. Next door is doing a great part in uniting people and building community trust.
      God bless you.

    • Good afternoon my name is Rick – I would like to meet some people but I don’t know how to join. If you get this please reply

    • Stop typing and go door to door. Ask neighbors to meet for lunch sometime. If you have dogs, take them for walks and go to the park. Meeting people is not easy these days-as we have become far too dependent on computers!

      • My neighbors don’t open the door, even when it was my preschooler that forced me to knock on the door. She wanted to share her zinnia flowers with people. At least we made friends with one neighbor that way.

        Halloween also seems a time when people are more open to chatting with each other.

    • My husband is retired but with various vascular dementia issues, I am alone. Except for some sites with support comments from other caregivers or other web sites for various illnesses I have,
      where I’ve made friends with a few. They call this condition he’s dealing with “the long goodbye.” the person is physically living but emotionally disappearing day by day.

    • I don’t know but I think the jist of her comments is to TURN OFF the screens and actually hang out with people….something Nextdoor and social media in general don’t facilitate.

    • It depends on where you live I guess. Quite a few of the people on my next door are not friendly and feel it is only for business and nothing more sad to say

    • Id like you to come over sometime for coffee. Im disabled n dont drive but my husband goes to work every morning at 530

      • EdieHi Jana – I’m down the road from you in the county off 664 and just wanted to say Howdy. I’m 80, disabled, don’t drive and have no neighbors. I hope you see some other Ellis County, TX people here. Hope you have a good day!

      • looking 4 people in West Sacramento to meet, play cards, go places, invite to bingo if U R that person please reply I will send U my phone #

    • I also love Nextdoor & alwalys open to meeting new people & socializing & making new friends.

    • I live in Washington Twp. In NJ. My family is grown & I am alone much of the time. I have been wondering if there are activities in Park place, Washington Park that I could participate in. Even if just walking around the park. I am a native to the area, my neighborhood is very small, my original friends have passed on so it is lonely here. I am a retired nurse.

    • I am lonely and don’t get out much. I live with some of my children, but would really enjoy having friends that I could talk to and hang out with.

      • Hi Elise,
        I’m in the Houston area also. I’m going through and finding everyone I can that has shared they are in Houston or near the area to see if some of us can connect!

      • Hi Elise, I’m from Houston too. It’s a big city of busy people, but I’m just looking for someone to meet for coffee or a chat. Retired for awhile now and miss having people around. We could meet. What area of Houston?
        Lisa
        lisa@lisajohnsonart.com

    • I know it will help! We came from Amarillo and are retired military family, knowing the needs of our overseas military we started a letter writing campaign to these young people who are so away from home with no place to go, nothing to do, can’t buy anything bc they are literally sandbox troops of about 50 in a group so no PX or NEX with stuff unless it was dropped to them. Mailed every 60 to 90 days. So, we got with our neighborhood schools and had them send card Thanking them for making them feel safe and before Thanksgiving teachers especially art teachers and English teachers get their students to make cars while we mom put together homemade stuff, cook is, chex mix and small toys, comics from newspapers so they had something from America! They feel lost and we lose about 22 daily to suicide bc they feel like America has forgotten them. So this 8s a great lesson for our kids and adults not realizing some of these kids didn’t ever think they would wind up in such a country. I work with a Chaplain and some other resources to find out who needs what. They are so grateful. So there is one idea that would teach lessons while helping kids right out of school far from home! They took the cards we sent and made a Christmas tree inside their tent. Then, one commander emailed me he wasn’t asking for anything but colored rocks, names, bible verses, city names for a colorful serenity garden in Iraq as one girl had a colored rock sent to her by her mom that had been in her grandmother’s garden and she passed it around. When the commander found out I was the first to go to kindergarten classes and we sent3 boxes of Rick’s! They sent back pictures and I took them to the kids to see what an impact they made on these peoples daily life. Everything around them was brown. Now we are in Denton, I hope to start it again!! Bobbie

    • Do you know of any activities for widows in Mesa AZ? I lost my husband 15 months ago and I’m lost. We are originally from NJ. We moved here in 2014. My husband died in 2018. We never had the chance to meet friends as he was diagnosed with cancer 18 months later. If you know of any places I could go, I would appreciate it. Thank you.

    • I love this article. I enjoy bringing ppl 2gether as well. I will visit anyone if u want company. I’m in the Atlanta area. Contact me @queencecelia on Instagram OR send an email to queencecelia1@yahoo.com. I’d love to hear from u.

    • I am looking for a companion…someone i could talk to…play cards with…share laughs…just sitting on the porch watching the world go by…..i hope i will find someone who.shares the same…..im a female…age 61…..looking for male companion ?

    • Hi neighbors, Shannon from Nextdoor HQ here! it is so inspiring to see so many of you reaching out and expressing interest in meeting up in real life. While we love what is happening here in the comments of this blog, we wanted to remind everyone that this platform is the Nextdoor blog and is different from your neighborhood’s Nextdoor website. If you’d like to connect with neighbors who are in your local community, sign into your Nextdoor account and share a post with your nearby neighbors.

      If you are new to Nextdoor, welcome! We are so excited you’re here. We encourage you to create a free account and get to know the members of your local community. Get started at https://nextdoor.com/

    • Hi How do you post a comment on here? I wanted to tell someone I llive in the same place as them , there is no reply button under their comment. Thanks

    • Omg I love the idea of bringing neighbors together and sharing a good books, life experiences, recipes, or even sport comments. I think it’s a wonderful idea and look forward to meeting some more of my neighbors.

    • Hi , my name s Nissi , I moved from San Diego about 6 yrs ago , since then it s just been me and my dog , dad visits sometimes but I still feel isolated and alone here and specially now that mom has terminal cancer back home I feel even worse , I am a social person but it s hard to find people that u connect with , thank u .

    • I would love to join this!! I’m a single parent and all I do is work and do not have any adult friends. If anyone can see this please feel free to contact me at 832-312-4272. I’m as lonely as lonely gets. If that makes sense lol. Just to get out of the house would be a huge step with my depression. I will not bother you anymore with my problems so just let me know if anyone wants to get a coffee or just talk. Thanks for opening this up and hope to hear from someone. Thanks again!

    • I have a problem with the photo. Are you just inviting pretty young people who sit on the floor? What about us older people who sit on chairs (and tend to be very isolated)? I’m in NextDoor and most of the people there don’t look at all like your PR photo.

    • This is surety a great surprise to me. I thought that the Nextdoorneighbor was just for Twins’ Lake community in Federal Way,
      Only, and now I found out that it all the world!! Thanks so much. I stick with it no doubt. Thanks once again.

    • Well, I read all that was written and I like it a lot because of the atmosphere it provides. I’m neither alone (one is never truly alone!) nor lonely. Currently, I am a full-time caregiver for my wife who has COPD and is terminal. She also has hypothyroidism and the combination with COPD causes her to be immuno-compromised. She was given 2 years to live; however, she is going on her 3rd year and, for the most part, bedridden with the exception of going to doctors’ appointments, getting her hair done about 1/week, and infrequent family visits (2 of her 4 children live in Hickory and 2 others live in the Wilmington, NC area). We both would like to socialize; however, my wife tires easily. She has a lot of friends with whom she “talks” on her PC (tablet) but they live long distances from Hickory. I would like to have friends whom I can talk and share with on my PC and text with on my Android phone.

    • Would like to meet others for friendship and conversation and activities and events near Augusta Ga
      Diane

    • HELLO Christmas Neighbor’s,
      My name is Denise and my Husband Doug & I would like to foster a couple of Elderly people who are in need of repairs and grass mowing on a Bi-Weekly basis.
      Not offering free help b/c a lot of the elderly are proud American’s who unfortunatley don’t have family that live nearby. We are a Christian couple that want to help those in need in our community. Please let us know if you need assistance, we would be happy to help you out.

      Blessings,
      Douglas & Denise Mott ?‍♀️

    • Here goes’ I love the concept of finding some real genuine friends.
      So anyone wants the challenge ? I’m in T. Fla widower, looking forward on this journey of meeting u one day.

    • Me, as well. I have chronic pain, but only a handful of my “friends” contact me. Should I call them? Problem is, I am still getting off horrible meds.

    • Hi I’m Sheryl
      I justed moved too Waldorf in October and I have alot of medical problem and I don’t get out much.ButI sure wouldLike to make some friends,
      Thank you and God Bless!
      Sheryl

      • Dear Sheryl,
        Soooo Sorry to heat UR not up-to-par but
        I would like to be UR
        But
        I am in Columbus Oh,
        But we can text , talk on the ph,
        If that’s ok W Y …
        Let me know Sweetie,,?❗️

      • Dear Sheryl,
        Soooo Sorry to heat UR not up-to-par but
        I would like to be UR friend
        But
        I am in Columbus Oh,
        But we can text , talk on the ph,
        If that’s ok W Y …
        Let me know Sweetie,,?❗️

    • Carolyne, I agree. Where do you live. I am in Philadelphia. I’m the one who is always looking for the lost pets to return them to their owners or if abused, foster them into a new, loving forever home. Love my furbabies. My therapy dog recently passed away, she was my entire life. Depressed, this may be good for me. Take care.

  • I can appreciate your story and I’m grateful to you for your efforts. I really thought Nextdoor would make a difference for me here at Baytree. Unfortunately, it is nothing like what I was hoping for. I picked this Neighborhood because I thought it would be friendly to us, I figured I’d have absolutely NO problems making lots of friends here. The truth is this is a beautiful community, but if you’re not part of their click no one will talk to you. If a rumor is spread, you become the cockroaches of BT. No one really knows me here, not because I haven’t made a true effort, but because of their own prejudices. It’s gone as far as everyone clearing the pool when we go… it’s quite prehistoric to me. I come from a place where we all welcome EVERYONE! We bake a cake, make a dish, knock on the door and welcome them! There’s lots of venom being served here & I just don’t get it!????
    I need help, seriously, but, unfortunately it’s not something I’ll ever get from my neighbors, an unfortunate truth for me and for them. Baytree became a disappointment, so much so that I have thought about selling and moving (to a more friendly place) repeatedly. As you know, this is not an easy decision…. But…..
    End rant

    • Hi Lilly
      I know what you mean about people not being too friendly. I teach kids about the joy of sharing food and how it opens the door to communicating and making friends. I am working on my own circle of friends and making it larger. What vicinity is Baytree? I am unfamiliar. Drop me a note. I’d like to chat. Where did you move from?

      • I too feel left out and left behind. There used to be Welcome Wagons and Newcomer Clubs for new arrivals in a town or neighborhood but after working for over 30 years in Manhattan in NYC, this place is about as lonely as being alone in a big city

      • Hi Cally,
        It’s incredible how people are so different here. I grew up in NY, moved to FL after dad retired, then NC. BayTree is in the country in Harrells NC. The seclusion is a problem all by itself (nearest town is 20-30 minutes away), but to have such prejudice neighbors on top of it really takes the cake!

    • Sorry to hear of your plight.. If it makes you feel any better most communities are like the one that you describe. No one introduces themselves anymore and no one visits either. We are all engrossed in our phones precisely why we pay no attention to anything around us. Everyone, when they get home, lock their door. They suspect everyone that comes to their door. No one has a life anymore. No friends; no nothing. God help us all!

      • Very True Rocky. I been living in my neighborhood for almost 27 yrs and I only know a couple of my neighbors. A few decades ago people used put more attention who were their neighbors. But not any more!? But thanks to Nextdoor I had had the chance to meet some people because of what I posts or what the neighbors post on Nextdoor. I have met a really nice people thanks to this app. ??

      • Hi Debi,

        I feel your pain. I just signed up for Nextdoor today and reside in nearby Las Vegas. I feel isolated in the community. It was hard for me to find and carve out a niche after moving to the valley a few years ago so I started looking for alternatives. There are reasons for loneliness and my experience showed a uniqueness to my personality; how I set up my environment. I seek to create new experiences. I am interested in telling little parts of the story of loneliness, not the big picture. As a student at Full Sail Online I seek interested artists, amateurs, and professionals who have a story to tell. I would like to be part of creating stories for people in our community. Thank you for reaching out.

        Steve

        • Hi Steve! My name is Tamaria, Maria with a Ta in the front. My passion, and awesome gift, to create gets shuffled with countinuous spinal procedures, raising two of my, now teenage, grandkiddos, feeling as a fish out of water due to moving from a down-to-earth, folks visiting daily, evenings by the bonfire at the beach, and painting for business owners, friends, family, and all interested in “originals only”! City has run out of land, Katy, TX. Geese are seeking new rest places during their annual migration. What an exhilirating way, reading hours of folks’ stories and interests, to spend the wee hours of the mid-week morning! Please share some of your “little story”? From one artist to another ?…

          • Hi Tamaria!
            I am going through all the posts trying to find all the Houston area people to connect with and behold, you are in Katy! I’m in the Sugar Land area. If you feel like connecting, I would so enjoy………

      • I had a young neighbor girl she sick single and we use too talk I seen people. Going and coming so I left some chicken noodle soup in can and raviola with crackers drinks for her and her son everyday she talked to me if she’d see me now she keeps her blinds closed hurries in her house never said thanks for the items her door was even open when I left the items the boyfriend comes over she’s laughing with him but will take her son to the Grand parents before he comes I wasn’t being nosey just a day of not having to cook for her and her son

      • I have two people from here that are still in my life after the fire on Dupont rd and being there for me have remained in my life after. I don’t have a significant other and they do so I have a lot of time to myself. Maybe we all even though we don’t live near each other can find away in comforting each other, long distance friends.

    • I dont see anywhere to post something for my area but I am DEFINITELY consumed with loneliness and isolation. I wish I could find some support in the Henderson Nevada area. It seems futile. I find the people here very unfriendly.

      • I live in a mixed income neighborhood and I am a low income divorced senior woman. There have been discussions on Nextdoor about why we can’t get good quality businesses in the neighborhood, panhandlers, homeless people, etc. The blame always falls on the low income residents who are perceived to be low lifes. I feel insulted and respond explaining that there are many good low income people who are not criminals. I somewhat keep to myself but do get out in the community. However whenever I attend an community event, I feel like I don’t belong. To end on a positive note, I have connected with some people but I rarely see them. If they want to see me, they can contact me. I am tired of reaching out.

        • I’m sorry, Tracy. Classism is alive and well, unfortunately, and those who have it easy think that makes them better people. As if!!

          I thank you for telling your neighbors the truth they need to hear. For all I know, we are across the country from each other, but there are kindred spirits out there.

        • Tracy, I’m also a low-income senior having a similar situation. It amazes and dismays me how people are so quick to judge. There’s so much I want to say to them but then I think 1. They don’t want to hear it, 2. They’re too busy to listen, 3. They really don’t want to take the time to Understand – esp. if they can’t see how it would immediately benefit Them, and, 4. Sometimes I just don’t have the energy to fight or even try anymore, ya know? It seems that we live in a world that has somehow gone in the wrong direction when it comes to reaching out, caring, being open and compassionate. Mayb that’s why so many of us are lonely – even those surrounded with others. Then again, I’m just an Old Poor lady and whatdoIknow!?!

          • Hi Marshagail,. Life has been throwing me those same, heart wrenching hard balls. Going from single Mom of three, making six figures, and busy 24/7/365 to: bedridden nearly 3 1/2 yrs, botched neck surgery, my youngest filled with anger as he cared for his one year old nephew and me, age 12, homeschooling (kinda). Fourteen years of knowing who my real friends are, only knowing three of my nine grandkids, resentment, hatred, and no trust or respect from my only sister and my eldest and youngest! This idea of reaching out to each other and wanting to listen and be heard is so, so, necessary in our world of “Me”, compliments of social media. Share the KINDNESS!!! Thanks for getting some of that negative crud off of your mind. ? Smile today!

        • What town do you live in Tracy. Everyone needs to put what town they live in. That would let everyone know if they are close to reach out.

        • Hi I get that, same thing here. So I don’t drive and I’m just not feeling the same way. I’m embarrassed being disabled and dumped by my ex when I got worst I don’t want to date anyone else, friendship is better

        • Traci, It is easy to SEE how you Would become tired of”Being the one reaching OUT <<> IF there is very little..to no reaching back ? Is it because The People around there have been Robbed.. Been taken advantage of in some manner ( and so, have become leery of Any kinds of “”Friendship -Hand ” being pro-offered ?> I would Ask Myself That Question…before I would allow myself to believe There simply were No friendly people Around ! Maybe It takes A while…because THEY have Come to be Leery ???Due to Being miss Used..Taken wrong..etc.. Too many times in their Lives ? Friends ARE really All around. YOU Just Haven`t Met them YET..but that does NOT Mean..You Won`t !! Remember..Patience IS a virtue..And friends are just people you haven`t met YET > YOU WILL !!

      • I would love to get to know you I also live in Henderson. Send me a message. We moved from Salt Lake City last year and I have not gotten out to meet people. Coffee would be lovely Inga

        • James, this is such a sweet, thoughtful post. When I read it, it moved me and I wanted to respond & tell you how wonderful it is to know that someone cares enough to put themselves out there. Where are you?

          • Hi Anna
            I’m in the Houston area. I’m going through the posts to this point to see who is in the Houston metroplex area, I’m in Sugar Land. I’d love to hear from you. and I’ll play scrabble if being mediocre at the game is ok………
            let me know

      • Debi – I’m in Henderson as well. I’m very sorry that you feel isolated & lonely. I’m kind of busy w/work & family, but if you need someone to talk w/; you can hit me up. I’ve lived in Henderson for 25 yrs & have found most people to be nice & friendly – maybe it depends on the neighborhood ( age of people, kids, etc) & people’s work schedule? In any event, you can dm me if you’d like ….we can start out as “pen pals” & see where it goes!??

      • I’m experiencing same thing, in Drexel Hill, PA.

        Loneliness and depression are the national epidemic that the medical circles aren’t really addressing. To be fair, it’s a challenge to find “solutions” to emergent human situations. It can be described as a causality chain:

        The highly ethnically and culturally diverse nature of our country and neighborhoods, causes:

        Our mammalian Fear and Uncertainty instinct to spike, which in turn causes:

        People to “be wary of” and “stay away” from people who don’t look like them or behave exactly (or close enough) to expectations. This, in turn, causes:

        People who don’t have established friends/family circle, to be basically isolated, “left out” of the Human tribe. And of course, this causes:

        Loneliness, depression, anxiety, social isolation… all which (if left unchecked)… causes a host of negative (and sometimes fatal) mental and physiological problems.

        So here we are.

    • Lilly, someone famous (don’t know who) advised that when a circle of people excludes you that you build a bigger circle that includes them. Use Nextdoor.com to inquire about possible book clubs, bridge groups, camping groups, sewing groups, bowling teams (whatever your interests) in your area. If there aren’t any, then ask on Nextdoor.com who would be interested in joining yours! Best success.
      Connie

        • After reading all these comments, it seems like there are many of us who feel the same way. At least I don’t feel like I’m the only one with these issues now. I live in Southaven, MS and have been here 7 years. I have tried to find birding groups, meditation groups, etc. with no luck. The only neighbors I knew got transferred away and everyone else keeps to themself. So it’s pretty disheartening. I certainly hope my luck will change.

      • Connie …. I think you are referring to my favorite saying:. He drew a circle and shut me out. Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout. But Love and I had the wit to win! We drew a circle and took him in!

    • I have been in Vegas 14 months now and have tried to meet nice caring women on a couple dating sites but no luck. They post what they are looking for and when a person with the attributes respond never any replies. I am a Behavioral Psychologist for DOD at Nellis AFB and enjoy what I do and never had problems meeting people until I moved here. Just want to find people share coffee, a nice meal and check out some the sights. I lost my wife 5 years ago and have really been disappointed being back on the singles list.Mark

      • Mark I hear you. My background is NASA. I can’t find anyone who wants to spend time with a well-established professional woman who doesn’t hang out in bars. It’s awful.

      • It’s a complicated subject right Mark After being with one person for so long and start a new relationship with someone new is scary. I met someone too and got disappointed after a couple of years when he took out his real colors and for that I m thinking on staying by my self and not to get in any relationship with no one. But I now exactly what you saying. I wish you the best and always count with good friends and if someone gets in your way and think it’s someone you would like to try do it and give your self a chance. Everything comes when is the right time.

        • I completely agree I came to the point where I don’t even want to date anymore and I’m only 46

          • Well welcome to the club I m 50 and I m just not even thinking about that subject anymore. It’s just hard to find someone faithful. I just don’t like drama and I think by my self I m drama free lol.

        • Lemme just second this motion. I’ve been married twice, both times I had to leave because the other person clearly didn’t understand what Commitment and “Respecting Your Vows” means.

          Frankly after those incidents, random bad/pointless dates, and tons of research into the matter, it dawned on me that the institution of Marriage is technically obsolete anyway. So I just kinda shut down and not pursue “relationships” with anyone, because it seems kinda pointless anyway. The most I hope for now is a series of an agreeable, fun companions to maybe enjoy hobbies with as I go through Mid-Life Crisis and beyond. Having movie buddies and fellow nerds to kick it with, is still high on my priority list.

          I certainly hope you fare better than I ever did!

          • I agree with you, I have m.s. and my husband passed away. But many times people don’t understand. I like my dog better than people. She’s always happy to see me and unconditional love. Its better than being judged!

      • Welcome to the Island of Lonely men, Mark… I wish I could give you some hope, but it’s bad out there, brother.

      • Mark,~~~ Glad to see another Male on this long list of folks who want to meet and enjoy other folks. I’m a lonesome old duffer (76) who is having one hell of an hard time meeting new friends here in the North Miami area~~or anywhere else in Miami. I used to sit outside Panera on 123 & Biscayne Plaza , and chat with some ageable fellows who somehow disappeared over time. I am interested in Behavioral Science and have studied in many Universities. Perhaps we could communicate and share a laugh.

        • Barry, Well I’m not make but I am a 65 yr young senior who’s a bit lonely in Georgia – not a great place to be lonely! Lost my other a while back and am surprised how difficult it is to find interesting, lively people my age who still have a sense of humor!! Anyway, if you feel like making a new friend… let’s visit! @Marshagail417@gmail.com

        • Hi Barry, several states away! I’m 58 and quit trying to see through the games years ago. Does stink cuz I’m feeling these comments from honest, caring folks! So much for “prime years”. I haven’t completely thrown in the towel. I would like to meet someone kind, funny, and intelligent to create new memories with. Maybe some year?

          • Hello Marshagail. Time flies when learning of others’ lives. Am about to paint my dining room and kitchen (no enamel til next week. Gotta choose hardware with just the right touch of style + a little fun flare! Creating brings me to that awesome flow! Very cool that we’re beginning to visit. Enjoy your day

        • Wouldn’t be interesting to have local and regional and possibly national meetings get together. Just dreaming…. Let’s try for some local conversations/get together and go from there. Maybe even work on a specific project of interest.
          Reside in Rochester.NY area.

      • Hi Mark,
        I live in Henderson and liked your words and could relate to your words.
        Let’s talk about it over coffee, lunch?
        Would enjoy meeting with you.
        Barb

      • I’m in Texas, (Dallas area). I can relate. I’m single after long relationship. Awkward meeting people. Forgot how. Feel I’m not compatible cuz I’m old fashioned w/ strong morals & an Empath.
        Wished we were closer. I feel we would connect as friends right away. You seem kind and pleasant. That’s rare. ?

      • Definitely know how you feel moving to a new area, and not having someone to hang out with. I’m in that situation here in Abilene TX. I’m also in the Mental Health field, so have to be cautious meeting people in the local area, who potentially may one day be in your care. I was married for 23 years, until my husband decided that he wanted a divorce in 2017. I followed him throughout his civilian contractor jobs, moving from WA State, Portales, NM, and finally Abilene, TX, where I don’t have family or close friends to hang out with. Would like to visit Nevada to see the sights/entertainment/AFB.
        Celeste– cwutley@hotmail.com

    • So sad about this…people need to spread more love not hate. This is taught in the home. This is how the children learn to treat other by how their parents treat others qkae up people.

      • I agree. People are going to have to work harder to teach their children to welcome others in the real world, not just online.

      • I too would like conversation and coffee! I used to play cards all the time! Anyone near Hartford Wisconsin?

    • I’m so sorry for your troubles. I can’t even understand the mindset that you are describing. It is so wrong.

    • I’m so sorry lily. It’s the same for me & both my boys here in Georgia. I hate it for you! We hope to move soon. We have neighbors who have their out door security camera focused solely on our home. On us. 24/7. We can’t even use our pool without being filmed. They’ve threatened us with guns. And this? Is considered one of the best subdivision in this area. Imagine the worst?!? ?

      • Omg That is the worst!! I’m praying all goes well for your family and you find some Peace. I hope you could find a good friend.

      • That is called harassment. Get it all on your video for proof. You can contact your local police dept and have restraining order against them. I just saw a story about this very issue, very harassing neighbor, it went on for many months. Well I won’t go into their details. But fight back, just my opinion, not worth much.

        I live in GA too, in north GA and am ready to move even further out.

    • Where is your neighborhood, BayTree? I have a friend who moved to Melbourne, FL whose neighborhood is BayTree. She has also mentioned how hard it is to
      make new friends there. Perhaps I could introduce you, if you are near each other.

    • I find your article confusing, what is it about you that make people upon seeing you, leave a pool? Please do not mention the word “racism.” Enough is enough!

      If you were to move, what would you do differently in a new area to make friends?
      Maybe you are not using the right kind of effort in reaching out. People will not always be there for you. Reach out, maybe, to a group that needs your talents and empathy and forget about your needs.
      Realize that by giving your self to them, you will, therefore, find peace for yourself. Just a thought

      • I live in NC, ‘the south’ I’m from up north, I myself look Italian, but we are Hispanic and my grandchildren are much darker than I am. Imagine a place where when your grandchildren go into the pool , a mother shouts for her daughter to ‘GET OUT NOW!’ Because she thinks the color of her skin might change if she’s in the same pool? We are to dark for their own personal taste? An African American family recently MOVED OUT of here because of how they were treated and made to feel! I don’t. Know why you’re confused about, but unless you’re here, living what I’m living and walking in MY SHOES, don’t tell me not to mention racism!! Because it sure in heck does exist!

    • Hi Lilly,
      I feel your frustration! I wanted to offer a slightly different perspective along the lines of “be the change you want to see” – there’s a saying in NLP (neurolinguistic programming – it simply dissects how we take information in and how we relate to others) that if you want someone to change, then change what you do/say in yourself. Along those lines, I would encourage you to invite neighbors to a potluck or take advantage of National Night Out (Aug 6) to host a street party (community centers and homeowners associations often have budgets and resources for doing this). Or simply invite one of your neighbors to tea. 🙂

    • Lilly, I’m sorry to hear of how you’re being treated. It’s a shame and their loss. I bet there are others who feel the same and don’t have friends that you can reach out to and create your own group. Don’t give up, push back and stand your ground!

    • Wow unfortunately reading your story is like So many I’ve have read on here. Very sad what Society has come to. I live in Phoenix Arizona and when I bought my house in 2009 the houses on the sides of me were empty I waited for them to be bought and remodeled and sold and I was so excited when people moved in I did not overwhelm them I waited for them to say hello and I introduce myself and was very neighborly and inviting. Since then they waive if you call to speak to them they are cordial but there’s no invitation from them to come over for coffee they are not inviting.

      • Hi Laurie…read your comment about your disappointment regarding the lack of what used to be considered normal neighborly interaction. I too just encountered the same thing when I moved to Cordes Lakes from the Seattle area in March. Six neighbors watched to he moving van unload our stuff and not one person came over & welcomed us or even waived hello. I was told it’s because everyone here likes to keep to themselves and follow the doctrine of “live & let live”…sure not what I was expecting for such a small out of the way community. I am a very friendly, open & inclusive person & I have the tenacity of a badger so I won’t stop trying to find a friend to connect with. Maybe we could start as “pen pals”. Good luck & best regards to you.

    • Wow that sounds like a horrible place to live with the people acting that way. I’m 60 and live in Fort Bayou Apartments in Ocean Springs Ms. You would think people in apartments would all meet around the pool or have cookouts together. Not true here. I’ve met two of my neighbors but I’m retired and they are a lot younger and work. I would love to get to know everyone. Maybe have a cookout by the pool or something. I couldn’t afford to pay for everything myself but it would be nice if the apartment sponsored it.

    • Hi Lilly, whereabouts is Baytree? I’m in Forsyth GA. Sorry to hear your neighbors are not welcoming. If you’d like to chat or meet for coffee or tea pm me.

    • Hi Lilly, I don’t know where you live, but I’m in Bryan Texas. I am a service brat and moved a lot until my teens when we moved to Houston. I stayed for 14 years, and moved to Bryan. I felt at home here right away, the first week I went to Kroger for Italian sausage and they didn’t have any. The butcher told me I should try a small family store and then called to be sure they had some, and gave me detailed directions. I was just blown away. That’s an example of this community. I hope you find a supportive group soon. Regards Deneise

    • I know what U mean let’s go 4 coffee or Tea send me something by email I will send U my number let’s talk

    • Hi Lilly.
      I’m sorry to hear of your experience. Are you talking about Baytree in MB South Carolina? I moved here around 10 months ago and spend all my days and nights alone… it’s very depressing

      • I have been thinking about relocating to north M B south carol, looks like would be friendly place with ocean and pool?

      • Hello
        I’m in NC, about an hour from Wilmington NC. I’m sorry for the late reply, I had NO idea I started such a huge forum! Thanks to you and EVERYONE for reaching out!!!!!❤️

  • Recently I reached out in conversations with neighbors concerning rescuing our furry friends. My tendency is for cats. I have seven indoor cats of my own due mostly to rescue. I am just not the type to adopt. I an never part with them. They are all my companions.

    I also have two neighbors who have joined my mailing list. I will be at some point doing book signings on my new novel. I am hoping for more. I will add my links below for any who might be interest in a great read. Just trying to partner readers up with my novel ” White Bird, Book One: Among the Nez Perce”. It is at the publisher so no final announcement date yet.I think the final product will be here this year. Updates are always available on my sites. Here is my information.

  • I just want to thank you for our nextdoor app…I found a church that gets together every fri nite to play games ..I loved it …met some nice people…going to take a couple friends next fri and snacks …

  • erHi Sarah,

    Addressing the paranoia that consumes otherwise loving, caring people, and makes many suspicious of our neighbors,walking down our streets, it’s clear to me, it’s been a long, long time, since our Country, our States and our City, has had a President, a Senate and a Congress, We The People feel safe with! The loss of Honesty and Integrity has dissipated to almost nothing. Knowledge used to be Power. Money Trumps Power! Our Government is corrupt. The Hate Swamp that divides us is growing!
    This will take some time, but we need to find a Leader we Love and Trust, One who speaks the Truth!
    Once, “We The People” take care of this, Trust, Care and Loving, will be restored!
    SLG

    • You are definitely on the right path. But it isn’t just our government. We as a people need to push back & show our politicians that we can join together & set the example for them.

      • I live in Concord NC. Have been divorced for 10 years now and have very few friends and yes I am lonely and bored very often. I would love to meet people and make new friends…I am also some what of an introvert but would Love to be more open. I live in the Jackson Training School area. I am ready to get out, do things but not alone….

    • Stephen, I think you’ve hit upon something that’s a real factor these days. I believe our country is a meaner place these last few years and it’s coming from the top. I don’t want to get too specific or political, but it really does seem to me that suddenly a lot of mean-spirited people feel empowered to bring out the very worst in us. I’m a 74-year-old retired woman who’s had an interesting life so far. I’d love to find friends to play Scrabble with but I’m afraid of finding myself in a room with any of them.

      • Levels of violent crime in the U.S. were extremely low in 1962. Levels rose and peaked in 1993 but returned to 1962 levels of violent crime in 2017! Yes, today our society experiences very low levels of violent crime. Owing to our consumption of screen media, particularly cable tv, social media, violent video games, online maps that reveal sexual predators in our communities, etc., we do not believe, collectively, that it is safe to spend time out-of-doors. This is based on false beliefs. Go outside. Meet your neighbors. Let your children play outside. Check my assertions yourself. Be courageous.

        • I live in a neighborhood best described as sketchy, not really a place you just go meet your neighbors or spend much time outside. That’s why I have requested that anyone in Jacksonville Fla get in touch. Appreciated your comment though. Can certainly see it’s a great idea for those who can do it. Blessed be.

    • thanks for writing that, I think it is true, the eroding of human values and social civility is affecting us, I try to walk the fine line of integrity, compassion, and empowerment in the midst of it all, that seems to help me to feel more positive. best wishes

  • I think this is a great concept. As a recent retiree, I hope to meet others with whom I can socialize as well as the great recommendations I have already received. I have many interests, but because my husband is handicapped and prefers to stay at home, I find that there are times I am lonely. I hope to connect with others and I think this is a very good venue for trying different things- book club, movie club, knitting circle or just plain dining out with others. I hope it works!

    • Great article a article about getting to know your neighbors…starts with a simple Hello, I’m convinced that I have some of the best and most caring neighbors…it can all start with each one of us! Bayview, let’s show how we care!

      • I am a bit shy about knowing how to make the first move, but I admit to feeling lonely and isolated due to my husband’s predicament. He has made the choice that he wants to stay home- but that is not my choice. I need and crave people around me. I sing in 4 choruses, but there is little time to socialize at a 2 hour rehearsal. I tried playing pickleball, which I love, but I was 30 years older than the regular crew and I cannot run as fast, which is natural. I joined a book club, which is great because I am a great reader with a library of 7,000 books at home. If you have advice for me- I will gladly take heed.

        • Hi, Lilly, I’m sorry you’ve had such a bad experience. Sadly, some people are just not very nice. But there are a lot of people who are. I hope you will keep trying to make friends, for your sake as well as your children’s. Loneliness causes depression. If you can afford it, going to a counseIor or psychologist might give you a good opportunity to vent your frustrations. I wish you the best!

          • There’s no making friends with prejudice people. I don’t let them steal my joy or depress me.
            I vent my frustrations just fine, I do have my family and plenty of out of state friends. I’d rather do retail therapy hahahaha ???

        • Mikki, A friend posted on my neighborhood Nextdoor App that she was changing her lonely life andwould like to meet others who are lonely. Her post resulted in a group who get together every two weeks and she has changed life for herself and other women

          • Tried to leave a comment a few minutes ago but I couldn’t remember my password for Twitter.
            By any chance is your maiden name Thelma Robinson? I went to Clarksburg High School with a Thelma Robinson.
            My maiden name was Sondra Engwall.

          • Thelma, My brother and his wife live in Santa Cruz and are on Nextdoor. If you can give me your last name, I can send it and they will contact you on Nextdoor.

        • Hi I’m Ida, I live in southern California near Pasadena, in Sierra Madre.
          Love to meet for coffee and conversation. Please reach out!

  • Virtual isolation is a by-product of virtual immersion which I discuss in my book “Viirtual Immersion
    Drowns Holistic Development” Next door has the unique ability to create a platform from which we can step into our community when we organize events like block parties and neighborhood cleanups and happy hours under the big tree. I highly value my nice Neighbors when I see them, yet I am never surprised to go for a walk and see only dog walkers and landscapers. As a whole society we need to think about why our children and their parents are so connected to the small screen What are the promises that are so addictive compared to getting to know your neighbors and friendships based on proximity and community investment ? #Virtualimmerson

    • The flip side of that is that oh, wow internet communities can create more isolation, they also can help you connect to those who you have a common interest with, as opposed to just neighbors that may or may not support or share the same interest of what you do.

      • Katrina what you say rings true for me in that social media has got me in touch with family members and community friends I hadn’t been in contact with for years. I know there are lots of problems with social media, especially when it contributes to isolation, but for me it’s become somewhat the opposite. I have my family and friends back!

  • Thank you Sarah Friar for writing this article full of inspiration and hope to bring people together face to face.
    It is a sad reality that technology has brought us to a place of seclusion, loneliness, depression, lack of empathy and far too much judgement of each other.
    As a lead on Nextdoor, I have been blessed to see the other side. The guidelines that have been set for be helpful not hurtful, respect, language usage, no soap boxing, etc… has put Nextdoor in the forefront in many way. It is a very refreshing place to go for help and support of neighbors. Our community was rocked almost a year ago with the murders of Shanann, Celeste, Nico, and Bella Watts and Nextdoor was used to pull this community together. We also had a family who had the bread winner have a widow maker heart attack at Christmas time. I was able to use nextdoor and we as a community pulled together at the last hours before Christmas Eve and put things together for all their children. Everything was on the back porch for the family when they got home from the hospital. This kind of community service in a positive environment makes people feel loved, wanted, cared for and happy. I can give so many examples of the good things that come from Nextdoor. Building one friendship face to face at a time! Keep reaching out everyone. There are so many that need you.

    • Love the article! We find it difficult to connect with community because we’d don’t have interest in what the average person does in our neighborhood, such as Sports. We are professional musicians, artists, and writers. Arts is not supported enough in our community or neighbourhood. We do see some small amounts of growth. But overall all, economy does not support what we do so to find nurturing and supportive Communities we have to to use internet more often than not

      • I am new in the 7 Oaks neighborhood & Nextdoor connection after moving from Lakeside, CA (Eucalyptus Hills in East County), where I lived for over 36 years. During those years, I found much interesting companionship & friendship in the 3 creative writing classes I joined. I hope to continue them. I was disappointed not to find writing groups in the nearby Community Ctr. I’ve also had a several-decades’ interest in classical piano & I’ve offered a large collection of my music books (free) via Nextdoor 7 Oaks to anyone interested. I’m thinking of donating them to the library at the Community Ctr. I do find, though, that the wonderful technologies of the Internet help me keep in touch with the world in general. For example, I signed into Google Alert (free) for news of some other places I used to live &/or have had friends & relatives there that I care about. I’m also coping with a big hearing loss, which makes it difficult to make friends outside of these classes.

    • Kellie – it seems as if you’ve captured the true sense of being a good neighbor & are truly a nice, empathetic & caring individual.. on behalf of everyone; I offer a big “Thank You” for stepping up & helping these folks in their time of need. Those kind gestures are priceless.

    • Kellie, love that your neighborhood reached out and helped the family have a great Christmas. Reaching out to those in need and being there in times of crisis and rejoicing in celebration brings a community together feeling loved, sense of belonging and a part of family when theirs is far. I live in a community that is mixed with Active duty families, retirees, and young couples. I get homesick for family back in Gloucester, MA (love the beaches), settled in Clarksville, TN by Fort Campbell, KY after retiring from Army of 20 years. Certain circumstances beyond my control caused me to lose my job after 14yrs and lose grandkids and estranged two of my children. This spiraled me into depression for months isolating myself until my PCM set me up with a therapist which has helped me deal with my losses and break out of my shell one day at a time. It hasn’t been easy but I’m in a great job I love where I can help people and don’t feel alone and isolated. I also have my daughter home and doing great with her recovery of 6+ months. People are so quick to judge when they have no idea what that person is going through. Walk in their shoes and show them kindness and less prejudice. Thanks, done venting?.

  • I have tried to reach out to my community & ask for help. But I was told to stop begging. I was told that this isn’t a place for charity or sympathy. I feel so alone & bad because these are supposed to be my neighbors & as a community we are to look out for one another. But not my community. The one running the page seems to pick & choose which things are allowed to be posted especially when it comes to things like Go Fund Me Campains. I was told I couldn’t post my Go Fund Me to ask for help to bury my mom. But she allowed another campaign and it’s still active and it’s for a family trip.

    Where is the fairness in that?

    To this day my mom is in the city morgue and not buried because I can’t afford to bury her. I’m an only child & she was an only child. Her parents are deceased & she had no life insurance.

    • That is heartbreaking!!!!! I am so sorry you have had a negative experience. My heart goes out to you. Having been in the position of losing most of my family I have a lot of empathy for you.

  • I find that going to an senior center one or two times a week,helps me. I take the B.C. Office of Aging Mini bus,there and back home. Also,a woman from Faith In Action calls me about once a wk.and ask me how am i doing.If someone wants info.,let me know on nextdoor.

  • You need to check out Supplementary Angles of Community Services as well . We love partnering with other agencies in combatting this program and we have a new program where they can come meet and greet and take home their basic supplies. They can hang out, play table games and snack away; Isolation and loneliness is indeed a terrible thing. Did I mention they can bring their family members as well to help them feel comfortable? Yes they can. We are planning our Back to School fall/winter giveaway on August 4th and 12th from 11:00 am to 3:30 pm at 1710 Douglas Drive Golden Valley, MN 55422 especially for those taking care of grandchildren and we are going to have a Toys for Tots distribution for them too because they can’t afford to buy toys for their grand. It’s a wonderful thing to do and I enjoy it.

  • I feel and have said for many years social media is the downfall of my country. I have not joined Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. because of the name calling, insults, foul language, threats. Members seem to feel entitled to attack each other, hidden behind false names and zero accountability. Who needs it?????

    However, when I heard of Nextdoor, I joined immediately because of the helpful, neighborly atmosphere. I was fairly new to my neighborhood & the changes of the city I returned to after many years. I knew I’d need advice/recommendations on sources. For the most part I have been happy and satisfied.

    Lately, I’d say within the last month or two, things have drastically changed. I have continued to be friendly, noninsulting, polite and helpful. I am finding more and more members who are not. When I am insulted I first try to ignore it, then politely ask the rude responder to please refrain from insulting me or anyone else, and calmly explain the helpful/neighborly aspect of this site. Usually I am ignored, never has anyone come to my defense, and other members have actually chimed in “have a sense of humor”, “don’t be so sensitive”, or added more insults. I fail to see the humor in a stranger calling my age group (and therefore me) “naive & backwards”, having never met me, and basing it on another stranger’s comment, not mine, they didn’t agree with.

    • Karen – I too am appalled at how quickly these conversations disintegrate or go sideways so quickly! I cannot for the life of me understand how people can be so cruel, crude, ignorant, rude, racist & any other negative adjective you can think of to people they’ve never even met & have no idea who they are! These trolls are so harsh & quick to judge & jump to conclusions over innocent remarks. I just feel that the whole purpose of this site is to be supportive, helpful, empathetic… just oh, gee…Neighborly! Just be nice, positive & if someone is going thru a hard time (eg: lost pet) don’t heap guilt or criticism on them re: how the animal got loose; just be on lookout or help them find the poor thing! All the negativity & harsh criticism is so off-putting & anxiety provoking! On other hand, there are some Really nice people out there & on this app who fit the requirements or criteria of the purpose of this site! I wish you Blessings & Good Luck!

  • I feel alone the majority of the time, I’m sick and unable to work and I’m home by myself every day. I have no one to talk to, because everyone is too busy living their lives. This just happened to me 2 years ago and people have seem to forgotten that I was once thriving too.

      • It’s a big step to come forward and admit loneliness and needing others in your life. I was always okay being alone, entertaining myself. But when that time turns into being lonely it’s a different story. I know the NextDoor app is within the neighborhoods we designate. This blog confused me. Am I seeing messages from all over or within my designated neighborhood? I’m in Coral Springs, Florida. Are you near me Vernita?

        • Debbie, I think these comments are from all over, not from your neighborhood. People wanting to meet up need to mention their town and state.

          • Thanks Wendy. As O read thru this blog, you’re absolutely right. It goes to anyone that registers to receive it. To get a group started regarding this subject I’d have to post locally. I am going to give it a try. It does take a brave person to honestly say they’re lonely.

          • Anyone from San Jose, CA, USA I would like to meet and chat with. Lonely in California! Debra

    • Vernita…..I hope you find comfort with your local church members. It would be a good place no matter where you live to connect with. Often their is a “women’s club” at the church and you could join and find new friends.
      God bless…..

    • I’m sorry you feel that way, Vernita & that you’re going through such a difficult time. I hope your circumstances change soon.

    • I hope you find some interest you’re able to do and share with others. I know it’s really hard for some of us, like me! I’m shy and it seems easier to just stay home, but it’s not wise to let loneliness envelop you. I wish you all the best.

      • Hi, Patti! I’m alone all day, too…hell, I’m alone most of the time…so I’d enjoy chatting with you!

    • I know exactly how you feel. I deal with depression and anxiety and am also sick. I would love to have some one to chat with.

    • I’m so sorry Vernita that you are feeling this way. I don’t know where you live but I love phone conversations. Maybe we can connect. I live in Mississippi.

      • Hey Trish I live in MS.also would like to text and mabe meet for lunch or coffee. VERY Hard to meet friends I often feel lonely and depressed isolated in my house no family in state have lived in nice community neighborhood 19 years but neighbors wave and.speak at mailbox but busy with own lives have children they do and are just busy with own families I agree with others what happened to neighbor that knew ur name who u could realy count on but also they could realy count on u have to be a friend to have a friend it’s like people don’t even have time to begin a friendship these days and I’m old school would rather talk on the phone than text or online don’t trust it want to know who I am talking too yes I’m not very trusting how trusting can we be nowadays not being negative being real ending on positive note just got a new fur baby from rescue sun oh he has blessed my heart his name is ziggy he has helped my isolating and lonely feeling and depresion so that is a start u are 1st person I have seen that was from ms I don’t usually post on next door and have never blogged not into Facebook and not tec savy more kindle and old school

  • I agree 100%, there has been cases as recent as last week in a nearby neighborhood, that this person not only was using very rude words and antagonizing just about everyone. While I was reading one of her posts I could see that her last name changed right in front of my eyes, I kept reporting her on her profile, For us because all the curse words, and second because of fake name. I contacted Nextdoor Support, and nothing was done, it is frustrating!
    Why on earth didn’t the leads for that neighborhood closed the conversation? There are so many MIAs Leads , it is really a shame and the ones that are active,some of them, are biased. , Don’t get me wrong Nextdoor support staff has always been very helpful to me, I have no complaints in that sense, I realize that they are probably overloaded but they are really great! I wish that more neighbors would join Nextdoor!!!

  • Hi Lilly, I’m new to this area and Know no one, so if you’re interested in meeting we could go for coffee or lunch ?. If you like you can message me to get to know me if you like. Hope you have a great night

  • Why don’t we get a singles group for the lonely esp for the elders. It would be nice to meet others male and female to do things with. So 65 and up would be nice.

  • I moved to Austin three years ago. Although I know a lot of people I don’t feel like I have any really true friends that I can call each day or that they will call me and we will get together. It’s been a very hard Road. Many times I felt tempted to move back to the state I came from. But I keep trying and I refuse to give up.

    • I’m near 249 and N Houston Rosslyn. I have an appt I go to every 2 weeks over on Cypresswood. But I don’t have a car anymore, I have to use Uber, which I don’t like doing.

  • Thank you sharing this. I’m feeling a sense of loneliness and isolation since relocating to Yuba City after losing our home in the Camp Fire. I would love to connect with others through this app.

    • Kim,

      I live in West Sacramento with my wife. I can’t imagine the emptiness of losing your home. If you’d like to communicate, I’d welcome the conversation. Best to you…….Alan
      email: alancandee@yahoo.com

  • This is not new, I remember my mom telling me that the 8 years that she spent in the U.S. in the 60’s were the loneliest of her life and she never wanted to return and she was very social. She said people also move so often that they’re gone from your life. I gave up trying to have reunions w people I know because they just don’t commit and if they don’t show up, they don’t even bother cancelling. It’s like it’s all so informal. I am going to post getting together to play cards. My issue is my place is small. I can’t have many people over.

  • It’s comforting to read the many positive comments here.

    I joined this process somewhat reluctantly,( it’s a generational thing in that I’m what is termed as a digital immigrant vs native), but have found that it (you all) have served to breath new life and possibilities into my worldview(s).

    Thank you all and I hope that I may contribute a fraction of relevance and connectedness to others that this forum has afforded me. 🙂

    • Jennifer – I’m sorry that you’re going thru a difficult time & feel so lonely & isolated; believe me, you.are not alone! Just reading these few posts, I am taken aback @ how many people feel that same way & how pervasive these feelings are. Is there a church near by or an organization that you can join nearby? Maybe we should add what parts of the world we live in so that if someone else feels the same way & lives near us, they can reach out. (I’m in Henderson, NV). I hope you find what you’re looking for.

      • YES — anybody in Ventura County, CA,
        please contact me.
        Interested in socializing, coffee, games, walks, painting,
        movies, dinners, trips in the area……..seniors, please

      • Hello, I live in Rocklin. I have a hard time meeting people in this neighborhood. They have been very mean and rude since I moved in nine years ago. I had a little vintage trailer that I loved and I would take it out on the weekends and the neighbor would call the police every time. So my house sits empty much of the time well I’m traveling with my two goldendoodles. And then I leave for six months and go down to Morro Bay where I grew up. I hate where I live I hate the neighbors. I’m a loving friendly open person and they have made it so difficult I’m so unhappy and lonely in this house. I have a nice backyard with a lovely pool. I love my 29-year-old golden doodle’s and we end up spending so much time traveling just to stay away from this house and the neighbors. I can’t afford to move away I really feel trapped.

        • I am elderly and very hearing impaired. Now on a third set of hearing aids that aren’t working so I avoid using the phone and my understanding friends and family text to accommodate me.

        • Hello Joy: My wife and I live in West Sacramento, but we babysit our 2-year-old grandson every week in Citrus Heights, near Antelope and I-80. Would be happy to connect. Although our lives are quite busy, there is always room for new friends!

          email: alancandee@yahoo.com

  • Great article. I am retired and would like to connect with people who are interesting in walking for a couple of hours a day, and join a sewing group (quilts), or start or join a book club. I live in the Aptos/Watsonville area. Let us join together and en the loneliness plague. Thank you to everyone.
    Mary

  • Take the initiative at extendign your circle of friends. Since retiring, I almost always walk or bicycle instead of driving, so I find myself face to face with many more folks than when I was almost always driving. I make a point of smiling and saying hello to whomever I meet while walking and bicycling, and attempting to strike up a conversation if the moment doesn’t seem rushed. My list of friends is growing. I even ended up with a housemate.

    • I also bike and hike as my primary forms of exercise. Harvard researchers have provided four elements of activities that lay the foundation for creativity: Exercise, Unstructured Play, Music, and Numinous Activity (participation in an activity in which one feels a part of something larger than oneself). I trust that you tend to be a more creative person.

  • I spent a decade living in Europe. Upon returning to this area, I find it isolating and not welcoming. I appreciate and understand your article. In this “individualistic” area where people are glued to technology, It appears that there is little interest in community.

    • I lived in England for a year, mostly in London and people were so different. I hated moving back to California in 1982 and have regretted it ever since. I never did end up getting married so I would have been much better off marrying for a green card, certainly much happier.
      I’m so lonely in San Francisco’s Marina district. I would love to meet a few new friends. I’m still such a social person and I’m drawn to others. I’ve traveled extensively since I worked many years for a travel agency. Sadly, the last trip I took was to Italy in 2000 but I hope there are a couple of more in my future.??

  • I literally want to say — SEE I KNEW I WAS RIGHT!!! But really…..nobody would hear me — I’m just talking to myself. I dispise text messages—so much that I researched the backing of their reasons for being created to begin with.

    Fact
    Text was created for business end notes basically — it was for facts — and short brief ones at that. People literally date and have relate through something that is cold and unemotional — it’s not right — “humans were not meant to live this way” is what I have been saying…..to myself —

    Because my boyfriend —- who is long distance—wont talk on the phone —or my best friend or my mother — or co-workers — I literally don’t get it — what’s the big deal about talking on the phone?????? It’s to the point where I have decided to cut the feature off my plan and force people to have to call if they want to communicate with me — I’m done!

    Rachel

    • Bravo girl! I hate text messages when they’re in place of a phone call! A woman who I have known since I was 21 lives in Florida with her husband now. When we were both travel agents, we took cheap cruises together, laughed, got drunk, talked about boys and were all around best friends. When my Mum passed away last Tuesday, I sent her a message on FB begging her to call. Instead, I got this phony message of support on FB. She’s been like this for years but I’d hoped for something more at a time like this. I guess it’s time to remove her from my “friend” list since it’s clear that friendship died years ago and I don’t even know why.?

      • Hi Nancy, I don’t know if this is the case, regarding your friendship you describe, but I do know that not everyone prefers phone calls. I came to understand this after reading, “Please Understand Me,” which was one of the early books for the lay person about the Myers-Briggs Temperament Sorter. There is much information now available online. I understand your feelings, considering that you, “. . . begged her to call,” and she didn’t. However, again, sometimes I respond to a message days after having read it, and don’t really remember all that I read, and it can be easy for me, for whatever reason, to sometimes miss such a point; sometimes my focus is a different point. Perhaps you need some new friends who have a closer proximity to you, but will still consider keeping the old ones too. Certainly communication is a skill, and sometimes things are better expressed and heard through conversation, sometimes better through writing. They are different.

      • Sincere condolences for your loss. It’s extremely difficult. Blessed be. You will be in my thoughts and am sending you huge hug.

      • I agree – I’m in my 30s and I still don’t like texting – to the point that I have a “dumb” flip phone for phone calls and limit texts to only essential stuff. Everyone learns pretty quickly that if they want anything other than a quick exchange of facts with me, they’d better actually call, not text! (I like e-mails, mind you – but I can be as long and rambly as I like with those – like writing a letter from bygone eras. I just don’t write very quickly and I type so fast that e-mails work far better for me than written letters do.)

      • I am elderly and very hearing impaired. Now on a third set of hearing aids that aren’t working so I avoid using the phone and my understanding friends and family text to accommodate me.

        • Well, texting doesn’t work for me, but if you want to exchange e-mails with a much younger pen pal (I’m in my 30s), I’ve always enjoyed talking with people of older generations, and since one of my grandmas passed away in the last few years and the other has dementia, I’m missing having a grandma around to chat with. If you think you’d like to email back and forth, let me know.

        • Joyce, me too! I’m also deaf and wear bilateral, behind-the-ear hearing aids! I couldn’t hear on the phone at all until I got a new Clear Sounds mobile phone. I live in Texas and am eligible for a free (state-sponsored) amplified phone every five years. The first two were pretty worthless, but the third time has been the charm.

          Ask your audiologist if there are any free phones or other help (maybe support groups?) offered where you live. If you’re in Texas, PM me and I’ll give you all the info I have. Even if you’re not here, PM me and perhaps we can be email pen pals.

    • I did a similar thing… I don’t text much anymore, and I tell people “If you wanna connect with me, call me”… and now I have no friends.

      It’s fine… those apparently weren’t real friends anyway.

      • I find myself in something of an opposite situation – I’ve tried calling friends in the past, but I can never reach them. They’re always busy, or they never return my calls, or they can’t talk now because [name the excuse]. It’s worse with the ones I had in college – I attended a college many states away (MI) from my home (Auburn, WA) for various reasons, and the friends I had from there are in totally different time zones on the whole, plus being very busy. When I don’t have any idea of a good time to call someone, and I don’t like constantly leaving voicemails, I eventually give up trying.

        At this point I have one that I talk to maybe once a year (if I initiate the contact, she never remembers), another who we have to keep in touch with a blog platform as she’s absolutely swamped with family and life obligations (but she does try to stay in touch as much as she can manage), one who I would probably chat with more but she lives so low income that she can’t even get online very often, much less have any minutes to chat on the phone with), and that’s it. The rest I have lost over the years as the less I know about their current lives, the less I know what to say if we *do* have the chance to chat. (And having Asperger’s makes keeping up with people even harder.)

  • One is the loneliest number so let’s our gurl group together and paint the town red! Who’s with me ladies of Dallas Fort Worth!?

  • Blaine Wright, We were at White Bird, ID a few weeks ago. My husband is very interested in the Nez Perce (since childhood,) and we followed the Nez Perce trail, stopping at every historical marker and site through ID, Big Hole, MT, (Glacier too) where it conjoins the Lewis and Clark Trail. Please do publish your information. We would be very interested in your book. Maura Kelsea

  • What you say on here so true and that is a sad part about it. Growing up we live in a neighborhood where we watched out for one another and make sure we were all right and of course the only as a Time has gone by that has change. My next door neighbor that moved 5 months ago was the only one in my neighborhood that actually made an initiative like me to speak. He is someone I trusted in case something would happen but since he left I noticed everybody else around it’s not the same. I say that as I surfer a traumatic injury that has left me damage to the point where I still remain at home and even after two and a half months being here I have yet to have a neighbor come out to me and ring my doorbell or ask if I am okay. Sometimes you wish that wasn’t the case and that we could all learn or teach each other something new but with the way society is and the pace that it’s moving people tend to forget what face to face interaction really was. But overall the one benefit from next door that I can point out that I love about it is the fact that at least you can see activity going on in the community and make you aware of what you might be missing or in case there is some alerts or robberies going on.

  • I have been widowed for a year and a bit older than my neighbors.. In that time 3 have reached out to me but on the whole most look away, I have built up a support group but I feel people prefer not to get involved.

    • Shirley, I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been through and are still going through.
      I’m afraid I haven’t been lucky in love. The one guy I lived with in my in-law in the marina cheated on me here. I think that’s when I finally gave up.
      When I had shoulder surgery, none of my neighbors came by , even the ones I had babysat for years and did dog sitting for years and I loved and treated their dogs like my own. I feel as though it has to do with social status for me. While I am a college graduate in psychology and worked hard as a sales and account manager for the largest privately owned corporate travel agency in the city, something changed when I wanted to care for animals. Who knows?
      I only know I miss having a social life and a few good friends.?

    • Hi shirley–my heart goes out to you I lost my husband 7 yrs ago when I was 46. He was the absolute love of my life and I thank God for him every day.

      I have continously looked for a widow/widowers support group in my area (Pittsburgh) to no avail. But they exist–please keep looking in your area. I think being with people who understand your heartache goes a long way to help with loneliness.

      Some of our friends disappeared which I never would have believed if I hadn’t experienced it. Other people act like death is ‘catchy’; or they become uncomfortable when all you want to be able to do is talk and share stories on occasion.

      Please know your not alone.

  • Count me in. I’ve had a TOUGH & LONELY adjustment. I’d live to meet some people that are just kind & friendly, no agenda. I hate how sinacle we’ve become! Kindness is free and a gift in itself. We should be throwing it around like confetti. Isn’t that what we want our children to see?

    • I love your comment about the confetti! I’m at a low point right now and that just brought tears to my eyes. If you don’t already write, you should consider trying. I love to write and that expression touched my soul.??

      • My wife and I are in Sacramento. I was in Berkeley last week and spent time with many from East Bay and San Francisco during the past month. Overwhelming belief that SF is no longer the City of my childhood. (I was born there in 1956.) Oakland seems to be the place my friends love best. Perhaps a different location, if feasible, is worthy of consideration. Priorities are important. When I wanted to marry my wife in 1982, I decided to quit my job in Livermore and move closer to the woman I loved to prove myself. We are now married 35 years! Write me if you are so inclined:
        alancandee@yahoo.com

    • Your advice would certainly make this a better world, Nadia. I am not near you on the map but will try to hold your advice in the front of my mind. Thank you.

  • I am also in! I would love to meet new people , people in my neighborhood and community and start new friendships. I’m a single mom and meeting people is very difficult. I would love the opportunity

    • I am lonely to. I like to play scrabble go for walks and I used to love to knit crochet and sew as well.

  • I know how it is to feel like a shut in . I lost my wife of 18 years January 29th of this year. I dont know a lot of people. But would love to meet some single women looking for friendship and posdible relationship. I dont get out much because i have no desire to since i dont know that many people.im 55 years old and on disability. So i have a very limited income on top of it. So i just set at home with my cat and watch the 4 walls close in.

    • Joseph: I found this long ‘website’ by accident, & have been reading these notes. I have no idea what state you are in; I’m in California, and much older than you. I’m now 76. And I tended to be a loner but I’ve figured out some ways to deal with this. First, I joined a fitness center & I exercise five days a week, for about two hours at a time. As a result, I get to interact with other people in the fitness center, to an extent. Then, I joined a church (Good Shepherd Lutheran, here in Sacramento, CA, in Arden Arcade). As a result, I’ve met people thru the church. Another thing I did was go on a singles website (over two years ago!) called SeniorPeopleMeet.com. And I lucked out. I found a wonderful man who has his own house not too far from mine, and we see each other a few times each week, just to do stuff together. Nothing fancy, just maybe dinner, going thrift shopping, etc. But we’ve ‘been together’ for two years, & it seems to be working. Another way to meet people might be to do some volunteer work. I’ve done that in the past, and met some really nice people. And you mentioned a cat. Most animal shelters can always use volunteers to work with animals. I too, am a cat lover. I have a rescue kitty. I do hope that you might consider, and try, some of my suggestions – joining a fitness center (lots of seniors are in fitness centers!); join a church (find one that you feel good about!); find some place to volunteer – doing something that you like; and maybe go on NextDoor.com and see if you can find a group who like to go walking each day; I hope that you will try some of these suggestions and keep an optimistic attitude. I’ve done all of these things & it has definitely helped me. Iw as divorced for a long time, by myself, until I started getting involved – like the fitness center; and the church. Now, I’ve even become a ‘chicken farmer’ – taking care of six little girls who are strictly rescues, they will never be on anyone’s plate for dinner! Good luck, & remember: ‘keep the faith!’

      • Love your offerings here. Am also in Sacramento area with my wife, kids, and grandkids. We provide daycare to our 2-year-old grandson each week, for which I am exceptionally grateful. Write me if you are so inclined:
        alancandee@yahoo.com

  • I have anxiety and depression I’m very lonely sometimes I lost my mom and dad and we’ll my sister is in another state so I’m basically alone lonely all the time

    • Joy: I’ve been reading a lot of these comments; I’m sorry that you are alone so much. But – you can maybe ‘fix’ some of that. I have no idea what state you are in, or your age. But here are some suggestions you might try: find some place to volunteer – maybe an animal shelter, or a large charity that helps homeless people, etc. Find a church that you feel comfortable with, and maybe get involved with some of their programs. Consider going back to school to take a class (none of us are ever to old to be taking classes & learning something new!); find an inexpensive fitness center (yes, they exist!) and join, and exercise a few days each week. The exercise will truly make you feel better. I know, I exercise five days a week for two hours at a time (and I’m 76!). Maybe find a senior place where you can volunteer to be around seniors (whether you’re a senior or not. Consider some kind of part time job, doing something that you like; and – depending on hour age – you might want to find singles website & check it out. I got involved with seniorpeoplemeet.com a couple of years ago, & found a wonderful man whom I now share some time with. We do not live together, but I see him fairly often. Again, consider doing some kind of volunteer work; there are undoubtedly lots of places, wherever you live, who could use some help. Keep the faith . . .

    • I have anxiety and depression too.
      My mom passed away last January. I take care of my dad he is 81. My husband divorced me last June after 22 years of marriage. He took a girl and my son and moved to TN. I live in SC.
      I have 2 brothers who live away, never call. I’m not lonely. I am busy!
      If you want to talk, i’m here.

      • Hi Lisa, you sound like a smart, optimistic woman; I like your E-mail. I just found this website a while back, & then ‘lost’ it again since I had it under my ‘favorites’ on my computer, & I’m not good on a computer, but I just found it again tonight, at this ungodly hour (it’s after 4 .AM here in CA) & I’m heading for bed. I’ve been Hi Lisa: I was struggling with my computer & found this page, & your ‘note’ so thought I would make a few comments. I’m Karen, 77, retired of course, living by myself, & I do some volunteer work here in Sacramento. I keep busy, because I also exercise two hours each day (five days a week) at a close by fitness center. And I’m a cat lover & live with two rescued kitties – who are totally spoiled. And with that, I’ll say good night; glad you put this ‘note’ in here; restores my faith in the older generation, of which I’m part – hope you’re being busy & content where you live – Sunshine ‘N Smiles from California – Karen

  • I live in Albuquerque, NM. I’ve been living here for about 4 years, and still no friends. My neighbors were very adamant though to have me stay here when I informed them of my intention to move my son and I to Texas this past June. They all helped me find a place to live (my son and I had been homeless since January), and a bunch of them hired me to work on their yards and gardens. It was a wonderful and humbling experience to think so many people cared for my son and I. As blessed and thankful as I am, I still feel lonely. I don’t have social interaction with any of them, even after putting putting myself out there multiple times. They are all lovely people. It just seems that they’re too busy with their lives to bring a new person into their group. I don’t complain or argue. I’m ecstatic that my son is having an opposite experience! He has more friends now than I’ve had in my whole life! The loneliness eats at me though, and I’m becoming a bit of a recluse. It’s depressing, but I’m learning to live with it. I just hope that there are people out there on the world who acknowledge the loners in their neighborhood, and make it a point to befriend them and include them in their group. Thank you so much for this article. It’s a good reminder to check in on your fellow neighbors from time to time ?

    • Jennifer: I’m glad that your neighbors have helped you out but I can understand your lonliness also. Here are some suggestions: find a church that you like, and get involved; find a fitness center & start exercising several days a week. This will be good for your physical health as well as your mental health; maybe find a place where you can do some volunteer work – an animal shelter; a homeless shelter; a childrens’ receiving home; consider taking maybe one class at school, learning something new; maybe even a part time job, doing something that you like doing – cooking, an ice cream place, maybe working with kids at a local school, etc. maybe even some sort of volunteer work wherever your son goes to school. And there are singles websites where you can meet people; you might check into some of those . . .but do be careful there. Keep the faith, & put yourself ‘out’ there!

    • Since retiring 7 years ago, I am lacking the time to accomplish many of my goals. I started a non-profit, babysit my 2-year-old grandson each week, provide music and storytelling sessions at libraries and schools, and participate in a County program in which 57 individuals share our personal stories of living with mental illness to the community. That said, my closest friends are my immediate family—others are just valued acquaintances.

      My cousins just moved from Albuquerque a couple of months ago and miss it dearly. Another friend has happily lived in Bernallilo for 30 thirty years. I wish I had another life to live to fill it up with all the activities I long to pursue. Best of luck. Write to me if you are so inclined. My wife and I are in Sacramento, CA.
      alancandee@yahoo.com

  • Good evening Everyone!
    I am happy that people feel comfortable to talk about feeling lonely. I just joined the neighborhood and wonder what steps of action have been taken towards creating community like so many people crave?
    We need to set goals and start working towards them.
    Where can we meet?
    How often can we meet?
    What activities should we plan?
    Talking and expressing our needs is great, but without action people will soon find themselves where they started.
    What social groups are available at Dessert Shores?
    Bible studies
    Book clubs
    Cooking classes ( I am beyond help when it comes to cooking!)
    I love doing diy projects
    I am sure everyone has ideas.
    Let’s plan a get together and see what direction this will take us!

  • This is 99% of my problem here. I am single and all the few friends I had are gone now. I have given up trying to find a good wife and because I have a dysfunctional family and being an adult make things nearly impossible to be happy. And being over 60 years here, I feel like a stranger in my own community. this town has gone down hill quite a bit since then. Since we lost the clubhouse, the post office, library, saloon, railroad, and the carnival and parade and fireworks as the sheriff ran the operator out since he did not have a license to operate in 1961.That was the last year for it. Of course we did add a second school site and later a gym, because the school did not have any indoor place for the Christmas play and graduation between the loss of use of the clubhouse and before the new gym was built. We did not have a public meeting place for quite a while. Lots of new people have moved in but they do not seem very friendly and crime is on the increase as it pertains to mail theft. The old kiosk that was built behind the former clubhouse got broken into I think twice, so it was relocated where it is now. 25-30 year ago someone came around and smashed rural mailboxes, so we made ours out of channel iron and have not had that trouble since.
    Where I am relocating the small community is way more rural than it is here and there has not been that kind of trouble to my knowledge. That small community has a few public events a year and a small clubhouse to meet in and I believe they have a monthly newsletter. Now days hardly anybody knows their neighbor around here. Time for me to move on.

    • Audrey, I can relate to your feelings. I think they coined the term “dysfunctional” based on the family I was born in. I am a senior now, with no relatives left. We have lost our post office, police department, hospitals, library, senior center, grocery stores, the mall, and thousands of homes, buildings and structures in Hurricane Michael. Although that was last year, things are not “normal” here yet. I am thankful that I have water, sewer, electricity, phone service and a roof now, but crime has increased, population has decreased and the things I yearn for most are good friends and good neighbors.

  • That’s exactly what I was thinking, single, empty nester here, I’d love to have a nice group of friends, to get together and talk, walk, laugh, play games, explore San Francisco, California for starters

  • I’ve been seeking extra companions for years now…it can be tough to meet new people here in Western Alaska. Any homies reading this I’m near the great ice flat forest and usually fishing there a few days a week. I’d love to get a milkshake with ya sometime and talk about fishing and life.

  • Social media its self is one of the reasons for social isolation. People are more intrestrd on likes, and thumbs up, SELFIES….. how many online friends they have, how many followers. Bussy posting dinner pics. Just ignoring life the world and people.

  • There are some wonderful replies on here and I could say so much after reading some of them but I will just say “God bless each of you.”

  • Mark I hear you. My background is NASA. I can’t find anyone who wants to spend time with a well-established professional woman who doesn’t hang out in bars. It’s awful.

    • I am a huge NASA supporter, an unabashed fan of Neil DeGrasse Tyson, and a lover of all things science and astronomy/astrophysics. And I never liked bars ? If you lived in the Philadelphia Area, I would have loved to have a real live human conversation/interaction.

      This is why the NextDoor developers need to add a Chat Room feature.

  • Yes, since my husband passed away on July 21, 2018. It has been the loneliest time of my life. I would like to do this too, However, I do not drink, I don’t smoke, and I don’t hang with people that do that and worse. I do not very many people in my community due to I used to work a lot before I was laid off and never had time for socializing. My husband and I joined some group together with a church out here, it was nice sort of. That is about it. Out here in the country there isn’t that much to do except Sundays, and Saturdays everyone is busy tending to their lawns, or running all their errands. I don’t like social media.

  • I also moved out of one area to another recently losing my husband. Nothing has changed since man put soup in a can. ? Loneliness is still there if it weren’t for the existing small family I have left. Friendliness in neighborhoods seems to have diminished.
    Music use to bring people together and I find that not a lot of people like to get together to play music or even sing karaoke. Being a people person I do miss being with the human race. I am always the first to say hello to people in my neighborhood. They move about doing their own thing so I guess this is the way life is now.
    One great thing about social media if I advertise something for sale and then meet people I find that my experience has been great meeting some nice people but it is for a moment only.
    Yes loneliness exists in so many ways. I didn’t grow up this way. So social media is the replacement for face to face or even a real telephone call. So sad. Maybe one day we will all have to look at each other’s faces without a screen and actually speak with each other in kindness and compassion. That would be a cure for loneliness.

    • I hate to be the one to say it, but I think our generation will be the last one that places high value on physical, human, IRL interactions. Society will devolve for many generations, before a drastic event (War? Asteroid? Singularity? Jesus 2nd Coming?) causes us to revert back to real communities and interactions.

      You and I will be long gone by then, though…

    • I’m sorry you lost your husband, Sherry. You must miss him every day. I’m home alone all day and I get very lonely and bored. I’d love to get together for some coffee or some Scrabble if you’re anywhere near Cohoes, NY.

  • Hi Sarah, Thank you for your moving article. I’ve been an extremely social person my entire life but, circumstances beyond my control have left me feeling so lonely. I lost my Mom last week and had no one close to call to come and hold my hand. Ive lived in the same in-law for 31 years and my cat is my best friend. I do have friends but they’re spread out around the world. With my landlord in home hospice care, I’m overwhelmed facing all of the legal hoops I must jump through on my own. When around others, my old outgoing, friendly and loving personality shines. I’d just like the opportunity to meet a new friend or two.??

  • I live with my girlfriend but we really don’t spend a lot of time together. She watches TV in her bedroom and I watch TV in the living room. She has no interest in doing anything except going to dinner on weekends. I would like to find a social group in my area to meet new people for activities, example would be nature walks, movies, things like that. I am very lonely even though I share a home with her.
    I have friends but don’t always spend time with them. My kids and grandkids live in another state, and its hard to visit them, I would really like to move closer to them but my finances don’t always allow me to visit them. Any advice would be helpful.

    • Ron, I understand how you feel. It’s hard, as we get older, to make the first move towards meeting new people. If you have a senior center nearby, perhaps you could volunteer. Or, maybe volunteer at your local Salvation Army or other charity organization. I’m sure you have skills that would be helpful and it’s a good way to meet new people. Getting out and meeting new people is the first step to finding someone to share walks, movies, coffee with. And what better way to meet people than getting involved with giving back to your community. Good luck to you.

  • I always like meeting new people. I own a paint companie and there are a lot of nice people out there if anyone needs a friend let me know I will be that for you

  • We need to have another part to this web site so that we can also talk to those who live near us. I am reading heart warming letters from many who would love to go to lunch or play game etc, but that does not work well when we live miles from each other. As we age our friends pass away and also move away and we are left alone. We need friends and we need friends who live in our area so we can get together and get to know each other. This can be a live line to many. Do I hear anyone else comment on this?

    • I’ve sent them an email asking them to add a Chat feature, so neighbors can “drop in” and “hang out” virtually, making it MUCH easier to set up social events. Much easier to make actual IRL human connections.

      Maybe if more people request this feature, they’ll put add it.

      Would you be willing to sign a petition?

    • Hi, Claire
      My name is Rosanna.
      I totally agree with you. I have been going down the list, reading what people are sharing and thinking the exact same thing as you.
      If we have to sit in front of our computers to keep in touch with each other then we are back to square one. We need to know if there is anyone near us to actually do things together.
      I immigrated to the US in 1990. I have been working since day one and am still working. I am very friendly and have good relationship with most of the people I work with but I only have two best friends and one of them lives 27 miles away from me. I live in San Fernando valley and L.A. is so spread that after working a full day people mostly do not have the energy to get behind the wheel and drive somewhere for entertainment.
      On a différent note, I have been studying French for some time and I was wondering if there is anyone that I could practice my French with.
      I joined a meetup French club that is some distance away from me. They meet every Wednesday evening, but after work I don’t always feel like driving.
      If there is anybody who is a native speaker I would be grateful to be given the opportunity of practicing my French.

    • Hi Claire! You didn’t mention where you are from. I am from little old RI and have moved back, recently, from central FL. I live in a nice little cul de sac and the neighbors are very nice but it seems that they are mostly originally from this area, so they have friends and family nearby. This being the case, they are not around too much to visit with. I have one daughter nearby but she has just become a grandmother so she is busy with the new grand baby. Sorry to sound negative but, yes, I do get lonely.

      • I wrote on July 23 suggesting that this web site has some kind of location guide so that we can find friends in our area. I live in Milwaukee Wisconsin and am 85 years, retired for five years now, miss my work yet. I live in a condo here (15 years) some are friendly, some are not. Some of us have joined to meet and have lunch and then play cards or games. Many here are like me, old and live alone. I am not really lonesome, I just like to meet and get to know others. We look out for each other and do errands and etc for each other. That is so important to look out for others. Thanks to all of those who answered my comment. How can we move forward to locations om this web site?

        • Hi Claire, Shannon from Nextdoor HQ here! It is so inspiring to see so many of you reaching out and expressing interest in meeting up in real life. A quick reminder that this platform is the Nextdoor blog and is different from your neighborhood’s Nextdoor website. If you’d like to connect with neighbors who are in your local community, sign into your Nextdoor account and share a post with your nearby neighbors.

          If you are new to Nextdoor, welcome! We are so excited you’re here. We encourage you to create a free account and get to know the members of your local community. Get started at https://nextdoor.com/

      • Yes agreed. A wonderful viable idea especially since this post continues to stay highly active. So how can we connect with those that live in our towns or areas. I posted intermittently for several days and am encountering difficulty with communication/connection/exchange

    • Ron: your ‘story’ sounds kind of sad but there are answers. I don’t know where you live but – you could do some volunteer work, there are always places that would welcome volunteers & you would make some new friends. What about volunteering at an animal shelter? They always can use help – walking the dogs, cleaning cages, whatever is needed; how about volunteering at a local school – to read to the younger generations, maybe teach them some games & sports; not knowing your age I could suggest other things (I’m 76 & I keep pretty busy!); what about working with some seniors and/or visiting some of them. Many of them are in retirement homes with no family left to visit them; and if there is a local fitness center nearby, you could join a fitness center & get some exercise (I do about two hours per day, five days a week, & it keeps me healthy & my mind going!). There are so may places that could use volunteers! Or, maybe even get a small part time job, just to keep busy & meet people. You need to be creative! There are so many things that you could be doing ‘out there’! And you would definitely make some new friends just volunteering!

  • Sarah Friar thank you for a great article!! I enjoyed reading everyone’s response! Yes it is disappointing, not like in the fifties we left our front door unlocked and anyone can visit and drop in for a cup of coffee (or good ol Southern sweet tea!) YES we enjoy the technology of phones, tablets, internet, social media and yes human contact is a plus! Please keep us updated and events we might enjoy going too!

  • Loved your article Sarah. Wow didn’t know Nextdoor was all around the world. I’ve benefited from Nextdoor when my car was stolen, with a fundraiser I worked on for Camp Fire survivors, and socially with hiking and music lovers. Keep up the good work Sarah!!

    • Diane: What’s your musical interest? I just returned from music camp in Foresthill. Where do you hike? We live in West Sacramento, Greenwood, and Emigrant Gap. Email me if you’re inclined to do so.
      alancandee@yahoo.com

  • For the most part, I agree….heartily! Our ‘neighborhood’ perfectly portrays what you are saying. Many folks wish to meet, greet, and help out their neighbors….unfortunately, many others wish to ‘stand their ground’ and shoot anyone who looks cross-eyed at them or asks for help…yes, even if they may be taking advantage of the system. That’s the Amerikan way. Two legged or four..even strips laid across roads…anything that frustrates them needs to be shot…figuratively and literally.

  • I MOVED TO COLUMBUS OH 3O YEARS AGO. STILL NO FRIENDS. SOME IS MY FAULT BECAUSE I AM SHY. IT ALSO HOLDS MY HUSBAND BACK. THE SHYNESS ALSO PRODUCES FEAR BECAUSE I AM AFRAID PEOPLE WILL NOT LIKE ME. I LIVE IN DUBLIN OH, I AM WILLING TO COME OUT OF MY SHELL.

  • Just moved here to North Port from Ma. Any LGBT group around here? Widower, looking for some new friends and maybe star all over again.

  • A Ga-Zillion & One THANK YOUS for your Wit, Wisdom and Grace Sarah Friar for ‘penning’ the above

    ‘Coping with social isolation and loneliness, together’

    Well Done!

    I descend from the O’Hara Clan of County Sligo, and you truly do have a that most Wonderful Way with ‘Words’

    By the way, I rather ENJOY my Nextdoor App

    • Love hearing from someone from Sligo. I am from Ballintubber Abbey, out in the country in Mayo, lived all my life in IL now FL. Go home every year to see my siblings. Nextdoor is incredible love hearing what is going on in my community
      Bridget

  • If you just look at people when they are in a social situations. Most of the time they’re either on the phone with the social networks. Some people will be on and off but alot of people will be looking at their phone the whole time! People can see someone that they haven’t seen in years and they will get together for dinner or something and they will be on their phones sending messages and pictures to someone else! It could even be someone they see everyday. Now with all these social networks it’s hard to even talked to people face to face. Even most relationships are starting on all different sites. If you try to look at someone people usually will already playing with their phone or will start just so they don’t have to say hello. Technology is good for alot of things, but if you keep your eyes open and look around it’s changing alot of things for the worse!

  • Personally, I have been opting out of social interaction intentionally. I’m a fairly gregarious person, so if I liked, I could find social interaction. But people, for whatever reason, have become less and less agreeable, and I feel I’m better off staying to myself most of the time. I’d rather spend quality time alone working on my art or music than rubbing shoulders with rude, neurotic people. However, there is a down side: I’m losing the ability to interact. It’s as if people are interrupting my inner dialogue.

    • It’s been scientifically proven that when normally-social/tribal mammals are isolated for extended periods, their cognitive functions are altered (negatively). For instance, it damages “normal social interaction” skills (like the ability to recognize social cues). It also – in the longer term – causes some physiological problems. In real-life (slightly more extreme) examples, prisoners who have been in Solitary for too long, start losing their minds.

      Due to a variety of reasons, I’m on a “self-imposed house arrest” 3-4 days a week, and I fear that if I ever venture out to socialize again, I might come off as an escaped mental patient, LOL (joking but not really)…

      Anyway… If you choose to isolate yourself, do so with care and awareness of the risks.

    • I, too, value my alone time. I bike, hike, and play music by myself. But I’m also most accomplished at starting up conversations in the grocery store line and not afraid of engaging others face to face. My alone activities refresh my eagerness to engage. Minimizing screen-time is vital to my willingness to converse.
      alancandee@yahoo.com

  • I am retired on fixed income and live in a very small community about 30 miles from Indy with basically no friends. I just found out that social security claims they made an error in figuring my income for last year and now they are cutting my income by about 120.00 each month so I can pay back for their error. I was barely getting by before, so it looks like I will differently bot be making it without find an source of income which can be difficult due to my health issues, RA, 3 back surgeries, deterring bones, sleep apnea, Asthma, etc . I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions.

    • See if there is a Social Worker in your community, either connected with a medical clinic or hospital. Often they have great information for seniors regarding Social Security, medical benefits, work at home opportunities, transportation solutions or mobility issues. Check on Meals on Wheels programs to see if you qualify for a meal 5 or more days a week delivered to you (usually funded by your county.).

  • This is good…seeing people share their truth.
    I grew up in a tiny Mormon town, where everyone knew everyone. The opposite of lonely is no privacy. Those two opposite ends of the spectrum feel surprisingly similar.
    I’ve lived in Orlando for almost thirty years. One thing I’ve always enjoyed here is the way people just do their own thing. I enjoy that because I grew up without that option. But…I do feel for people who experience isolation. The difference between the feeling of spaciousness and the feeling of loneliness depends on whether or not your solitude is a choice.
    A few months ago, I did some research for a group founded by Ronald Reagan’s son, Ron. The name of the group is the Freedom from Religion Foundation… my search led me to an online organization called Meetup.com (sounds like a dating sight but it’s not…although it probably has that kind of group as well…) The membership is free. It connects you with groups, events, and activities, formed by members,bringing like-minded people together…not just online…but out into the community for a common cause. There are a zillion different groups, based on shared activities, shared viewpoints, activism, shared beliefs, shared interest in specific sports and activities. Since joining Meetup.com, I have attended a number of events, meeting people who share my interests. The other day I started my own group based on activism. Starting and maintaining your own group only costs twelve dollars a month, and the website posts your groups so people with your interest find out about it. So the sky really is the limit. If you don’t find a group in your community that meets your needs…Start one!
    Just like Nextdoor.com—Meetup.com is an example of technology at it’s finest. I highly recommend both of these resources as a means of using the tools of technology to overcome the isolation of technology. Thank You.

  • I thought I’d post a separate comment here. I’m a homeowner in Drexel Hill, PA… I’m experiencing similar things as folks describe here… social isolation, loneliness, depression, anxiety, rare random suicidal thoughts, etc.

    Social Isolation/Loneliness/Depression are a national epidemic that the medical circles aren’t really addressing, and that the mainstream media ignores (of course, cuz it’s not outrageous, sexy or shocking). To be fair, it’s a challenge to find scientific or medical “solutions” to emergent human situations. This emergent situation can be described as a causality chain:

    The highly ethnically and culturally diverse nature of our country and neighborhoods, causes:

    Our mammalian Fear and Uncertainty instinct to spike, which in turn causes:

    People to “be wary of” and “stay away” from people who don’t look like them or behave exactly (or close enough) to expectations. This, in turn, causes:

    People who don’t have established friends/family circle, to be basically isolated, “left out” of the Human tribe. And of course, this causes:

    Loneliness, depression, anxiety, social isolation… all which (if left unchecked)… causes a host of negative (and sometimes fatal) mental and physiological problems.

    So here we are.

    In my particular case, being a Negro Male just makes it all 100x times worse, since society has never considered us to be fully human beings, anyway ??‍♀️

    • Hi Chinedu,

      Just wanted to say thanks for your informative and thoughtful post and say “hello” from down in Maryland. You are WAY better off without those who can’t see past ethnic, class, etc., differences. I’m still hoping that most people are not that way. We’re all isolated enough without that kind of nonsense, as this discussion shows. Clearly the article struck a nerve for many of us.

      • Oh thank you so much for the kind words. I do believe that many people would be OK socializing with a non-stereotypical oddball such as myself, the challenge is locating those people (geographically). Hence the appeal of NextDoor.com. I am still slightly hopeful ??

        ☮ and ❤ to you and all the Maryland folks out there!

    • So true Chinedu – and being a single negro female- I find it extremely difficult since , I ,too, experience what you are experiencing – I tried church, and an organization called Celebrate Recovery (for Hurts, Hangups, and Habits) and ended up with more “Hurt”! I am in North Carolina- In Fuquay Varina to be specific.

      • Hello, Mary. You’ve inspired me to do a little searching in my area… maybe I’ll find a similar organization.

        Good luck out there in NC! I remember taking a short vacation in the Raleigh area… mostly the “tech triangle” (if that’s what they still call it). Lovely view.

    • I’ve lived 4 years in an apartment in NC with a pool open 4-5 months a year. Until now I’d only shared hello’s & hola’s & listened to the gregarious marathon talker. But 2 days in a row I just chatted with newcomers who said it was hard to find friends. One of them was a 30 something black male, I’m a white female age 65. I commented that he was one of the few people I’ve seen swimming like me. The kids jump in & out, & the adults watch their kids or lounge on floats. Somehow we talked for over an hour about having to move for jobs etc., exchanged names & hoped to meet again at the pool. I have to admit one of his parents was from the Caribbean, which doesn’t have the systemic racism which was set up to keep blacks ‘in their place’. (See a great book called The Color of Law, describing laws that segregated happily integrated neighborhoods, kept unions out of traditionally black fields, paid blacks less, kept them out of suburbs, didn’t give black veterans the GI Bill benefits. All us whites in the book club were shocked, one woman with a few drops of black blood said her family experienced all that.) My other chat was with a young Hispanic family hanging out by the stairs where the toddlers could stand. I had prepared Spanish, to explain why I need the stairs & when they switched to perfect English to greet me, I told them I wanted to practice Spanish, & they said they understood me. We continued in English about the problems of having to move. They complained their family in SC was 3 hours away & I used to work in SC so we compared perspectives. We exchanged names & hope to meet at the pool again. I used to live in Boston at an apartment with a number of long time retired residents who’d meet at the pool, fully clothed, just to sit & chat with whoever showed up. They’d bring a magazine to pass the time, which is much easier to put down than a book. So, I suggest finding a park, a pickup sport, a book club, a cooking class for singles, check your local community center, school continuing ed or for free: check out http://www.meetup.com. Most people wait for someone else to start something, so if you don’t see any thing you want, wher you want it, start something on meetup or nextdoor & see what happens. Eventually, maybe after a few misses you’ll find a hit. Volunteer for a candidate or a voter registration drive – lots of activiy in politics these days.

    • Hi Chinedu,
      I feel your sense of loneliness and isolation and want to thank you for putting your feelings out there for all to see. I was very shy growing up and didn’t make friends easy. As an adult female I learned to speak up for myself and meet others halfway and be the first to say hi and introduce myself. I have friends I can count on one hand due to moving around in the military. People are always going to be looking and judging people by class, color and ethnicity. Be who you are, You! Don’t change but reach out to others who are looking for friendship or join a book club, learn dance, etc. Be a pen pal for shut ins, Good luck and you can even email me.

      • Thank you for the kind words, Josephine! Sounds like you made a positive effort to get outta your shy shell. Funny enough, I wasn’t shy as a kid, but got shier as I got into my middle-age. I think society and life just kinda “beats the exuberance and joy outta us”, you know? ? So yeah… I’m making a bit more effort to be less of a cynical shut-in, because it’s a vicious cycle.

        Email addresses aren’t displayed here, but depending on your location I think I can PM/DM you (where do you live?).

        Much appreciated!

        • Clarksville TN
          I like how you described that life and society beat the joy and exuberance out of us. I’ve had days like that where things that happened were out of my hands and I suffered the consequences as a result of being the nice guy.
          Josi

  • Nextdoor has been so helpful and I couldn’t agree more with the article. As a mental health professional, I see the effects of loneliness and depression on people who may have retired or gotten ill unexpectedly so they have gone from a “have” to a “have not” through no fault of their own.

    As for me, I’m wondering if there are any single men (age group of 55-65) or women in the northern NJ area who would like to get together for activities like movies and such.

  • My daughter lives in Elsmere, KY and is 39 yrs old. She does not have many friends as she went to school out of town. She was working as a RN at the hospital until she started to have issues with her vision. She is also on dialysis and waiting for a kidney transplant due to diabetes. If anyone lives in the No. KY area and would like to get to know each other. Message me. (she is not one to reach out and is very independent) She loves music, movies, art and traveling.

  • I also live in Henderson NV. Moved here 3 years ago. Don’t drive. Don’t know but one neighbor. Thinking about moving to a 55 + community .

  • Although there may be the occasional conflict or shady character, the good far outweighs the bad. We can connect with others with like-mindedness or learn something entirely new. I am blessed to have several people in my neighborhood who help me and I help them. It’s good to know that someone cares if you are alive, someone you can count on and who you will be there for when they need me.
    Mindful of the relationship we can build, several of us have formed our own FB group and meet at the Library to socialize, share our fav craft and teach others. So far we have sewists, quilters, knit/crocheters, rock painters, wreath makers, etc etc. All we had to do is post a “Who’s interested?” So thank you Nextdoor for getting me out of my house and out of my solitude.

  • I work for an agency that helps individuals/children with mental illness if anyone is in need of services please don’t hesitate to message me we help with dependent living skills, behavior problems etc. We have qualified counselors that will come to you, don’t be ashamed or afraid to ask for help.

    • Hi ? Michele. What’s the name of your organization? My 8 year old grandson was diagnosed with Autism… do they have help for this? We are in California.., currently in Corona.

  • HI- I live in Troy Michigan with my 39 year old son. He has a genetic disability. We have been here for almost a year. I would love to meet people in my age group.I am 74 and unfortunatly do not drive.
    Dani in Troy,MI

  • My heart goes out to all of you who feel isolated and are lonely, depressed, etc! I’m pretty gregarious by nature and fortunately have found group activities that “grab” me and cause me to meet other people – all my life. I understand the feeling of rejection and the isolation it brings.

    The activities I love are dancing (I do international folk dance and also love New England contra dancing, English and Scottish country dancing, singing (have sung in choirs til recently). I like volunteering: at the local dance center, at library book sales, at church, for social activist groups connected with my church. I garden and have met many neighbors walking themselves and their dogs as I was prepping another garden area (and now maintaining them). I have been active in my street’s National Night Out street parties (planning, organizing and maintaining the “block lists, email lists, pet lists,” etc). I read my Nextdoor digest everyday and have been able to connect with people by taking (for free) or buying stuff they are getting rid of, by comments here and there about lost pets, impolite behavior or words.

    I’m telling you all of this as hints for group activities available to most people. I’m a firm believer in the way to bring people together to connect is with food – potlucks, block parties, church bizaars, organization fund raisers.

    I’ve suggested buddy systems for groups looking for new members – an “old hand” connects with someone new and buddies them for a while, introducing them to others, etc.

    There is always something to say to another – compliment on what they’re wearing, compliment a look of joy or pain or whatever in their face. Notice their kids and/or pets. Volunteer at pet shelters or other orgs. One of my local newspapers has a weekly column announcing volunteer opportunities. If you have kids, be a scout leader or assistant leader. If you have a manual skill, teach classes in community ed or at your library. Elders need companionship – for errands, for conversation, for help with small house-keeping tasks.

    I’m not saying that anyone should do any of these things, and definitely not all of them (at least at one time!) but suggesting them as ideas. I’m hoping that my suggestions might inspire you to try one of them or something else that you think of because of them. Best to all, and never stop connecting.

    • Awesome Cecilia for your input and volunteer ideas. That’s a good way to connect with people at potlucks and other social gatherings.

  • Loneliness is something I battle with! Being alone most of the time and being retired. I only have one neighbor I can trust. ( We were former roommates.) The rest around here I can’t trust. I was robbed a couple of years ago. This trailer park has druggies and drinkers. There is no respect. One of the neighbors dogs charges me when I get in or out of my car…(if it sees me?) I’m really scared where I live. I need help with things… but can’t afford to pay someone. I do the best I can. I LoVe playing board games and cards…also dancing to the 50’s -70’s music. I enjoy taking a short hike in the near by mountains and working out! I wish I could find a like minded friend in the Sandy Flats…Taylors S.C. area?
    Blessings to Sarah Friar for getting “Nextdoor Neighbor started.” I see your good work. I pray that more kind people will connect!☺

    • I’m home all day most days and alone. I’d love a good Scrabble game and I’d provide the coffee. Where are you? I’m in Cohoes, NY.

  • Thank you for sharing your article. It hits home for me. Social isolation does cause an early death for all of us. I suffer post tramp stress disorder from my daddy, but also other things that has happened throughout my life.
    Then in my 30’s from PTSD to deep depression. I dont know how to socialize because my two older brothers and I weren’t allowed to have friends. So therefore I don’t. The times I’ve tried and I do get a friend I end up doing something that destroys the friends. I don’t have any friends. I take care of my family. I babysit my grandson, 3 yrs old, three days a week. I go to church.
    I’ve been looking around the Lorena area for a ladies bible study. Hopefully I will find one and stay active.
    This is great opportunity on here to get out of your house and meet people. We all need a friend to lean on, talk to, trust, have coffee and cake for breakfast with too.
    Everyone deserves to have at least one person in their life that truly loved them.
    Don’t take this the wrong way. I have a husband and a family that are my life.
    If there is anyone in the Waco, TX area. There sure are alot of wonderful flea markets here. If you watch the fixer upper, Chip & Joann Gaines, I can take you to The Magnolia shop and restaurant.

    • Sheri: Your background resonates with me. I grew up in an abusive household, creating PTSD and clinical depression as a teenager. At age 28 I finally got medication that turned my life around. Up until then, I could not keep a job nor any friendships for long. In the year following medication I started a 30-year career with the public library and began what has become a 36 year marriage. I suspect that the long-term childhood depression caused a brain-chemistry change that only the administration of medication can correct. That’s my unprofessional opinion. I have been taking my meds for 36 years and never look back. I’d like to know if you find this helpful. (And I, too, provide daycare for my two-year-old grandson! Isn’t it wonderful?)

  • I am happy to be here, to vent out (If Needed). Get to know one another, over coffee, not to cuss But to discuss. I am an easy person to git along with. I am lonely, looking for companionship, I’m 65 years young. No drama, please.

  • This is an important topic, thank you for bringing it to light. I fight lonliness also. I live alone, always have. It’s a tough battle to meet people when you are homebound a lot. Thanks again.

  • Been in Cleveland for a month and I don’t know my neighbors, have no friends and am always indoor and it not easy

    • Hi Seth. What have you tried so far? Introduce yourself to neighbors, etc? Sometimes it takes a bit of effort on OUR part to initiate things. Sure we might be rejected a few times (see my top post for some quasi-scientific insight into why we should expect some rejection from other humans)… but you’ll find success sooner than if you just stayed indoors and not trying at all.

      Give it a shot, and don’t be too hard on yourself… It’s been just a month.

      Wish I was in Cleveland, we could kick it at least. Good luck out there, buddy.

  • Loneliness is a state of mind. One is mainly isolated because they either lack the social skills, eyeball to eyeball, mouth to mouth language skills to communicate effectively with strangers. Plus, many lack invaluable people skills because most are engaged in communicating electronically. Where touching and hand shaking are nil. Many in America are suffering from the great electronic connected-disconnect. Whom may have thousands of likes and friends on various social media sites that lacks real genuine live-person friendships that fellowship with one another. Homo sapiens are social animals and our electronic gadgets are our greatest hinderances. For many have lost the social skills of connecting live and in living color who needs to learn how to connect before that age of the Internet and the various social medias. For the old fashion way worked in the 1940’s and 1950’s.

    • Jesse: I agree with most of what you’ve said. In fact, I retired early to begin a nonprofit called Mindful Media Management through which I speak on the subject of minimizing electronic screen time. But I know there are some folks on this blog who, through no fault of their own, have impediments to connecting with others due to brain-chemical changes as a result of mental illnesses, either genetic or environmental. And unfortunately, it is not always easy to get treatment for such. But I encourage those who have been unable to achieve the correct mindset, to seek mental health treatments available to them.

  • Here’s a compact 12-minute video that – IMHO – nicely encapsulates the problem we are all experiencing here. It also describes the biological and sociological basis of the issue. I found the video SUPER educational, and have been sharing it with anyone and everyone who is afflicted by – or interested in – the topic.

  • I am lonely too! I work full-time, i’m single, i’ve lived here five years and the one person I met became a very good friend but died last year . If you’re in Fort Worth, let’s get together and hang out. Surely we can find some things in common .

  • Sarah,I applaud your vision and would hope our local ND could return to that focus. While it does include useful information about developments and events in the community, in also raising concerns of crime and homelessness, it has deteriorated into polarized exchanges often full of sarcasm, insults, and political rants.
    In my lifetime, I have experienced great neighbors in some real communities where people liked out for one another though I must admit not in Southern CA (other places where I had moved pursuing my career). I see less if that back “home” now in CA though some neighbors who reach out and certainly are friendly.
    As someone now with no family and also health challenges, the ability to connect would be especially appreciated. I see all around us the effects of the “wired” world reducing both the quality and the quantity of human interaction. It’s an admirable goal to have ND foster a better way. While I am not sure how our local ND group would respond, I do believe it’s well worth a try.

  • I thought know what loneliness was.
    2017 taught me something different.
    I lost my little lady 19th of September 3 days after my birthday, I know she’s in a better place but I miss her so dearly I still shed tears and I know she knows they are for her. In November I remember getting into the amulets and laying on the stretcher and get an oxygen mask put on somewhere around the middle of January I found out that I’m in the hospital. That was probably the best thing that could happen what was I supposed to do on Christmas and New years without even by my side. 2018 I thought you can’t get any worse April I go in the hospital and get my right leg amputated below my knee. Today I went for my 4th casting for another prosthetic leg, with my first three I haven’t been able to walk two blocks after two three hours I was in so much pain I had to take the leg off. I moved from Missouri down to Punta Gorda I don’t know know what how am I supposed to meet someone if I can’t get out. I know now what loneliness is

    • I need help here I’m all alone I’ve been alone for many years I work for a living I feel like I’m just trudging through this life and I have nothing to live for except to live until tomorrow and sometimes that’s not enough if anyone has any ideas please help me thank you

      • Hey bud. Where do you live? If you have insurance, have you considered a little therapy to supplement the attempts at neighborhood human connections? Please hang in there… as long as there is Life there is Hope.

        DM or even email me if you need someone to “talk” to.

    • I tend to see losses we endure as contributing to depression. In your case, you’ve lost a significant other and you’ve lost your leg, the use of it, and the ability to do many things you’ve always taken for granted. Adjusting to losses takes time and no one can assess how long each loss takes. In my experience, though, it gets easier as time goes on. Finding activities that you CAN DO, even ones you’ve never attempted before, can be very helpful. When I destroyed my knees in college from jogging on asphalt, teaching folk dancing, and playing full court basketball, it took me about three years to settle in to bicycling, ballroom dancing, and playing “horse”. Your losses are more significant, to be sure, but the same logic should apply. I know it’s not easy to hear, but give it time.

      Best to you.

  • Except for Church an the occasional, Hi how are you neighbor my existence now that my familys grow and moved out of state for jobs and marriage is lonely a bit isolated. I have lived my entire life in Ohio, a short stent in the military 68-69 I have worked and played here in NE Ohio. Such is life as we grow older, friends and family member pass on as we go on with our lives. Sometimes my friend in California calls to tell me about the Cougar she saw driving into her mobile home park or how the latest dinner at the clubhouse was a success. I think how exciting, I sit on my porch and watch neighborhood cats chase each other around. I would love to have phone contacts or someone to share coffee with too. I always say my cup is half full keeping my own spirits up to expect the same from day to day. I have difficulty excepting this new idea of social norms, I am afrade it spells the end of society as we grew up with and thats unfortunate as the family unit is no longer important

  • I lost my husband over 4 years ago, and several of the great neighbors who have helped me have moved away, and none of the new people seem to want to be neighborly.
    However, I am fortunate to be a healthy, active Senior (age 79), and am out participating in a ton of activities, involved in my church, working with kids which keeps me young, go to exercise classes at our local fitness center, dragged out my old flute from high school and joined our local Wind Symphony and a flute ensemble, and volunteer at a county food pantry, and our local state park, a Parkinson Support Group, Habitat, teaching for the Red Cross and Girl SCouts, plus I have a small pet care business. Look around, there are places that welcome new faces and love you to death. I have met so many new friends in all these places and they are now my loving family!

    • I lived in Richmond, TX for 2 years… 2 of the most socially-isolated years of my life. Neighbors thoroughly rejected any attempts at socializing at the park or wherever else (to be fair it wasn’t just me who was rejected… others were as well). My attempts at socializing elsewhere in Houston area met with little or no success, since everything is spread out, everyone has to drive, and the people are generally racially segregated (TX is diverse, but segregated).

      It was so bad, I developed insomnia… which I still struggle with today.

      If you can move outta TX, please do so. Otherwise… DM me, I’d be happy to be your pen pal.

      • Chinedu,
        Hello. I am going through the posts again to see about people in the Houston area. I see you live in Richmond. I am in Sugar Land area. I’d like to share a bit with each other so if you see this and would like to talk let me know….anytime. 🙂

  • I have read many of the comments. All though I don’t know where any of you are, I wish I could do a group hug. I relate to many of you. I have lived in South Florida for about 18 years and I haven’t really made quality friends here, for that matter know many of my neighbors. It sad when I was raised ito say hello to everyone, and I try to make small talk with my neighbors and it’s pointless at times. I feel like no one has time to be neighborly anymore. So sad what society has come to. Won’t stop me from saying “hello” to my neighbors.

    • Count me in, I’m from springfield, MO and would love to meet some new people because I don’t have a lot of friends. I used to have people that would come around me but only to use me for various things. I have been cutting those people out of my life, which is still very difficult to do because even though I’m being used by them, it’s better than being by myself sometimes. I would love to make new connections with people that don’t have an hidden motive behind talking or hanging out with me and that actually care about others.

    • Hii Norma, A group hug is greatly needed. I live in southwest FL near the Gulf. I have lived here 8 years and find it difficult to make real friends. I do some volunteer work which gets me out of the house. I do a lot of walking around my neighborhood and say hello to everyone. I am surprised at the people who just ignore me. But like you it doesn’t stop me from saying hi. I hope you have a good day! Take care!

      • Hi Rose, where are you in FL? I’m in Ft Myers. Been here for 9yrs since I became a widow, but have lived on FL for 40yrs. I understand loneliness as I am lonely most of the time.

  • I don’t know why I didn’t leave my last name earlier.It was late,was tired and this is new to me. I can relate to a lot of people on here. I’m a widow and was in a deep depression for years. I didn’t have a lot of moral support since we didn’t have children or sisters to talk to.But I did have a wonderful,beautiful,loving Mother who helped me tremendously more than words can say and of course my dog which was like my child and helped keep me company.Also I am blessed with great neighbors who have helped me and tell me if I need anything to let them know.We stay in contact often.I just love them.But my number one help is our Lord Jesus Christ! I have enjoyed reading some of your stories and I think this is a great way to just be you!

  • Wow! Sarah Friar has done a fabulous job creating a missive that so well defines social isolation and opens up the conversation.

    My business card says: Using Imaginative Empathy to effect positive change and that is exactly what is happening with hundreds of people on this thread. Thanks to everyone.

  • Hi shirley–my heart goes out to you I lost my husband 7 yrs ago when I was 46. He was the absolute love of my life and I thank God for him every day.

    I have continously looked for a widow/widowers support group in my area (Pittsburgh) to no avail. But they exist–please keep looking in your area. I think being with people who understand your heartache goes a long way to help with loneliness.

    Some of our friends disappeared which I never would have believed if I hadn’t experienced it. Other people act like death is ‘catchy’; or they become uncomfortable when all you want to be able to do is talk and share stories on occasion.

    Please know your not alone.

  • I have greatly enjoyed Nextdoor for approximately three years now. I post often in the Carmichael, CA (Robertson Avenue) scoop. However, when searching for a Nextdoor in Worcester, Massachusetts, I did not find one. Could you please hitch me up? Thank you in advance. Andrea K. Roth

  • Early in this year, a neighbor reached out to our community to inquire if anyone had interests in food, as she did, rather than golf, as so many in our community do. As a result, we now have monthly get togethers at the homes of people who responded to her initial outreach. It’s a fantastic success story and we are grateful to be a part of it. Thank you, NextDoor.

  • Wow! Interesting personal perspectives! I am currently living in Lynden, WA. Moved here 1.5 years ago from Canada before which I had lived in Minneapolis, Minnesota. As is said… ‘Shui Zhang Chuan Gao’… a rising tide lifts all boats. It is a responsibility to ALL work together. Having been a member of 2 International organizations (ISA & Mensa) for 30 years my world experience and the people who have touched my life make me VERY fortunate. I could go on for hours but I am most impressed with the Nextdoor website & would love to meetup with neighbours in this or other areas.

  • The use of electronic screen media has isolated individuals, particularly those aged 12-30, such that suicide rates are far beyond what they were prior to the Internet. I welcome any strategies that encourage engagement, face to face.

    • The way to encourage more face to face is to find like minded interests and them like minded people in any field of interest. Volunteering is a killer way to do it and way to start, but some people are challenged to understand their own passion much less choose something to join.

      • Definitely! I feel lonely only sometimes, as I’m very involved in my small church (if you attend church or want to, a small one is best – you get to know people in a way that you can’t in big ones, and they often need you to help out which is really good). And one of the big things that I have so much fun doing is singing – if anyone is out there and likes singing (whether you’re good at it or not), the Sacred Harp folk singing community is worldwide (I live in Auburn, WA, but you can find singings happening in all 50 states and spreading to England, Ireland, Australia, Germany, Poland, Japan, etc.) and generally wonderful at welcoming new singers. All-day singings frequently have socials associated with them where people go and hang out, and some people get so into it that they travel just to attend singings and visit friends all over the world. Check out http://www.fasola.org/ for more info on that. (The best way to try it out is to come to an all-day singing happening near you and experience what that’s like – then find out where the nearest local one is and attend that to learn how to do it.)

        I do sometimes wish I had more time to hang out with people in real life, but I spend so much time working on digital products that I sell to try to help support myself that online chatting is usually the only way I can do it – no one’s schedule ever matches up with mine! I have a small group of casual friends online where we chat about common interests and share what’s happening in our lives, but it would be nice to have a friend to do some things in real life with now and then.

        • Destiny, thanks for the info on Sacred Harp singing. This is one way to meet new people doing something you love. I also checked into Meetup.com which I didn’t even think of until someone on here mentioned it. Worth checking out for my daughter and I to get involved in an activity because she has said how lonely she is and no matter how I try it’s not the same as having friends close in her age group. That I can understand, but the important thing is to get out and meet new people or visit a shut in because there are a lot of people that can’t get out for health reasons and could benefit from a visit. Just a thought! Happy mingling!

          • I wish I had the time to go visit people more. When I get done with work, I have to come home and work more – I earn very little and my intensive work on the digital products I create is my investment for a less financially fragile future.

            I’ve often thought that it would be nice if I found people who lived near me who wanted to go to singings or my church or whatever and I could offer a ride (and then we could chat and get to know each other and all that), because that’s one thing I could do (since I’m already going there!), but:

            a) I don’t know that anyone lives near me who would (and how would I find out? I only got on Nextdoor recently and haven’t really tried to post anything yet because I’m not sure what I should or shouldn’t, what the culture is, etc.)

            and

            b) my parents drilled into me as a relatively young single woman (and I still am that, especially compared to the ages I’ve seen listed on here) not to pick up “strangers”, so it makes it hard to overcome the automatic fear of the unknown person in my car to offer a ride, even though I’m sure most people are perfectly nice and safe.

            Anything else, as I said, is difficult due to my working most of the week – morning, noon, or night. I do a lot of online chatting because I can say something, go back to work on something, and keep an eye out for a response. I can’t afford to dedicate even a half hour to chatting with someone, and I’d find it very difficult – I have mild Asperger’s (itself a mild form of autism) and find social interactions challenging as it’s hard for me to think of the right questions to ask people, I tend to ramble on about my obsessions and interests, and I can’t sustain direct communication for long and do it well. I like face-to-face interaction OK – as long as others don’t mind me getting very excited about things I’ve been thinking about or working on, and not knowing when to stop talking about them, lol!

            But that makes me think of another branch of people that this post doesn’t address by name (and who most people offering suggestions here may not take into account) – those of us who have what might be called social disabilities, who don’t interact necessarily the same way as most people (neurodiversity!). It’s very hard to find people my age who have compatible communication styles and are remotely into the same things as I am. The chance of finding one that lives near me is even slimmer. Just “getting out there and meeting people” isn’t a great solution, because just trying to meet people in general can actually be *more* stressful for me because I’m constantly thinking through my next action, trying to gauge whether I’m interacting “normally”, running through the list of possible reactions to something in my head to decide what’s the correct way to respond… A lot of these processes are automatic for most people, but they’re not for me and never will be. I have to consciously think about them to a level that gets exhausting after very long. To relax and just be myself would come across as quite rude or immature to most, and there are few people who are comfortable interacting that way or who can easily adapt themselves to interact the way I do. I’m a very intense person who has a ton of things going on internally all the time, and it’s too easy for me to overwhelm someone with it all.

            So I do a lot of online interactions because without focusing so intensely on the other person, I can keep from overwhelming them, and the text medium puts us on a more even playing field (and I can re-read the words over and over to interpret them as best I can, whereas I can’t watch someone’s facial reaction several times until I’ve processed it completely – in real life it all just goes by too fast for me). Still, real life interactions are so much better when I can find ones that work for me, so if anyone’s out there from Auburn, WA… 🙂

          • I consider myself quite the extrovert, but I, too, know my limitations and idiosyncrasies. So I accept that my immediate family are my “close” friends, and everyone else is just an acquaintance. No wonder that, beside my family, my next level of closest friends live far away from me. I accept and celebrate my uniqueness as an individual, though it would sometimes be preferable to behave like a “normal” person…

          • Yeah, I rent from my parents so having them around satisfies the need to tell someone about events in my life – at least, the ones they can relate to. Unfortunately we don’t share that many interests, so there’s not as much we can do together, and I don’t consider them close friends. My mom’s wonderful but she can’t share in the things that make me tick, doesn’t really understand it. But I know I’m fortunate to have that at least, I would get far too isolated and lonely if I lived alone. (Even if it feels like I do sometimes when they’re glued to their screens watching stuff!)

    • Real talk. Check out that video I posted up top… .totally confirms what you just said about suicide rates. As a near-victim of self-execution, knowing the REASONS my brain was acting up in that sense, helped me understand that I need to change SOMETHING or at least “put myself out there” in attempts to encourage face-to-face engagement with other living breathing human beings in this day and age.

      It’s harder than it sounds.

      Best of luck to you, bud… wherever you live.

  • Wow! Interesting & thankyou to everyone who shared! Yes I live in Lynden WA., lived here for 1.5 years previously in B.C. Canada and before that Minneapolis Minnesota & I could go on for hours however as a member of 2 International organizations (ISA & Mensa) I have been very lucky in life with those who have touched my life! I do however feel the aloneness living out here where I do. Maybe Nextdoor is an remedy. As they say ‘Shui Zhang Chuan Gao’… a rising tide lifts all boats! Hopefully by working together and sharing things get better!

  • Do all of you know there are the, “Meetup,” groups; meetup.com. My son, 42, never married, was in the army during his thirties, and caring for his grandparents until the 2nd one’s death, is just now beginning to have a social life, and that is one of the outreach mediums he is using, besides church attendance, a men’s Bible study, and reconnecting with some college friends, etc.

  • I have isolated myself due to chronic/terminal illness. Count me in. It’s causing me to lose sight and I am losing my fight. The app developers had at one time removed me from the app. It’s a shame it was done. Hope things have changed.

  • I’m sure we all need to make more of an effort to know neighbors, but not sure how, without the use of media such as this. I think the design of homes and yards made some difference, decades ago, when
    many of them, like the craftsman style, had a front porch, front yards of grass flowing from one to the other where children played in them, and the garages were in the back instead of the front.

  • There is no way to minimize the gravity of what Sarah Friar has created and enabled here on Nextdoor, a safe place to discuss so much about what we discuss so little of and possible avenues of connections..even from some distance away. Find someone you can speak with outside of this thread too. Do not let up.

  • Yes!!!….I’m struggling so bad right now….single father of 3, rebuilding entire life from ground up. I lost everything few months back. North Dallas tx

    Been living in motels…ran out of money,sometimes don’t eat for 2-3 days as so much more going out then in.

    I get denied by almost everyone I go to. Im Drug free/no felonies/perfect driving record…have proof I’m doing everything I can but.oftem.times just cry to sleep. I just want to go to a home?
    4699887246..text if u see this and want to maybe talk please

    • Omar, I am praying for you and your family tonight and wishing you a miracle very soon. I’m sorry. Hang in there. Lots of love.

  • I moved permanently to Carmel
    Valley about 6 months ago. I’m fortunate to live in a development of 38 houses where many of us meet walking dogs mornings and evenings. We share dinners and help when a neighbor is overwhelmed or in the hospital. I’ve also met wonderful people at the In-Shape gym and walking dogs in the park. I’m grateful to be part of this community. I would welcome the chance to meet more neighbors.

  • I’m lonely at times and could use some new friends..this article hit home for me too! I’m single in Long Beach Ca. I love sports, dogs and pretty women. Coffee anyone?

  • If there is any older person that need company. Please let me know. My parents live out of state. My grandmother passed. I enjoyed spending time with her. In her old age, all she wanted us to do was come visit. The time I spent with her was invaluable. I learned a lot. I’m located in Cedar Hill, TX

  • There is a lot to do at our Goebel senior center..located in Thousands Oaks,California

    including a $3 or $4 breakfast or lunch but no one is turned away if they can’t afford to

    pay. Bingo is played 3 days a week,Tuesday Friday and Saturday’s..with cash prizes.

    minimum pay out, of $25 and up to $100 and more.. It’s a great place to meet people, and find new friends..

  • There is a lot to do at our Goebel senior center..located in Thousand Oaks,California

    including a $3 or $4 breakfast or lunch but no one is turned away if they can’t afford to

    pay. Bingo is played 3 days a week,Tuesday Friday and Saturday’s..with cash prizes.

    minimum pay out, of $25 and up to $100 and more.. It’s a great place to meet people, and find new friends..

  • Simply, THANK YOU for diagnosing, or helping me self diagnosis what is killing me from the inside out. My day is brighter now knowing what it is I need to combat and ultimately find the cure for. Forever grateful!

  • There is a lot to do at our Goebel senior center..located in Thousand Oaks,California

    including a $3 or $4 breakfast or lunch but no one is turned away if they can’t afford to pay..

    Bingo is played 3 days a week,Tuesday Friday and Saturday’s..with cash payouts prizes from $25 up to $250..or more.

    It’s a great place to meet people, and find new friends..

  • I would love to become a part of that. Just getting out and having fun with different people that I’ve never met in my whole entire life. That’s would be just awesome.

  • I also get lonely. My Sunday mornings are spent in church and lunch with 4 or 5 lady friends after. Monday morning support group and we go to lunch after. Mobility and movement exercise class on Tuesday and Thursday for an hour. I still don’t get one on one or even two or three to one time. I would love to meet up with another retired person in and around Anaheim, Ca. I’m not a coffee drinker. Iced tea and soda suit me just fine. I miss neighborly conversations. Anyone from northern Orange County, Ca, Anaheim, Buena Park, Garden Grove

  • This is great but it’s just too all over the place for me. It’s overwhelming. I agree with someone who said this has to be narrowed down to people close enough to reach out. I’m in San Antonio/Von Ormy TX area if anyone close needs a sincere friend.

  • Nextdoor has had, unfortunately, the opposite effect of inclusiveness and helpfulness in my situation. I posted an article from our State Revised Code on the use of fireworks prior to Independence Day. I was roundly chastised, belittled and berated to the point I blocked the thread. I was told to take up crocheting or some such hobby rather than try to spoil everyone’s (illegal) fun. I made no personal comments in my original post. It was horrible. I felt very violated while I was just trying to help and be a source of information. I will NEVER post anything to Nextdoor again and rarely look at it.

  • What about the loads of people we have on who only get on to report lost/stolen dogs, need a recommendation, or want to sell something? That is a wide majority of what we have.

  • Unfortunately so many use Nextdoor as an excuse not to get togather.
    Where I live there is a post on Nextdoor suggesting a neighborhood get together but hardly anyone said they were interested.

    The person who posted volunteered there house for it.

    Like people don’t even want to know who there neighbors are.

    We become so concerned with home security that we just asume the worst about a person.

  • I was sent a letter about joining the nextdoor website because of keeping up with the crime and news of the neighborhood
    But all I have seen is everyone wants help for outdoor activities and selling and buying goods from each other
    I have seen 1 post of a man taking picture of there home for doing home improvements
    I was lied to telling me this site was to keep our neighborhood safe with communication
    Not to sell or boy something

  • Anyone out there from Jacksonville Fla? Specifically Mandarin or Southside? Could really use some help, friends (don’t have any), social activities. Am bored, lonely and have pretty much isolated myself for several years. Hope I hear from someone.

  • I rarely ever feel lonely but know lots of people who do. I will follow this blog and see what I can do in my “neighborhood” to reach out.

  • Hello,
    I stumbled upon this blog and so glad I did. Prior to reading everyone’s comments, was feeling so many of the thoughts and emotions described here. I’m 62 happy go lucky for the most part, private but lonely. I just retired a month ago as an educator and haven’t quite accepted it yet. So much so, I think about returning every day. I’ve worked my entire life. Nonetheless, your responses helped me to see that others feel the same as I. ATL GA

    • Savon- you wrote nearly the same message as I shared. I was buying nightstands when I found this article-pulled me in. I can certainly relate to you and retiring-I turned 60 this year and seeing how it feels to be remi retired. Work has been, more than I realized-my identity. Which way do I go now?

  • I live in the Boston area, and there is at least one paid membership group that was started to help older people to be at social events, assistance with groceries/rides, and referrals to professionals such as estate lawyers. You might help to organize such as group, you’d meet your neighbors and have support.

    Usually, cities and towns have a Council on Aging or the Elderly. You might approach them (or the City Council or a large church) and see if they would be interested providing the administrative support (and a web page for the group) for such an idea. Here is the link to the group in Wellesley,MA, which has received press and significant praise. There may be more of these around the country.

    https://wn.clubexpress.com/content.aspx?page_id=0&club_id=357998

    There is another group for Boston’s Back Bay neighborhood:
    http://www.nabbonline.com/activities/friends_neighbors_activities/friends_neighbors_groups

  • I love this. I am in USA and I started our group. It has been so beneficial to many. We are really enjoying it.

  • Jesus said it best in Matthew 22:34-40 paraphrasing love God and Jesus with all your heart and to love your neighbor as your self. If you are a true believer what ever you need ask the Father. If you need a friend and companionship just ask. Joining a church does help and if you don’t like that one find another. Joining a church helps the social aspect we all need. Some of you have mentioned church but most have not. It seems to me there are a lot of broken people out there that God can fix if you believe and if you ask. Roger Grider St. Louis, Missouri

  • Hello, I’m in the same boat. Most of my neighbors are nice but I’m the only single person in my neighborhood. It’s kind of like they don’t want to do with me. I’m divorced, no kids but I have an adorable mini Australian Labradoodle. I live in Raleigh, NC, so if anybody in this area wants to connect by phone, first, please let me know!

    Betty Ann
    919 696 4404

    • Hi Betty Ann
      I don’t live near you but I related so strongly to your message about being single no kids and a couple of dogs and the neighbors all couples, many with children at home or not and won’t engage with me. It’s really sad because I tried for awhile the. Just gave up. Hope this sharing in this post helps some of us connect. Take care

  • Yes..loneliness sucks! And it seems most are women. Wish I had a couple of friends to go out with and hang out with. I’m not the usual 60 year old.
    Anyone like hard rock music?..lol
    I’m in SW florida. Let me know

    Natalie

    • Just saying Hi Natalie,
      I love your post…..I’m not the usual 60 year old either and I love good music! Wish we lived near each other, I’m in Texas. Sat

    • I’m not your average 70 year old and love rock. Unfortunately I’m in Jacksonville. Hope you find some cool friends.

  • Nancy, Virginia, Deb….hope you see this. I’m a Texas girl and in the Houston area. I also am a widow for many years. I would really enjoy a meet up with any women from the Houston metroplex area. That would be great!

  • Hi, I’m in Canyon Lak, CA and hoping to meet friends. I’m new to the area, divorced, retired, 56 yo woman. I would love to connect.

    Kelly

  • Hi Natalie, I just turned 60 and I still feel youthful-yes I love rock n roll music and live concerts-heck I like all sorts of music. I’m in San Diego, CA.
    Most of my friends are paired up and try to hook me up with people that bore me to tears-
    Karen

  • anyone out there from San Diego? I was on today buying 2 nightstands when I came across the article and was pulled in and started reading the comments, stories and sad state of the human condition and then realized “I can relate to the general message”- I’m in San Diego and even here there can be isolation.
    Hang in there everyone-I’ve actually met some really nice people here- I’ve hired them to do work around the house, I’ve made purchases and sold or given away things as well!!
    My one statement-stay optimistic

  • I am in Springfield Ma and would love to meet some new friends anyone else out here from my area ?

  • Ellie and other Texans….
    Hi. I just saw your post Ellie…. I’m in the Houston Sugar Land area. Where are you. I’d love to meet up with some of us posting here. I’m retired and single and would be interested in doing all kinds of activities……

  • In Lynnwood, WA and would love to meet new people a well. Im a single mom with a 16yr old son that would like to find family friends..

  • From all the postings, sounds like this is a need! Why isn’t this organized by zip, city or at least by state? Is that possible?

  • I’m in Ventura County CA.Widowed 8 years ago. Had church family but so much activities are for “Families “ & the widows group are full of much older than myself. I was widowed at 49. All my friends are married & don’t understand what it is like to either go out alone or stay at home alone.
    Isolation often leads to not so good thoughts about life. When your entire life was focused on the family… then it’s gone .. hard to find ways to begin living again.

  • I live in L.A , I am 72. I still work as a teacher and a tutor. 2 years ago, thanks to Nextdoor Brentwood, I started a French speaking/French loving group. I was rather new to L.A coming from New orleans where I had tons of friends. Through my French group I met many wonderful people and made very good friends. Hope more people can join us, we have fun and eat a lot.

  • in our town national night out is coming on Aug 6 good time to sit out front, or maybe arrange a neighborhood pot luck or dessert or what ever to get to know the neighbors. So many come and go and so many new and a few of us ‘old timers’ still here but make connections.

  • This was a VERY good article. NON political and very wholesome. Please keep doing these! This is what Society needs!

  • Okay. I admit I didn’t know that at it’s foundation Nextdoor is a relationship builder until I read the blog. I use it for my business. I admit I’ve not intentionally sought friendships on it. Why? For all the reasons stated in the prior 400 posts, including the poor soul who was publicly, verbally assassinated about her posts on fireworks. All of my friends have spouses/significant others and my closest child is married, 45 minutes away. So being alone is a constant. Just the same, I have to do something different to experience better memories at this age. You all have inspired me to be prayerful, open and expect new relationships…soon.

  • I enjoy the way information is shared around my community
    Although I am curious to know why my fb notifications are posted on this site and even then they are posted in Spanish. I’ve already gone through my settings and everything is good except for yours.thank you

  • I too am lonely and isolate. I use to not never say hi to a stranger. Now after in my former career it and I have changed.
    As a kid I got punished late for curfew but I had to run home about 2 miles away so I jumped fences. When I got home mom was answering calls waiting as she got called by each one. The point is we can still physically in person get to know each other in our neighborhood.
    As for me I’m divorced with no family here and retired on disability. I have no kids family is a call or hour away in nearby state. Dating online is a joke and everybody younger or that has kids only want to text preferably on Facebook which I dispose. You can read body language by voice or even more in person. A phone was made for talking just saying. Well I have 2 4 legged kids to feed and say hi as every morning they are awaiting bones and food and a little ice to cool the water. They usually only drink outside in fall or winter. Remember if you cant leave a child or pet in a hot car. I would break a glass and call 911. I use to do that and would get those calls.

  • I can’t believe how things are changing with technology. My husband and I raised two children in a neighborhood for 20 years and we knew All our neighbors sometimes even have impromptu street party/cookouts. After our children grew up we moved closer to work and we have been here 11 years and do not know one single neighbor!! I know I am guilty of being on my phone right now but I watch 3 people all in the same room with their faces in their phones but not talking to the human sitting next to them!!

    I live in Charleston, SC and love to play cards, Pictionary and board games.

  • I am a 88yr old widow. Fairly healthy, active, I garden, mostly flowers now, make cards and scrapbook. Would like to fiend some friends. Live in East Hills Bakersfield, Ca.

  • To Sarah Friar

    This is the first blog I’ve ever engaged with
    First of all thank you for creating it
    And thank you for posting on this topic, the response indicates a vital deep need that seems to be prevalent with many people. I’m one of them. What a great vehicle for connecting and initiating community as so many have expressed desire for in the posts I’ve read the past few days here
    My issue is that I don’t know how to navigate well here and I just read a suggestion from someone that made sense…..since people are reaching out to each other and asking for location and inviting connection, how can we regionalize and organize geographically to make meeting up with each other easier….I don’t know how to rescroll through all the posts to look for those where I’m at which is in the Houston area. Is there a way to do this?
    Thanks so much.

  • The above is all well and good. However we have experienced multiple occurrences of Nextdoor threads becoming TOXIC! Very nasty and inappropriate things being posted. An example, it was posted that a young woman was selling children’s books door to door. This became, can we shoot her for trespassing under stand your ground?
    The “Moderators” have been useless, “try to think of butterflies and rainbows” is one of their actual comments.
    Nextdoor needs to add a function that requires individuals who have made poor choices of what they say, have their future postings be approved by the moderators before the posts go live.

  • I am almost 59, single, no kids and as friends are having grandchildren; I find myself alone a lot and trying to find people to go to movies, theater etc. I live in Central NJ by Red Bank and the beach and would love to meet new people. Cathy

  • Amazing how one person can be surrounded by family, and still be very lonely. Nearly 70 yo guy here. It would be nice to find a group that likes to play cards, board games, etc. In Palm Harbor, Florida here.

    • Hi Ray. Tell me about it. I have 6 children that live in Florida , most right here in Pinellas county and in the same boat. My phone never rings unless my oldest needs bail money . Nothing on holidays or birthdays. I feel ur greif my friend. I hope things brighten in your future. Maybe we can get together for coffee some time. I’m in St. Pete.

  • Im more bored than lonely, but I would enjoy company. Love to explore, take walks, and be outside.

    • My name is Angela I am 38 years old, my fiance and I just moved to Lakeland Fl from Tennessee in March, I dont know anybody here besides him and Im currently unemployed looking for employment diligently just not having any luck so it makes it hard to meet new women in my community when i never leave the house lol. Anyway im looking for a good woman i can call a friend in my community…im not a social butterfly like my fiance so i have a hard time meeting new people and making friends im very shy and drama free so if you have drama im sorry i dont need that in my life but i would love to meet you if your just looking for somebody to call a friend in this big city. Like i said im from Tennessee Im a down to earth county girl in the big city not sure how i feel about that yet lol where im from there is just 3 redlights a grocery store walmart and a couple gas stations so this is a big scarey city to me lol i feel like Dorthey off the wizard of oz lol. I just like to laugh and have a good time. I dont party so please dont ask.

  • Hello everyone, this is Becky Thurman. My husband and I just moved the this less then a month ago, I was wondering Ladies, I am in Aubrey, High Meadows. I am and still looking for a great Nail and Spa place that is reasonable and treat their customers with good customer service manners. Any suggestion would be great. Thanks everyone

  • I’ve lived in Alpharetta, GA for 6 years and don’t really have any close friends other than work acquaintances. I’m open to meeting IRL or even online chatting. I am 48, married and have 4 fur babies.

  • I want to thank you so much for this idea. Perhaps it will actually morph into people connecting again physically in their own areas. Remember when people love to walk around outside and wave at the neighbors and have an actual face to face conversation. I look forward to growing into that again also.

  • The last of my close family members died nine years ago. And, being the youngest grandchild on both sides of the family doesn’t help. I have tried my hand at several hobbies and that led to new friends. I volunteer at a local museum. There are still time to be lonely. But, Florida provides many different types of opportunities to meet new people and try new things.

  • After reading all these comments, it seems like there are many of us who feel the same way. At least I don’t feel like I’m the only one with these issues now. I live in Southaven, MS and have been here 7 years. I have tried to find birding groups, meditation groups, etc. with no luck. The only neighbors I knew got transferred away and everyone else keeps to themself. So it’s pretty disheartening. I certainly hope my luck will change.

  • Sounds very political. I have had my share of a certain kind of experience with Nextdoor. No, I mean with Nextdoor.

  • I’m a busily retired nurse in Houston, TX. I’m a volunteer ESL teacher and I make quilts to donate to a retirement community. I love cooking, gardening and sewing. If it would help I am willing to be an email penpal with someone with similar (or different) interests.

  • Mikey, Del Amo m/park, ➖ First of all, I am a little taken back on the over well meaning response this issue has generated. – Today happens to be my Birthday, ( July, 25th. ) . As like all of other Birthdays, I can’t wait until it’s over. – I won’t go into it, but it’s the saddest day of the year – I truly hope everyone is safe, and happy . Much Lov.

  • As a counselor, I have long predicted this epidemic of social isolation. It scares me silly. I watch my children and grandchildren isolate themselves while living only on social media and having only “online” friends they have never met.
    I am blessed to work in a family environment but worry about retirement in the suburbs. We are friendly in Kentucky but don’t really socialize. I’d be interested in developing community inmy neighborhood.
    God bless you for this initiative!

  • I have no friends in Austin. It’s not like I haven’t tried. I have bad anxiety and deal with depression. I’ve gained a lot of weight too and I’m not sure if my meds are causing it. I’m trying to meet with neighbors in our HOA. That’s been difficult too. I feel a bit isolated.

    • I also suffer from depression and anxiety, have for many years. Since my husband past away 5 years ago it has only gotten worse. I took care of him for about 2 years before he went into a nursing home. I have put on weight and have let everything go, if it wasn’t for my dogs I probably have given up. I talk to my daughter once a week but that isn’t enough. In my neighborhood it is mostly young couples with children. They have their lives and they don’t want to bother with an elderly lady. I hate going out by myself, I guess I feel self conscious. I love plays, traveling and movies. I went to Branson, Missouri the same year my husband past and didn’t enjoy myself. Now I go see my daughter and grandchildren, they live in Galesburg, I L and that is the only place I travel to anymore and I would like to go to Las Vegas but I don’t want to go by myself.

      • Valerie, I know how you feel. I live in Los Angeles, am in my late 50’s. I grew up here and yet I no longer have friends. I have family but they’re not really interested in me, so I’m mostly just with my animals. They keep me going but it’s hard. I used to be really sociable but that’s fallen away, and now I just stay home and don’t do much. I can’t drive and I don’t have money, so I’m stuck, and with no one to talk to, things just don’t seem worth doing. I don’t know what to do, or how to get out of this situation.

  • WOW, I really enjoyed reading that. I totally agree, people all different ages seem to feel alone and it’s good we are talking about it. A lot of people are really aware of it. I’ve always said social media like FB can be a good tool to use as far as connecting with people from your past, staying in touch with family and friends far away etc, etc. But so many seem to hide behind there profile or get caught up in make believe and alot of times they become lost or lose themselves. It’s scary as some of our young people are lacking in social skills, the ones we grew up learning (pre-internet). It seems they have become obsolete, unless a keyboard is in front of them they do not know how to interact with each other in person. It’s sad when people would rather go looking for “Pokemon” that aren’t really there, than to play a good game of Hide & Seek with your friends on your block in your neighborhood. We do need to get back to that. I talk to people or strangers all the time in the stores. So many times there reaction to me is total surprise. I like to make people laugh cuz laughter is healthy and good for the soul.. sometimes people probably think I’m a bit weird of crazy but that’s ok, I still talk to strangers in the store. You learn something new everyday just by talking to people in person. Our species “humankind” really do need each other. Keep up the positive work

  • Great article and so important. Is anyone out there from Spring Hill, Florida? I am almost 75 and could use some friends.

  • Let’s try this one more time…NextDoor is a communications platform and not here to, in effect, provide mental health professional advise thru these blogs.
    Nothing replaces face-to-face one-on-one professional counseling for emotional and mental health issues of isolation resulting in severe feelings of loneliness threatening one’s well-being.
    That is what Crisis Centers are to address not communication platforms.

    • Hey Wingo we can use each other as a sounding board, I have seen professionals and as far as I am concerned they aren’t worth the time and money. We need people such as friends to share things with and it’s a lot cheaper.

    • I don’t know why you seem to think there’s something wrong with people taking solace in each other and helping each other out. Perhaps you should keep your scolding to yourself. If you can’t say something nice…

      • Thanks 4 letting others know WE R
        Aloud to communicate W someone
        Who may be suffering from Anything .
        Why R
        Soooo many Folks being Sooooo
        Negative …SAD?….
        Just wanted U to know I am right beside
        U on the this issue…
        Have
        a free Depressive day ?❗️

  • Does anyone live in Willowbrook, IL? I have been a widow for 5 yrs. My husband was so outgoing, he spoke to anyone, and I am just the opposite, introvert. It’s very hard for me to meet people. I tend to isolate and stay in doors and keep my dogs company. Animals are much easier to get along with than people, animals don’t care what you look like they aren’t judgemental. People are just plain rude. I have lived my neighborhood for 32 years and I only say hi when I see them. They both are from different countries and they are much friendlier and willing to help you. I would like to move closer my daughter and grandchildren, but I think it hard to make any kind of change when you have lived somewhere for so long, after all at my age(70) years old I would like to stay but its to lonely here.

  • Yes as someone on here posted it’s overwhelming to read through twenty five posts or more from people all over the country.. too bad there isn’t a way to narrow down by state? After scrolling through wgphatseemed like hundreds of posts, I stopped.l Not one person is in or near Ct.. Thanks for the effort to start this group.. I lost my son five monypthscago, and posted looking for other parents who lost a child, but not one reply.l It’s a different kind of loneliness, I guess.l Thanks, and May there be peace in the world..

  • I’m lonely, isolated, and not driving (temporarily?). Near Manchester, MI (s.w. of Ann Arbor), 68 years. Own house way out in the woods. Intellectual. Creative, eco, active. Sober.

  • Great Blog, love the idea!
    I’m in Whitestone NY if anyone wants to get together for coffee/tea count with me, please send me a message!

  • Nextdoor brought our neighborhood together when an issue arose locally and through this issue we not only successfully stopped something from happening we gained friendships through the common goal. I met a lot of great people and now know a bunch of my neighbors and made some great new friends.

  • I was thinking maybe a texting buddy to talk things out with to talk out issues together and maybe help each other out or multiple people texting and helping each other out I don’t know it’s just a thought I figured I’d put it out there

    • That would be counterproductive as the whole point to this article is how technology drives people into isolation. Texting isn’t going to help that; in fact, it could make it worse. (Setting aside the fact that one never knows who is on the other end of that string of characters.) The idea is to get people out and meeting each other, not setting up yet another way to keep them staring at a screen.

    • I would like ‘Text friend….
      I
      Live in Columbus, Ohio…
      The
      Buckeye State…
      That’s
      What our Our team is called,
      The Buckeye’s ….foot ?.
      Ohio State University….
      Hope
      to here from someone, Soon ?❗️

  • I’m glad to know I’m not the only one that feels lonely even though I work everyday and talk to co workers but it’s not the same. I live in Herculaneum Missouri which is a small town south of St Louis.

  • Alice C
    I live in Michigan (Ann Arbor). I have some sight limitations and due to my working career and life changes, I find myself to be somewhat isolated. Is anybody out there?

  • Please remove Ads from Nextdoor! I joined the Nextdoor app so I could learn from and share feedback with my neighbors, not to get Ads. The Ads are simply ‘white noise’ and get in the way of using the App for its original purpose.

    • I agree with you, Gail! But look at it this way: something has to pay for the upkeep of this site….advertising may be what enables them to keep this free.

  • It’s good to see that we’re all not that alone out here.
    Good to see and read people’s story and that there is support for those of us that come to that place of being alone with no one to talk to or share things with.
    Thanks to Nextdoor there’s many many friendly neighbors out there that are there to talk to and share experiences with.
    Anyone out there with a genuine soul
    I am also always there to talk to and email me or text me ☺️

  • I live in Del Mar Heights in a single family house. A year plus ago we invited new neighbors – from a far away Asian Country – for coffee, a chat, a short get-together. We did so four times, orally and by email.
    They have neither responded nor have come to say hello. This is a major Hutzpah, and any wonder
    that people are lonely? Possibly we SHOULD separate from people of this mentality. Any other suggestions?

  • I’m just totally lonely. I made a big mistake moving here from Corpus Christi. The people who are there welcome you and want to be your friend. The people here don’t want to. Sorry folks but I have never lived in such a rude area.

  • Enfield, CT Hello! We have just launched a “Friendly Senior Caller” program to reach out to isolated seniors in our community. It is a phone contact once a week done by trained volunteers and the pilot program has so far been successful. We are mindful of boundaries, available local support resources for referral, and the vetting as well as the training of our volunteers.

  • Love this! I’m in Texas, as well – DFW, Mid-Cities area. I work during the week, but always enjoy meeting new friends.

  • Sara and all, just moved to Rocklin from the Bay Area. Was active on NextDoor and want to do the same with NextDoor in Rocklin, CA. That is where the wonderful ness of NextDoor seems not to be so wonderful Asked to verify myself which I did one month ago still no postcard-maybe NextStore is not so neighborly or competent in their neighborliness. Sara could you get the postcard to me with the code?

  • I don’t drive because my husband takes the car to work every day. Even when he’s home he sits behind the computer doing who knows what. Looking for someone to talk to and maybe go out and have coffee. Very lonely and board.

  • Friendship is elastic, but it should be concise. . .a very tight rubber band that won’t break when stretched. In this modern age of technology, it is the verbal communication between friends that has become the keeper of the language. Not yesterdays or tomorrows, not text, not email, but a spoken language between friends. Without the audience of one friend or more, what constitutes the validation of a thought freely spoken? Compassion, in the end, is the ability to see other people’s needs in the same perspective as our own. I’m not completely sure of who’s responsible for the loss of libraries and with it a general lack of literacy. Certainly not teachers. Perhaps we ourselves have lost the art of conversation, the ability to share ourselves in the most ordinary of ways. And in so doing, have lost the art of receiving the benefit of another’s viewpoint, another education. Better to live in a desert without the sun than go your own way – always.

  • Hi neighbors, Shannon from Nextdoor HQ here! it is so inspiring to see so many of you reaching out and expressing interest in meeting up in real life. While we love what is happening here in the comments of this blog, we wanted to remind everyone that this platform is the Nextdoor blog and is different from your neighborhood’s Nextdoor website. If you’d like to connect with neighbors who are in your local community, sign into your Nextdoor account and share a post with your nearby neighbors.

    If you are new to Nextdoor, welcome! We are so excited you’re here. We encourage you to create a free account and get to know the members of your local community. Get started at https://nextdoor.com/

    • I didn’t know so many people deal with the social isolation like I do. I’m glad this topic was brought up, as it is very hard thing to go through. I see everone on there phones these days, I have become annoyed of the only means of socializing with people is through Facebook or other similar platforms. I’m scared …… if i’m already feeling socially isolated and loney at my age, what’s its going to be like in 10,20,30 years….? I used to have 10-20 calls a day from friends and family, but now unless I’m glued to a Facebook page I don’t hear, see, or know what’s going on with the once close friends. I understand that everyone grows and has families, work, ect… i’m ….at the point now where I would just like to meet some good people and/or have a group of others that could use the company of others, anything from meeting up once a week for coffee and talk or maybe a few of us go do something fun together. I just don’t want to feel this way anymore and am really surprised that so many feel this loneliness also. I’m in washington state about 20 miles north of Seattle. I love Nextdoor it seems gave neighbors a way to get information or give information about things going on in our neighborhoods.

  • I lost my baby sister in 2014, my loving husband last june,(alzheimers) and my oldest brother 4 months ago. The community I live in is hateful. Please forgive me for being honest, but as i struggled to take care of my husband and tried to find support, there was no one there. I have posted on next door when it was first created, but after a couple of months it became a soapbox. People putting down others ect. I was scared to ask for help;(
    I am struggling alone, no help, no communication from others, but I will have to survive. Sad to see what has happened to society, and how the elderly are kicked to the curb. Great article!! Keep writing?

    • Jen, I am so sorry for your losses. I won’t say that I know how you feel because no one can feel another’s pain unless they, too, have actually experienced it. I lost my husband of 52 years and now my friends that are ‘couples’ do not associate with me as much. I understand that they have ‘someone’ to talk to and do things with but it gets lonely.

      • AFTER LOSING MY WIFE, I ALSO NOTICED A COUPLE OF THINGS. FRIENDS WHO ARE COUPLES PROBABLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY, AND MAY FIND IT DIFFICULT TO SAY ANYTHING, AND MAY FIND IT EASIER NOT TO HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING. BY STAYING AWAY THE WORLD GOES TWO BY TWO, AND WHEN YOU ARE ONE AND ONE, IT ISNT A GOOD FIT. AND IT MAY BE THOSE WHO HAVE NOT HAD SUCH A LOSS, POSSIBLY DONT WANT TO FACE THE FACT THAT THEY COULD BE THE NEXT VICTIM OF LOSS, AND AGAIN, FIND IT EASIER TO STAY AWAY. JUST SAYIN’.

        • I am also a widow, we were married for 26 1/2 years, he past away in January 2014. I agree with you the friends you used to have don’t associate with you anymore because now you are single. I guess you just have to move on and make new ones. l have lived in my neighborhood now for 32 years and people aren’t friendly at all.

          • THANKS FOR THE THOUGHTS. I TRY TO STAY AS BUSY AS I CAN AND TRY NOT TO TURN DOWN INVITATIONS. I KNOW THE HOLE IN MY HEART WILL NEVER GO AWAY BUT I HAVE GOOD MEMORIES TO COMFORT ME.

  • I’m a busily retired nurse in Houston, TX. I’m a volunteer ESL teacher and I make quilts to donate to a retirement community. I love cooking, gardening and sewing. If it would help I am willing to be an email penpal with someone with similar (or different) interests. PM me for email address.
    Reply

  • What a very imporant message here. Thank you for posting this. It is very important to know the people where we live, work and play. Just saying hello to your neighbor can lift their spirits. Our world is such a busy and lonely place.

  • Well let me say this. I am 63, I am probably one of the best computer techs in the industry, and I cannot move out of my house. I am agoraphobic as could ever be imagined, so much so that I find it hard to even mow my lawn. I was not like this at all until I lost my voice due to a laryngectomy. In order to speak these days I need electronic devices to speak at all. In large groups my voice is silenced because no one needs or wants to talk to the robot voice guy.

    Thankfully I have a spouse of 43 years that understands me and understands my increasing proclivity to stay separated from normal society. I was never this way before I lost my voice, literally, and now I just stay inside surrounded by my pets and TV and go from there. I get sick to my stomach anytime I go out in public. If it weren’t for my family who I know loves me I would be lost..

    I think I should have just let cancer get me, and forget all this saving my life stuff, because i have been beyond miserable for the last 3 years. I dont even feel like tha same person as I was before 2015 at all. I am lost and can find no way out…

    Thanks for listening…

    M…

    • I’m becoming a sit in simply because I have physical problems that prevent me from walking too far from the house. I can handle going downstairs to fill the bird feeder, get my mail, etc, though. I miss my old neighborhood where I had a coffee shop, a pharmacy and a supermarket all within a 3-5 block walk. Here, I have to walk a lot farther…miles…to get those things and I can’t walk that far without a lady’s room available…there’s nothing here. I guess I could say that I miss living in a big city. I’m lonely as hell, too. Sigh. No one seems to live in Cohoes, NY.

    • I’m right there with you. I know it’s been a few months but I’m hoping you see my reply.

      I’m the same age as you and underwent laryngectomy surgery in December. I also have problems going out in public, but I’ve been able to avoid the full-on agoraphobia by forcing myself to leave the house. The social isolation has been severe – many people I thought were my friends have pretty much stopped even attempting to communicate with me.

      I wasn’t going to have this surgery but was talked it to it by other laryngectomy victims (misery loves company) and the surgeon. It is my firm belief that if people were capable of truly and fully understanding the aftermath of a laryngectomy there would be very few takers – there is no way I would have signed up.

      Nothing could have prepared me for waking up in the hospital and realizing that I am so fundamentally, permanently and hopelessly broken. I am six weeks into this and feel like you do – I should have let the disease run its course and skipped the tortured life after the laryngectomy. I’m in the middle of treatment hell and the doctors treat me like a dog at a vet. They me ask questions and then talk right over me without even giving me a chance to respond. I am getting belligerent about stopping that BS.

      I am completely unable to speak although I am hoping I’ll be lucky and have the voice prosthesis work. I’ve tried an electrolarynx and can’t get much out of it and am horrified by the sound I can get. I sound like the crappy robot from a D-grade 1950’s movie and would rather not speak than sound like that.

      I have gone to a laryngectomy support group but have found it utterly depressing and have yet to come to terms with where I find myself after surgery.

      Anyway, there is at least one person out here that knows how you feel.

  • I live in a planned community of 600 homes in West Central Florida (Tampa Bay area), and over half of our residents are online with Nextdoor, even members of our Homeowners Association (HOA) Board of Directors and our community Property Manager. I receive notifications of posts every day and have learned so much by being part of our Nextdoor community. Nextdoor has brought the residents of my neighborhood together in all kinds of ways, and people are quick to jump in with helpful input when someone reaches out with a request or problem. It’s been a great forum for us to post information about neighborhood issues and to offer suggestions to our HOA members. Long story short, we LOVE Nextdoor, so thank you, Sarah!!!

  • It would be a shame to turn this community information tool into a vehicle for political, religious or social agendas.

    • Bill, I agree. That’s why I removed myself from Facebook. Growing up, I was told that you do not discuss religion or politics in a public setting. I believe this is a practice that needs to be returned to.

  • I see there are a lot of us in the same boat, lonely would love to get together just for lunch or a cup of coffee and chat, but the problem I see it seems that people are from everywhere…is there a way to narrow the field down in here so that you can see who lives in your area. And some posts you can reply to and others you have no way to even get in touch with the person even if they do live relatively close to them. I live in Cartersville GA, my husband passed away in Oct. or 2017. Since then I have become a bit of a hermit, and once in awhile I would love to go out and eat, but I just won’t go alone.

  • I am divorced and live with two dogs. They keep me going. Family an hour away in another state.
    Dating or meeting women my age is almost impossible. Most new age or kids facebooking text instead of visual or personal contact. You can know more by hearing or seeing body language.
    On another note virtual support groups would make the site great.

  • Hi my name is Lori and I live in South Hackensack I could really use a friend or friends. My best friends are kind of scattered and far so we only go out once in a while so please count me in. Thanks ?

  • I am lonely very often.I am not sure how this works.I am 59 and live at home. I live below the poverty level so going out and spending $ is not going to work for me.I am very well educated and looking for some one to have intelligent conversation.I live in Canton, Connecticut.

  • Hello Sarah, my mother was born and raised in Belfast. I am first generation American on her side of the family. I am assuming you were talking about the most recent troubles that started in 1969. I have stories about earlier ones from my mother, God rest her soul. I am now 71 years old and I am feeling that loneliness. Don’t get me wrong, my family is great and since I am now the oldest living relative on my side they do look out for me. However, they all have families of their own and I, personally, feel they come first. Since I have moved back to PA I have reconnected with old friends. There is even a bunch of classmates that get together once a month. We call our group ‘Meet and Eat’. I am one of those rare people that do not drive so my access to others is limited to travel availability. Luckily our town has some of the best public transportation, which helps. Family also, when able, will get me where I need to go and of course there is the senior ride share, STEP, in this area. Am I lonely? Yes, some days more than others. Yet there are times when I embrace my alone time and days when it depresses me. But I keep moving forward. ?

  • It just recently hit me that I don’t have good, real friends at the present time. I am in Broward County, FL, considering move to Palm Beach County. So friends in either county works for me. I don’t like to be consistently doing things by myself, and I don’t like to eat out by myself. I budget, but I do like restaurants and events and some films (independent, foreign). I’ve two dogs and a cat. I’m 66 years of age, retired for less than a year. I find I have more energy when I have friends. And, I am tired of trying to initiate activities with “friends”, who sometimes even forget. I had two wonderful friends who died two years ago; they were each age 70. We thought alike, they were fun, empathetic, and interesting. Both had children, no grandchildren; and their lives were not wrapped around their families or spouse.

  • I lost my dear wife of 40x years just over 3 months ago, and have found that it is very few ways for me to engage in normal interaction with people that are my age.We have been in our home 14 years and have some wonderful neighbors, but most of them are quite a bit younger than I am, and have there own life,and family;s to keep them busy. I would like to fine some people on the north Idaho area that would like to go for walks,dine out , see a movie ect. I live in Hayden, Coeur D’ alene area,and would love to contact some others my age, that will be 78 years in about a week.I do like this site for all of the info that I can gather with ease. Good luck to all, Robert.

  • Hi SARAH,

    GREAT blog. I’m going to share this with my gen Z teenage son who doesn’t believe all his time socializing on discord and gaming can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnect. You are someone who sees and has found a way to use social media to help counter the negative effects our younger gen Z doesn’t quite understand. Human connection will always be necessary for life. It is the way we were created and designed – for intimacy and community. God’s great design! Thank you again!

  • I’ve been studying the emergence of the “The Gig Economy” which is growing because of the larger and larger numbers of us who are earing our incomes as
    freelancers rather than as employees of companies.

    I see Nextdoor as having a big role in helping people and small business owners network to keep more revenue inside of our neighborhoods to take care of things like potholes, schools, police and downtown issues to keep our neighborhoods safe and thriving.

  • I moved out here from SoCal and have only been here almost a year in Henderson, Nevada. I’m single and wanting to meet men and women who know about this area and do something fun. I’m not alone as I have my daughter and grandson with me, but I am lonely. Want and need some kind of social life to start enjoying my free time out of my home. Anyone interested in doing something, let me know.

  • Nice post. Lots of good info. I wondered if you could share the name of the organization that matches teen volunteers with older folks to help them with technologies. Would appreciate.

  • I live in Venice, Fl. If there is a movie buff contingent, please reach out to me. My interests are documentaries, biographies, history, and music (have missed “Rocket Man,” and “Yesterday” because I don’t have transportation.

    I’ll have to wait for DVD for those.

    Absolutely no violence, cruelty, or war, to name a few unwelcome categories.

    Thanks.

  • I moved to a new state a year ago to take care of my mom who has dementia. Her dementia turned out to be worse than I thought and so i’m Taking care of her 24/7 with almost no support system. I used to have a great social life but now I can’t even go to the grocery store unless someone will sit with her. My problem isn’t that i’ve Become more isolated because of social media, it’s life that has caused me to be isolated.

  • Anyone from the South Lyon, Michigan area? I am recently widowed, have been blessed with some very good friends but because they are not always available, I have some very lonely moments (days). I do not have any children and the rest of my small family reside on the other side of town. Thank goodness for my dog. Is there anyone out there who would like to maybe make another friend?

  • Hello, Don from Golden Colorado, inspired by this group and was hoping anyone in group near my area? Looking for more people to get together for social gathering.

  • Hi everyone. I’ve been following this thread since day one and it is becoming a bit difficult to keep up with so many postings… there are so many of us that would love to connect with others, I haven’t figured out how to communicate with those in nearby areas.
    I live in the Houston area. I lost my two closest friends that lived in the area in the past couple of years. Others are busy with with their work and families. I would love to get together for most any activity. I’m 62 years young, single with 2 dogs……walking, hiking, day trips, coffee, movies, most any activity would be of interest… It would be nice to see if a few of us in the Houston area could create getting together as well …..

  • Hi Ursula, thank you for responding to my post. I live in Alameda county, Ca. Would love to correspond and or meet if you are in the area.

  • Hi everyone, would love to meet new people and make friends. Moved from East coast to California and it has been difficult adjusting. Feeling a bit isolated.

    I enjoy reading mystery books, film noir movies, red wines and dark chocolate. I also love gardening, cooking and baking.

  • Portland, OR

    Hi, I posted an invitation to retirees and seniors on Next Door a couple of months ago for an afternoon group for cards, games, movies, lunches, shot trips, short walks, other interests in SW Gresham Area. Not one response. I am retired teacher. My husband passed last year.

    I say “hi” to everyone. Walk my dog at two parks, visited several groups and functions, know most my neighbors, have two sons very busy with their careers. It seems everyone is busy with their own lives and or families etc. Most of my girl friends move out of state to be with their families. I have done some volunteer work. Everyone seems to be too busy living their life to be open to more friends.

    Faye

    • There is a Village to Village network located in Portland and several neighborhoods. I don’t know Portland but here is a link to their webpage. Explore it and maybe you can find a connnection to one in your area. They are always looking for volunteers and new members.

      https://villagesnw.org/

      See my post dated August 4th about the Village to Village network for seniors and volunteers.

      -Dave-

  • This is amazing, almost 1000 comments from July 22 to August 3rd from people who want to grow and experience a world that is supposed to be so connected. My take on not being isolated is to value yourself, go out, expect good things, recognize some people are not nice ( but that’s their issue, not yours) and just help others where you are when you can. Be the angel. I find by volunteering I get so much more for that time than I would being alone or watching a screen. I do real estate for a living so I meet people on the phone and in person. I volunteer in my community ( beautification, scouting and some pollinator planting, soup kitchen), and join neighborhood improvement groups in my town. I go to church and see people there, I walk around the neighborhood for exercise instead of joining a gym. I have found it good to go to the same place and do the same thing on a regular basis. Maybe you could help kids with homework, be a mentor in Junior Achievement, Join the Elks, the Rotary Club, help people who have mobility issues, or help at a soup kitchen. Go to presentations at the library or local park. Watch an outdoor movie in the summer. Feed birds.. Have a monthly lemonade happy hour in your neighborhood to raise money for the local animal shelter. By taking the first step you will be closer than your were, you get the idea, Instead of thinking about what I want I always give thanks for what I can give, Instead of wanting more I am grateful that I have enough. I wrote “An Attitude Of Gratitude Effects Your Altitude and Latitude In Life” on the premise that we can fly higher and go farther when were are grateful—– 1) Gratitude creates our Attitude, We either see the good in our life experience and are grateful, or find meaning in despair, failure and regret. Choosing to identify experiences, people and resources to be Grateful for has been an essential ingredient of happiness and hope throughout life. Every morning we can start being grateful for the possibility of the new day and the wealth of experience we have in our personal lives —–2) Attitude creates our Altitude…Attitude is how we perceive and react to the moment, and people we share our life with. Is our attitude full of possibility or fear? Does our attitude call us to help others or dismiss their problems? Do we see problems and challenges as opportunities for learning and personal growth, or immovable blocks to our personal plans? Do we experience delays in our plans and travel as sources of anger and frustration, or do we accept our ever looming lack of control over everything? Do we use unplanned time to review everything and affirm all that is going well and our accomplishments, or do we beat ourselves down, again and again over failures and frustrations? ——–3) Altitude of determines your Latitude . Altitude is how much energy you have, and how far you rise to the occasion at hand. Do you live at a high, exciting, engaging altitude of experience, seeking meaningful, interactive experiences, or do you exist in a low, boring repetitive place. As we have more confidence in our abilities we are likely to engage greater challenges that offer greater rewards and possible larger risk of failure.—–4) Latitude determines your range of Effect. The more altitude you attain, supported by your attitude of gratitude, the greater Latitude of effect you may achieve. The more you present, project and connect, the more connections you will make. As the awareness of your creativity grows, so will the shared power enthusiasm. The exponential growth of an idea is currently called viral since idea sharing happens very fast when individuals use social networks.—–I, David Carr, conceived and claim: the synergy of “Gratitude – Attitude -Altitude – Latitude” as a cohesive whole on January 8, 2014 after exhaustive searching for the compilation, discussion and application of these four words published together. Trademark Pending

  • Wow! I am amazed at all of the comments that followed Sarah’s blog. I see that people really need and want those personal social connections and interactions even more than the on-line ones. Next Door tries to facilitate that in every community they touch. It has been very useful for people in my neighborhood.

    Through the Nextdoor platform I discovered the ‘Village to Village Network’ and became a volunteer for Ashby Village, a network organization located in in Berkeley, CA. The Village to Village Network is a nationwide group whose purpose is to help people age in their own homes through the use of vetted volunteers who provide the services that seniors in their communities need. I joined as a volunteer and have met lots of people and worked to expand our services to other communities in the East Bay (California).

    If anyone reading this lives in the cities of Emeryville, North Oakland, Berkeley, Albany, Kensington, El Cerritio, or Richmond check out their website at this link to see the servies and social connections available to members: https://www.ashbyvillage.org/

    If you live in another part of the country go to the Village to Village Network’s national webpage to get some background on how it developed and works. There is a link to a map of the US and you can search it to see if there is a village network organization in your city/town.

    https://www.vtvnetwork.org/content.aspx?page_id=22&club_id=691012&module_id=248578

    -Dave-

  • OH WOW, I had NO IDEA my post would create such a forum! This has inspired me to create a group on Facebook. I’m looking for ideas on an appropriate name for the group, any suggestions and ideas would be welcome. I’m shocked to see the domino effect my comment created, but so glad it did! There are obviously some good people in the world! Let’s move this to a better forum, I welcome all of your inspirations, ideas, volunteers, posts etc…. I look forward to learning more and continuing this journey. I think I just found my calling…. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND KINDNESS!!!!!! I’m quite touched by all of it!! I can’t wait to see where this goes! Let’s rock n roll people!

  • Seniors have need for social contacts. Friends or relatives move further and further away and/or die. The circle becomes smaller and smaller and the need to remain social declines. Depression and illness lend to the isolation. Senior Centers allow friendship to develop and the more activities the better.

    • Our senior center does not have a lot of friendly faces or caring social workers which is the kind of senior center I ran back in the day. I have never seen so many people uncaring of seniors in all my years in the world or in the profession. I ran centers at beginning of my career and have helped people my entire life in my profession. Now when I need support after multilple losses, there is not one. Even this visiing angels came when called when needed help to go to doctors appt until I had to have surgery, they wanted payment under the table, Another agency sent a man who wanted to know if I was taking medications and what they were. Good I do not take meds. He did not come back to help with my gargbage which is all I needed to get to the block away to have picked up. It is as if seniors are rappant in the world aegism I saw and fought for decades and some people let all our work slide. It is so sad and disruptive. I see the world as an uncaring place and the news make that clear daily. My own chilldren are too busy to show any kind of caring whether I could us help or not and begrudge why I would need help. I hope I never need help ever again but when pain overehelms I get scared and hopedeclines further. I find people, I used to thouroughly enjoy, mundane and self centered with not vitality or spunk. I laugh and keep people laughing an uplifted but it is getting tiresome that so many do not have wonderful personalies. I have a profession that keeps me energized but these people are trauma victims and worth their weight in gold, if only they can see it. They are the most greacious folks I know and they are where I put my small energies as they dwindle away with a non caring society who puts money where it does best to the world. I am lucky I can impart my spunk and upliftng knowleges to others, but wish I could at least get one human who could help forify me and I sure could use fortifying. Feeling so isolated which made me begin a serach beyond my learning forums.

      • It would be helpful if you left us your Town or City name, in case that a caring person, out there, wanted to contact you and perhaps become a new friend. Everyone is a stranger until you talk to them. The world is not as cold as you think. It takes an outgoing personality to harvest friends. Yes. I said harvest. It is just like a farmer tilling his soil, making furrows and putting in seeds, then watering, weeding, and other care follows. Tend to a garden and it shall grow. Go out and meet people – anywhere, everywhere. This world has many future friends in it just waiting to meet you! Retired people often have busy schedules: going and coming and seeming to not have time for friendships. The professionals tell us that we live longer with friends around us. As Sr’s, we may have many friends, then watch them disappear – one by one. The getting of friends is so fulfilling – the loosing of friends is very sad. That means, we just have to get more of them. Good luck in your harvesting a few friends. They are there in plain sight – go out and meet them!!

  • Well, I have been on Disability since 2009 and now the federal gov’t has decided to stop my SSD. I’ve filed an appeal, but I’ve heard nothing. I am really scared: my health benefits stop August 31st. I am unable to work, so I don’t understand why I have been cut off, but I pray I can be reinstated.

    • SOUNDS LIKE YOU MAY WANT TO THINK ABOUT FINDING A LAWYER THAT SPECIALZES IN DISABILITY. THAT ROUTE WORKED WELL FOR MY WIFE.

  • Anyone alone and feeling more fearful in 70 plus years of life in this crazy world. It is not a warm and caring place anymore and harrassment and subtrafuge and kindness seems to be at a minimum. If you are facing a world in a state of fear and lack or compassion, it makes daily life no longer fun and freespirited. Spent years of helping the elderly and famiies for decades but times have changed. It is not as I did my job and this world no longer has those caring agencies as I ran over my lifetime. I never expected I would not get the same kindness I had taught my staff to be with our clients. Now I am alone and when asked for help, I was minimized and dictated to even though competent and kind to those I needed to reach out to. One wanted money under the table. One wanted to know if I took medications. Wonder what he was searching for. Wanted companionship and help to get through three major deaths in my world and children who were only invested in themselves and trying to cope with their world and believe that seniors are obsolete and no room for the excess baggae of a parent. Spent my lifetime caretaking them and providing them with love, support and healing for the decades in my home, proding them every day of that life with kindness and understanding and healing skills for mental and physical life to get them into college and a future. Now I am just waste for their brain and love seems to only be wrapped in gifts or money, no warmth of a special holiday provided for throughtout the years or special trips or fun activities, only as if they never happened of was expected. Never a thank you except a daughter who said she did not know why my mother would want to live beyond 70. Children do not respect thier elders, they only seem to find them a burder, even when you live far away and ask for nothing in return for raising them. If a gift is missed, you are snubbed. If you are not mobile enouth to travel, then you get no check in to see how you are doing. Nieghbors know your mobility but offer no aide or visit to see how you are doing or do you need help. Would not even ask or request as obligation is something I can no longer owe as I do not have the energy oro mobility to aide anyone easily. The times I offered when first moved to the state I live, I was snubbed as this is one of the worst snubbing state I have ever known, by stories I have hears from others.

    • I am sorry you are going through this. I am alone too have no children, widowed & no family left so I understand your fear about being alone after 70.

      • I’m also in the same position. Isolation is a great price is in America Especially among Seniors. I’m in Austin Texas. where are you? Feel free to email. Margaret

        • Hi Margaret,
          My name is Jan and I am seeing this past week that this blog is circulating again from the one that started several months ago. I have read Anne’s post and relate to many parts of it. I see that you live in Austin. It was my home for over 20 years and I moved to Houston a few years ago to care for parents who are now gone and I’m still here. You shared to feel free to email…I don’t know how to find that so I’m posting here hoping you might see it.
          When the responses first starting coming in a few months ago I had wanted to find people in parts of Texas to connect with, create community with and did not get anywhere with it at that time.
          If you are interested in connecting please feel free to email me

  • Hello looking for people in West Sac CA for get to gathers mainly for those who feel lonely. I am 70 + and experiencing this oh so rude and greedy attitude of the general public. It is nothing like when I was a girl, when you could play in your neighborhood , feel safe and came home for dinner when the lights turned on. Would like to form a group with like people for playing cards, trivia games, cooking tips, pot lucks, picnics, music or any other type of group activities you can think of, to meet people who could become friends or form a family type to talk and have fun with, not to mention getting out of the house and becoming more active. Like many people my family is no longer in the area. Would’t be nice to have friends, you really can’t have too many friends. You might even get to know a close neighbor. LOL Anyone that has suggestions, or likes this idea please email me with the subject line Will U B my friend {yes I got that from Mr. Rodgers}LOL

  • Hi Theresa,

    I am seeing your message a few years too late. I live in N.H.
    if you see this feel free to respond Sandibeech29@gmail. Please put something on the subject line, so I’ll know it isn’t spam, if you respond.
    Carol

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