At the start of a new year, we often resolve to make change for ourselves and our surroundings. Embarking on a new decade, I reflect on what neighbors showed me in my first year as CEO of Nextdoor: that change can begin with simple acts of kindness and that gathering together in our neighborhoods can have a profound effect on our lives.
I experienced this firsthand as neighbors around the world extended invitations to their local gatherings. In Atlanta, I pulled up a chair with a dozen people who called the city home: neighbors, community leaders, public officials, local entrepreneurs. Our group came together to discuss a common goal. They had all been working on solutions—individually up until that point—to help neighbors in need of food security. With sleeves rolled up and arms outstretched, our conversation was productive. They left with more resources than they came in with; they left with neighbors to rely on.
The table in Atlanta was one of many where I witnessed the real-life impact of the online-to-offline connections that begin or are nurtured on Nextdoor. I’ve been to neighborhood fiestas in Spain, a local business owner meetup in Denver, a town hall meeting in Sydney, a community group in Canada. I’ve watched hands, both literally and figuratively, reach across tables, and oftentimes divides, to share problems, ideas, and support. Taking part in neighborhood conversations reinforces what I know to be true: what we have in common is greater than what separates us. Even these photos strike me as a collage of one large community instead of smaller ones sprinkled across the globe.
A year ago, I penned my first letter to you as CEO of Nextdoor. Since then, my team and I have been hard at work developing better ways to bring people closer to their local communities. We have seen a 25% decrease in reported comments between neighbors since launching our Kindness Reminder feature. There has also been a trend on the platform of neighbors coming together to form groups offline. I attended one meetup in Australia and saw for myself how it was transforming their community. A member named Delene called on neighbors to join her for breakfast during a difficult time in her life, and now the weekly club has led to countless friendships, support systems, and one marriage proposal. For some, it is simply a reason to leave the house. What we’re doing at Nextdoor continues to grow and the why only strengthens.
While we have a lot to celebrate from this past year, we recognize that there is still much to overcome in our communities: social isolation, the rise of incivility, increased polarization. Physician and The Rabbit Effect author Dr. Kelli Harding, has researched how neighborhoods and communities affect individuals’ wellbeing and affirms that the most important thing we can do for our health is to foster positive relationships. Dr. Harding shares: “A review of 148 studies with 308,849 participants found that active social circles increased a person’s likelihood of survival by 50% regardless of age, gender, or other medical problems.”
At Nextdoor, we know that cultivating more casual, low stakes relationships, like those with your neighbors, is often the beginning of something bigger. A chat at the local coffee shop, sharing what you did this weekend with a parent at pick-up. Explained in this article, sociologist Mark Granovetter calls these relationships “weak ties,” though their effects are anything but. These are connections that can help us feel less lonely and more empathetic, they are trusted sources for services, recommendations, even jobs. They are the examples of connections we see happen every day on Nextdoor.
As we work with experts to better measure and improve neighborhood vitality, we also turn to you as the ultimate experts on what powers your community. In 2020, we will be hosting gatherings in neighborhoods around the world, starting in New York City, where tonight in Brooklyn I’ll be hosting a get-together with neighbors of all kinds: local business owners, community organizers, families, and new friends. Next stop? You tell me: To host a neighbor gathering in your area with some help from Nextdoor, share here what makes where you live so special or in need of a gathering.
In this new year and new decade, Nextdoor remains committed to cultivating kindness in every neighborhood by instantly connecting you to neighbors you can rely on. We know we won’t always get it right; we expect your feedback, ask you to keep us accountable, and thank you for inviting us into your community. At Nextdoor, it takes a neighborhood—this year, I’m looking forward to getting to know more about yours.
Reminder: this is Nextdoor’s national blog. To connect with your local neighborhood, please login at nextdoor.com.
Follow @Nextdoor on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram for company news and inspiring stories from neighbors around the world!
That’s marvelous! Sometimes all people need is a friend..someone to talk with.
Elizabeth..So TRUE ! One ”necessity” in Life IS Knowing you Have a Friend who .. is Welcoming For a chat even About What is Happening In their lives >>OR.. world events that Are so Troubling to US.. Things we Don`t quite Grasp. This is especially true When One has reached”the Golden years and >>Suddenly Find yourself “Only One’.. Whereas FOR Decades, YOU were A TWO. WE May PLAN out < How to Survive THE Years ..ahead..BUT Could not Fathom being ALONE In them. WE Just Don't realize the volume of sad this brings , until you experience it, firsthand. Kindness, even a simple Hello Goes a long way towards easing the Pain of someone..who suddenly becomes the ' One of the Twosome ' still left standing… ( yet doing their best to face the world alone… yet not ever wanting to become a burden,, in ANY manner..to anyone. ( There are SO Many of US Like THIS.. tho yet, having to 'row that lonely boat in a River of Uncertainties .' If only Everyone Realized the Value That a simple Smile and a friendly Hello Carries !! NEXT Door is a wonderful gift, And Offers Answers Where ONE THINKS there is None. Thank YOU< ""Next Door !!
This is so true. Also, there are those of us that have our “other” in a nursing home and they don’t even know us, let alone able to talk with us.
And there are those whose activities are limited because they are caregivers of an elderly parent with alzheimer’s. I’m homebound along with my mother.
I moved from Tualatin to Lake Grove this past July. was a caregiver for my mom too ! I loved it. She was called home to Our Lord in 2017 and I miss caring for her. If you ever need ANYTHING I would be happy to pick up anything or run errands or just come by for visit! I have my grandson on Fridays but can be pretty open. I get around really good but with spinal issues I can’t do any heavy work. Private message me anytime! God Bless
Coco: There may be caregiver groups in your community sponsored by the Alzheimer’s Association. Sometimes it helps to share with them.
Cherish every moment. Sometimes you have to work through the grieving process as the Alzheimer’s slowly steals away your loved one. I took care of my parents the last 5 years of their lives and I thank God every day for that blessing. It can be an exhausting challenge. This was 30 years ago. I slowly made it through nursing school and have been an RN ever since. Most of my career was working in hospital. The past 3 years in long term care. I absolutely love my elderly extended family. Everyday they welcome me with smiles and hugs. Some may not remember me from day to day but they know I am familiar and love them very much. It doesn’t get any better than that. Anyway… If you are a loving exhausted caregiver.. I know we get folks sometimes that come stay with us 5 to 7 days for Respite Care to give caretakers a break. There is also an organization called Visiting Angels who send someone to care or just sit with your loved one so you can simply run errands and such. It’s not for profit. If qualify can even be free at times..you just pay what you can.
Just wanted to share and say God bless the caregivers. Stay strong and you will be greatly rewarded.
Awesome article. I’d love to help coordinate a meeting in Mount Juliet, Tennessee.
Hi Michelle,
I Good to help some on as lucky as your mom you have the right ming and gold with you mother loves you cant forget so do what you can while it is still light..love is for people that care for one another
Private message me.
I don’t know how.
Cici please contact your local Alzheimers Association. I am a facilitator with our wives/women’s support group. We meet monthly, have a snack and unload what has been going on with our loved ones. There is love, support and lots of understanding. You are not alone. Please call.
Esther, what a lovely biblical name. Thank you for your response. I will call my local association and sign up. I love my mother very much and I’m fulfilling my promise to my late father, that I would take care of his/my beloved wife/mother. She is a Godsend to me as I lived alone for 12 years prior to her coming to live with me. Thank you, again, to all who responded. God bless.
I can promise you that you will never regret the time you spent with your mom. My mom had a spinal injury and was unable to walk, stand or anything for 7 years before she passed. It was a privilege for me to be with her every day! God bless you for taking care of your mom
Hi Kathy, thank you for your comment. I love my mom dearly and I’m thankful that I am able to care for her, and enjoy having her in my home. I lived alone for 12 years before she moved in. I just wish my friends would visit. They know she has alzheimer’s and that she lives with me. Thanks, again.
Hi Cici
I work for an assisted living facility and soon after I started I learned that we have a resource care program. What this entails is you can bring your loved one to our facility for the day or for a week if you want to go on vacation.
Check with facilities in your area to see if they provide this service. I wish I had known about this because I was gone bound with my dad until he passed.
Hope this helps to give you some freedom….
Hi Cici,
My heart goes out to you. My Dad lived with my husband and me for awhile until he fell and broke his back. Then I stayed with him 24 hours a day at the hospital until he passed away two months later. During that time, he was delusional and not an easy patient to deal with. He thought the mafia was after him and that a big black lab was running up and down the hall! He kept trying to get out of the hospital bed. When he was in ICU, he was convinced the nurses were trying to kill him.
Do you have any magazines, books of puzzles, or jigsaw puzzles? Can you ask a friend to watch your mom for 2 or 3 hours periodically so that you can get out of the house and have a little time of your own?
Where are you located? I would be happy to mail you a goody box! I have magazines such as Texas Highways and Birds and Blooms and Readers Digest, or if you like more intellectual ones, I can send these, as well. If you like paperback books, please let me know what types you enjoy.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Best wishes,
Vicki Severson from Houston
Hi Cici not sure where you live I am in New York. I took care of my Mom for 10 years, the last three she was lost in the world of Alzheimers. When she passed I felt like I had lost her two times. She has been gone for 10 years. There wasn’t really the resources for a person to turn to then like there is now. The main thing to remember is take care of Yourself too because you are her caregiver and although she doesn’t know it you are her lifeline. If you haven’t already call groups or ask if there are people who come to give some help and respite for you. I was alone taking care of my Mom. Thank goodness for the last 6 months my Brother and sister heard me and stepped in to give me a hand. Hospice helped us and its not just for end of life they send health care aids who help to bathe,feed and other things. They are a huge support and because of them we were able to get medical equipment and support for Me too. My prayers are with you and your Mom. Sending you cyber hugs.
Growing old is an issue. Care giving is one of the most difficult job in many ways. Having neighbor support is really a huge help. Social contact is really helpful! A cup of coffee a kind word, just taking time to care about one another. As we get older I can see the loneliness as a couple or just one is a huge issue.. would love to have a senoir group.
Cici, I hope that someone in the family, or a close friend or maybe even a good neighbor will come to your aid & give you a break from time to time. It’s so important for your physical & mental health. I took care of my mom, too. It’s not always easy. God bless you.
If one of your parents was a veteran they can get a benefit called Aid and attendance. The spouse of the veteran can get the benefit even if the one that was the veteran has passed away. The benefit pays for someone from a company to come in and stay with them so you can go out or to work. They can just be a companion or someone who bathes them, helps them dress, fixes meals and does light house keeping. We got this benefit for my parents when they couldn’t be left alone and my sister had to go to work. You can print out the forms from Veteran organization websites. You can also contact social services and see if there is a relief program where you live. They will pick them up and care for them for several days to give you a break.
Hi Cici, I am RN actually a psychiatric and mental RN and I am Certified Dementia Practioner. God bless you. Caring for a dementia patient can be challenging at times but at the end of the day YOU were important to her all you can do is live in the moment and enter her world. That can be funny journey.
There is an abundance of help out there. Ther is the adult day care. Have her doctor or home health. They willl have an aide come help you with her ADL bathing dressing it can very educational. And if you need a break go see a friend shop just be alone and breath the CNA can stay and you go
Department of human service the adult services they to can assist you.
You are doing the right thing keeping her in home and this is the most rewarding thing. Helping her live in the moment not just merely existing..
You can contact me anytime. Helping dementia patients and their family was never just a job I love what I do
Cici: This is probably not true everywhere, but my local Meals on Wheels (San Antonio) has a super facility and day program called “Grace Place.” They have around 40 senior citizens with dementia or alzheimer’s who are left from 8 to 5 to give caregivers a break. It is professionally staffed with personnel trained on how to deal with the behaviors that may arise. Activities are provided that allow the visitors to feel dignity and a sense of purpose. I was so impressed when I visited. I realize you may not be so lucky as to live close to such a facility. I am hoping you have community, family, or church that will assist. Bless you for caring for your mother. I am concerned for you. If we live too far away, send me a private message and I will try to assist from long distance with finding some resources for you.
Cici,
Deep respect for you dear!
Start from home than spread that’s all my parents taught me 🙂
As a teacher I always consider my self my Son’s first teacher 🙂
Parents deserve the best and they are lucky to have you 🙂
I’m home bound with my husband that have Lewy Body Dementia.
It’s very lonely with no one to conversat with except for the dog. ☺
Gertie, You do not have to feel alone. I have some agencies that can help you!
Click on this link to connect with Family Care Alliance
https://www.caregiver.org/state-list-views?field_state_tid=64
https://www.chhs.ca.gov/home/departments/
https://www.alzheimers.net/resources/california/
Where are you located Cici?
I would be happy to
Come by and visit if I live close. I am in the Waxahachie TX area.